Salty confetti help

[salanderson]

Hello friends, I have just arrived at my new house in Manchester so as I'm sure you can imagine I need to spend my time wisely and unpack, however I shall have a quick read before doing so. Interestingly the smell has now subsided which was excellent as I met my new house mates today. I ate a whole pack of Polo's in the car before arriving.

 

The taste is still VERY strong. On the car journey I spent some of my time making a list of all the things that I have tried to get rid of the taste.

 

Things that I have eaten/drank/done to try and get rid of the salty taste in my mouth

• Brushing my teeth and tongue with multiple different pastes
  
• Mouthwash
  
• Various mints
  
• Water
  
• Mayonnaise
  
• Juice's
  
• Beer (I would try vodka but I am allergic)
  
• wiping my tongue with bread
  
• Garlic
  
• Ginger
  
• Salt
  
• Pepper
  
• Wasabi
  
• Soy Sauce
  
• Ketchup and salad cream mixed
  
• Handful of chilli's
  
• Mud
  
• Lots of variety's of chocolate and sweets
  
• Vindaloo
  
• Chinese
  
• Coating my tongue in paprika
  
• Lemon and vinegar
  
• mdma
  
• Olive oil
  
• The sachets of flavouring you get in Koka noodles
  
• Whipped cream
  
• Mustard
  
• Mint sauce
  
• Milkshake
  
• Vaseline
  
• Variety of Teas and hot drinks
  
• Ice cream
  
• Toast with many different toppings
  
• Shampoo (I regret this one the most. Needless to say Dandy got a punch in the noggin, the crafty fiend!)
  

 

This was all I could really think of, I've added a few more since writing the list. Obviously I've eaten lots more than that but they are the things I've eaten to actually try and eradicate the taste.

 

Sorry I don't have very much time to post at present.

 

Olly.

[mentlegen.]

Um...

[forevermusic]

You tried more salt?!? :LOL:

 

Blimey... that is a hell of a list. It must be very stubborn not to go away.

[Kris.]

You tried more salt?!? :LOL:

 

I was about to ask the same!

[Bai-Lee]

:LOL::LOL:

 

You should try Marmite......

Although my black streamer did taste like it so maybe not....

[Anxyous]

MDMA?

 

Really?

[forevermusic]

Just did a count... that's 34 items

 

That is a very stubborn cluster of salty stuff.

[salanderson]

Can't help but feel the need to post something serious.

 

There was likely a substance in the confetti that damaged the tastebuds for tasting other things than salt, to the extent they stopped functioning. This means that you can now (almost) only taste salt, and that the other tastes will return once new tastebuds have replaced the damaged/malfunctioning ones.

 

No need to worry though, even on perfectly healthy tongues the tastebuds are lost and replaced once per week. So in a couple of days from now you should be cured.

 

Don't laugh people, the above is most likely true, and can even happen when eating biological substances, like pine nuts.

This is a fantastic explanation however I'm afraid it can't be correct because when I eat other items of food the taste temporarily masks the saltiness meaning my buds must still be working.

[Einafets]

Mud???? :LOL:

 

and Vaseline?

 

I am dying here

[salanderson]

Oh and I do believe I missed Onion's from my list

[Tintin]

I think your only solution now is to try jizz.

[JacksSmirkingR3venge]

That was a very long list of food/drinks.

 

You should probably just go see a doctor at this point.... It's been what, 2 days now?

[Shrinking Universe]

This is a fantastic explanation however I'm afraid it can't be correct because when I eat other items of food the taste temporarily masks the saltiness meaning my buds must still be working.

 

Ah ok, was worth a shot

[salanderson]

That was a very long list of food/drinks.

 

You should probably just go see a doctor at this point.... It's been what, 2 days now?

 

You're correct that I need to acquire an appointment with a medical professional. The only problem is is that I moved to Manchester today (from Brighton) and don't have the faintest idea of the location of my local surgery.

