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[Interview] Matt the farmer! (20 Minuten - translation)

[DT|_Me]DEADSTAR

By [DT|_Me]DEADSTAR
in Muse In the Media

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L. Escapee

L.

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He hates getting up in the morning :LOL:

He likes to get up at about 2/3 o'clock in the afternoon.

 

I hope Matt bought a farmer too so there is actually one person who knows how to run this farm instead of just running it into the ground.

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Trilateral_Symmetry_Com'n. Escapee

Trilateral_Symmetry_Com'n.

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Knowing him, he'll try and grow a banana tree.

 

He can try, but it won't work without a heated greenhouse (not to give him any ideas)...

 

 

I don't know why you guys are all laughing.... you're so insensitive!

 

I, for one, am completely heartbroken to learn that Matt has bought the farm :'( :'( :'(

 

Oof! That one gets the "muted-cornet descending bleats" response!

 

I'm thinking that Matt's so-called working farm is destined to be one of the most over-capitalized, biggest money-pits of all the farms in the Home Counties. He's going to have to hire an experienced farmhand to do most of the grunt work, and God knows what his property and business taxes are likely to be, but his expenses will be amortized over a ridiculously small number of head of livestock, it seems. But of course, being the tech geek he is, he'll have to invest in and upgrade the farm's machinery to the state-of-the-art (like robotic milking machines), only with Wi-Fi'd computers and lasers and shit added to it all so that he can track everything when he's away, which'll be about 90% of the time. (Let the punters play "Farmville" on FB; Matt'll be tracking the goat-milk production and calf weight-gain from Singapore and Seattle!)

 

Finally, the day of reckoning will come -- probably a year or two from now -- in which Our Musical Genius sits down with his accountant and learns that his annual production of, like, 19 lbs. of boutique goat's-milk cheese (that's the edible yield, after the spoiled and ineptly made batches were tossed) and six pigs is costing him, on a per-pound and per-ounce basis, as much to make as it would be to buy Beluga caviar (or even worse, black truffles!), and he realizes that he's not cut out to be one of Blighty's landed gentry after all. Besides, he hates both tweed and work-denim, so what the hell is he going to wear around the barn and paddocks -- D-Squared trainers and Dior jackets? That shit's gonna get shit all over them!

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CarrieB Escapee

CarrieB

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He can try, but it won't work without a heated greenhouse (not to give him any ideas)...

 

 

 

 

Oof! That one gets the "muted-cornet descending bleats" response!

 

I'm thinking that Matt's so-called working farm is destined to be one of the most over-capitalized, biggest money-pits of all the farms in the Home Counties. He's going to have to hire an experienced farmhand to do most of the grunt work, and God knows what his property and business taxes are likely to be, but his expenses will be amortized over a ridiculously small number of head of livestock, it seems. But of course, being the tech geek he is, he'll have to invest in and upgrade the farm's machinery to the state-of-the-art (like robotic milking machines), only with Wi-Fi'd computers and lasers and shit added to it all so that he can track everything when he's away, which'll be about 90% of the time. (Let the punters play "Farmville" on FB; Matt'll be tracking the goat-milk production and calf weight-gain from Singapore and Seattle!)

 

Finally, the day of reckoning will come -- probably a year or two from now -- in which Our Musical Genius sits down with his accountant and learns that his annual production of, like, 19 lbs. of boutique goat's-milk cheese (that's the edible yield, after the spoiled and ineptly made batches were tossed) and six pigs is costing him, on a per-pound and per-ounce basis, as much to make as it would be to buy Beluga caviar (or even worse, black truffles!), and he realizes that he's not cut out to be one of Blighty's landed gentry after all. Besides, he hates both tweed and work-denim, so what the hell is he going to wear around the barn and paddocks -- D-Squared trainers and Dior jackets? That shit's gonna get shit all over them!

 

Knowing Matt, I doubt he's doing it as a capitalist venture somehow. It will be about self sufficiency I expect. And he's probably still got the old joggers and baggy jumpers. :happy:

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Trilateral_Symmetry_Com'n. Escapee

Trilateral_Symmetry_Com'n.

