KarennNAFe Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Bear with me on this one.... Matt decides to take a drive to visit the Jorvik Viking Centre. On the way he stops for petrol. He walks into the garage shop to pay and, spying the assistant's name badge, says (slowly, so he can understand) "Hi Edd, pump number 3 please mate". "Hey, aren't you Matt Bellamy off of MUSE?" comments Edd. "Er.. yeah" replies Matt. "What brings you all the way up here?" "I'm visiting the Jorvic Centre in York." "D'ya need directions to get there, Matt?" "No thanks" says Matt, "I don't need another map of York, Edd" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Gloom Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Bear with me on this one.... Matt decides to take a drive to visit the Jorvik Viking Centre. On the way he stops for petrol. He walks into the garage shop to pay and, spying the assistant's name badge, says (slowly, so he can understand) "Hi Edd, pump number 3 please mate". "Hey, aren't you Matt Bellamy off of MUSE?" comments Edd. "Er.. yeah" replies Matt. "What brings you all the way up here?" "I'm visiting the Jorvic Centre in York." "D'ya need directions to get there, Matt?" "No thanks" says Matt, "I don't need another map of York, Edd" That one is funny..i like that 1! mine are crap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.jingles Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 ( Phone rings ) MATT BELLAMY: Hello? THOM YORKE: Hi, is this Matt Bellamy? MATT BELLAMY: Yes, that's me THOM YORKE: I just wanted to know if I could have my sound back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skittles Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 what's a chav's favourite muse album? ASBO-lution Down in the south, that's what we call alochol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spc.Dmnt Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Bear with me on this one.... Matt decides to take a drive to visit the Jorvik Viking Centre. On the way he stops for petrol. He walks into the garage shop to pay and, spying the assistant's name badge, says (slowly, so he can understand) "Hi Edd, pump number 3 please mate". "Hey, aren't you Matt Bellamy off of MUSE?" comments Edd. "Er.. yeah" replies Matt. "What brings you all the way up here?" "I'm visiting the Jorvic Centre in York." "D'ya need directions to get there, Matt?" "No thanks" says Matt, "I don't need another map of York, Edd" hahaha this one made me lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilya Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Bear with me on this one.... Matt decides to take a drive to visit the Jorvik Viking Centre. On the way he stops for petrol. He walks into the garage shop to pay and, spying the assistant's name badge, says (slowly, so he can understand) "Hi Edd, pump number 3 please mate". "Hey, aren't you Matt Bellamy off of MUSE?" comments Edd. "Er.. yeah" replies Matt. "What brings you all the way up here?" "I'm visiting the Jorvic Centre in York." "D'ya need directions to get there, Matt?" "No thanks" says Matt, "I don't need another map of York, Edd" :LOL: that wins! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarennNAFe Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 :LOL: that wins! *celebrates* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who_Killed_Laura_Palmer? Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 Muse jokes, arent aware of any, but when my mates take the piss out of me cos they think the music is depressing, they say How do you stop a Muse fan from Dying? Take away his razorblades WHY did this make me laugh?! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADAM Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 what's a chav's favourite muse album? ASBO-lution HAHAH! Bear with me on this one.... Matt decides to take a drive to visit the Jorvik Viking Centre. On the way he stops for petrol. He walks into the garage shop to pay and, spying the assistant's name badge, says (slowly, so he can understand) "Hi Edd, pump number 3 please mate". "Hey, aren't you Matt Bellamy off of MUSE?" comments Edd. "Er.. yeah" replies Matt. "What brings you all the way up here?" "I'm visiting the Jorvic Centre in York." "D'ya need directions to get there, Matt?" "No thanks" says Matt, "I don't need another map of York, Edd" ...baaadd.....but good because its badd.... ( Phone rings ) MATT BELLAMY: Hello? THOM YORKE: Hi, is this Matt Bellamy? MATT BELLAMY: Yes, that's me THOM YORKE: I just wanted to know if I could have my sound back. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 ( Phone rings ) MATT BELLAMY: Hello? THOM YORKE: Hi, is this Matt Bellamy? MATT BELLAMY: Yes, that's me THOM YORKE: I just wanted to know if I could have my sound back. I might get that if I knew who Thom Yorke was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadbeat dolly Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 I might get that if I knew who Thom Yorke was... just in case you weren't taking the piss: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thom_Yorke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Oh no...the dreaded 'R' word. Now that I get it, that's a crap joke, i'm sick of Muse being compared to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremy kyle Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Oh no...the dreaded 'R' word. Now that I get it, that's a crap joke, i'm sick of Muse being compared to them. maybe you should get used to the fact that they ripped them off something terrible olo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 maybe you should get used to the fact that they ripped them off something terrible olo If you say so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza12 Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 what's a chav's favourite muse album? ASBO-lution :LOL: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myDefinition Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Whats the difference between Thom and Matt..? Ones a great songwriter and musician...the other is "Fitter, healthier and more productive" ( I will leave it to you to decide which is which) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana R. Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 i don't get them....maybe because i'm not british Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futurophu Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 what's a chav's favourite muse album? ASBO-lution HAA! fantastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Born Lee Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Whats the difference between Thom and Matt..? Ones a great songwriter and musician...the other is "Fitter, healthier and more productive" ( I will leave it to you to decide which is which) That's really more of a Radiohead joke tbh. "happier" would have worked better as well instead of "healthier", though I do know healthier is in the lyrics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Born Lee Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Q: What did Chopin say when he met Matt? A: He gave back that overture, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperbliss22 Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 ok, say matt were to become an emo. why would his new emo friends think of him as a wimp? he'd only give himself micro cuts. *** how d'you know when matt's sick? 'lips are turning blue...' *** What powers Matt's vacuum cleaner? A Supermassive Black Hole. *** can't think of anything else, but that's probably a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Q: What did Chopin say when he met Matt? A: He gave back that overture, of course. I am SO bad at jokes, it's not even funny. Matt Bellamy's already ahead of the "pregnant man," he's been stretching it like a birth squeeze for almost 9 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagreat1edgar Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 maybe you should get used to the fact that they ripped them off something terrible olo silence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minnie Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Bear with me on this one.... Matt decides to take a drive to visit the Jorvik Viking Centre. On the way he stops for petrol. He walks into the garage shop to pay and, spying the assistant's name badge, says (slowly, so he can understand) "Hi Edd, pump number 3 please mate". "Hey, aren't you Matt Bellamy off of MUSE?" comments Edd. "Er.. yeah" replies Matt. "What brings you all the way up here?" "I'm visiting the Jorvic Centre in York." "D'ya need directions to get there, Matt?" "No thanks" says Matt, "I don't need another map of York, Edd" :LOL::LOL:That is soooo bad!! :LOL: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatlesmaniac98 Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 :LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL: now THAT was funny!! yur sig THE KILLERS what did matt say to dom? is that a banana in your pocket!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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