 

I'm thinking of writing to Muse management and asking if they have had any similar problems reported, it's bound to be a problem with more than just myself.

[Yellow Regret]

 

I'm thinking of writing to Muse management and asking if they have had any similar problems reported, it's bound to be a problem with more than just myself.

 

Erm...

[shelovesyou]

I was hungry

But I had only streamers

Then I decided to eat one

A confetti tongue collision

 

I had nothing left to lose

I took the time to choose

Then I ate the streamer

With no idea that...

 

The salt would be forever

And If I die

I'll still taste that flavour

And I, will taste it ever

Cause salt will be forever

 

My mouth is broken

Tastebuds fail to function

You ask for medical advice

But no one wants to listen

 

Taste,

The streamers colourful

Confetti looks so good

But you find the taste

Is like Bellamy's semen

 

Salt is forever

And If I die

I'll still taste that flavour

And I, will taste it ever

Cause salt will be forever

 

Now I had nothing left to lose

I took the time to choose

Then I ate the streamer

With no idea that...

 

The salt would be forever

And If I die

I'll still taste that flavour

And I, will taste it ever

Cause salt will be forever

 

I'm dead.

[MUSEquera]

Oh, gawd, this thread is going to be the death of me . I keep choking on my food, which goes to show that I am a slow learner .

 

And the tags!!

[MUSEquera]

I think your only solution now is to try jizz.

 

:LOL::LOL:

[JacksSmirkingR3venge]

You're correct that I need to acquire an appointment with a medical professional. The only problem is is that I moved to Manchester today (from Brighton) and don't have the faintest idea of the location of my local surgery.

 

I'm thinking of writing to Muse management and asking if they have had any similar problems reported, it's bound to be a problem with more than just myself.

 

Ah I see. I hope you can find something soon! I have to say this is the most interesting thing I have ever heard. Who knew confetti could be so salty :L

[Anxyous]

You're correct that I need to acquire an appointment with a medical professional. The only problem is is that I moved to Manchester today (from Brighton) and don't have the faintest idea of the location of my local surgery.

 

I'm thinking of writing to Muse management and asking if they have had any similar problems reported, it's bound to be a problem with more than just myself.

 

I doubt it. The only other people who do that, are too young to speak about it.

 

And MDMA? Seriously?

[lalalive]

:LOL:

 

Of all the things on that list...

 

MDMA?? And shampoo? Seriously???

 

Surely, you could ask someone where the local doctor is....or even google it. I think this is a far more pressing issue than unpacking

[Trilateral_Symmetry_Com'n.]

MDMA?

 

Really?

 

Maybe he's trying to get warm & fuzzy feelings about the persistent salty taste. But yeah, this is one guy who really shouldn't be doing any more drugs.

 

It's easy to laugh at salanderson, but there's a very good chance he's making some unenviable medical history here, and that his case will be published in a medical journal someday (or written up in an otolaryngology blog or somesuch). Doctors love oddball cases and gossiping -- er, consulting and comparing notes -- about them, so at the very least his story will circulate through the UK medical community...

[salanderson]

I was already planning on taking the MDMA so I decided to spread my part out on the table and lick it up. Usually it tastes very vile, this time it was not so bad.

 

The shampoo was my pal Dandy's idea and being very insistent that it would work got the better of me.

[JessicaSarahS]

Doctors love oddball cases and gossiping -- er' date=' consulting and comparing notes -- about them, so at the very least his story will circulate through the UK medical community...[/quote']

 

 

But it's not really oddball. He got poisoned from the flame retardant on the confetti, it damaged some of his taste buds so now he only tastes his salty saliva, and he didn't seek proper medical care for an extended period of time. Sounds pretty open and closed to me.

[salanderson]

But it's not really oddball. He got poisoned from the flame retardant on the confetti, it damaged some of his taste buds so now he only tastes his salty saliva, and he didn't seek proper medical care for an extended period of time. Sounds pretty open and closed to me.

The only chance he has had to seek medical attention he has been rejected as a prank caller. Brilliant.