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Knowing Matt, I doubt he's doing it as a capitalist venture somehow. It will be about self sufficiency I expect. And he's probably still got the old joggers and baggy jumpers. :happy:

 

I'm sure you're right. It's all about the idealism and his need to recreate in a creative way. But it's a costly path to self-sufficiency and simplicity; if that's all you want, you can do what the Mormons do and just stock up two years' worth of food and potable water.

 

Matt Bellamy: from Italian padrone to English country squire in just four years! (I wonder if he'll be making his own blood-puddings and sausages...?) :LOL:

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Louhi Escapee

Louhi

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So hard to understand how his mind works. Was he thinking "I'm a brilliant musician, therefore I will be a great farmer too." :D

 

Oh well, whatever makes him happy. I just hope he still has time to make music. I'm not that interested in Muse-cheese or Muse woollen sweaters. But maybe something good will come out of this. Maybe soon he will be dying to go on a tour again, to get some rest :D

 

I'm having way too much fun with this :facepalm:

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CarrieB Escapee

CarrieB

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I'm sure you're right. It's all about the idealism and his need to recreate in a creative way. But it's a costly path to self-sufficiency and simplicity; if that's all you want, you can do what the Mormons do and just stock up two years' worth of food and potable water.

 

 

He's already done that by all accounts. :D

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redphoenix7 Escapee

redphoenix7

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Aww. He means it! :) It is nice to be out with nature, I agree with him. Not sure about with smelly pigs and goats etc though.

 

Thanks for posting.:)

 

I keep thinking of him sitting pensively on a tractor now in the making of Absolution video, I think it was.

 

I agree - I think he genuinely enjoys it too. And I hope he is really happy with the new lifestyle and responsibilities he's taking on. But that part about putting "medicine on trees" still makes me laugh. You know..."because trees get ill". :chuckle:

 

And thanks to [DT|_Me]DEADSTAR for posting and translating! Definitely a fun read. :awesome:

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Trilateral_Symmetry_Com'n. Escapee

Trilateral_Symmetry_Com'n.

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So hard to understand how his mind works. Was he thinking "I'm a brilliant musician, therefore I will be a great farmer too." :D

 

Oh well, whatever makes him happy. I just hope he still has time to make music. I'm not that interested in Muse-cheese or Muse woollen sweaters. But maybe something good will come out of this. Maybe soon he will be dying to go on a tour again, to get some rest :D

 

I'm having way too much fun with this :facepalm:

 

Me too, to all of the above. I just hope he doesn't sabotage that tour with an ill-timed bout of salmonella (from impwopahly made cheese, milk, eggs, meats...) or E. coli or something. Depending on just how hands-on Maffoo insists on being with all of this, it could end in disaster. I can see the headlines now: "Muse cancels four shows: singer's contaminated goat cheese to blame".

 

He's already done that by all accounts. :D

 

:headsmack: I was just remembering the 50 tins of beans (surely more legendary to Musers than Warhol's Campbells soup cans by now!) and the axe... But he did lay away a bunch of freeze-dried om-nom-noms, didn't he? I can see it now: as the nuclear-winter-like haze gradually dissipates, some two or three years after The Catastrophe That Wiped Out Civilization As We Know It (I'm betting on either a supervolcano or an asteroid), the world will be re-booted by a preponderance of survivalist nutters (not so nutty, after all!), Mormons (ditto), and Matt Bellamy (he too was wight all along! I hope he had a can-opener along with that axe...). Should be an interesting mix.

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CarrieB Escapee

CarrieB

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:headsmack: I was just remembering the 50 tins of beans (surely more legendary to Musers than Warhol's Campbells soup cans by now!) and the axe... But he did lay away a bunch of freeze-dried om-nom-noms, didn't he? I can see it now: as the nuclear-winter-like haze gradually dissipates, some two or three years after The Catastrophe That Wiped Out Civilization As We Know It (I'm betting on either a supervolcano or an asteroid), the world will be re-booted by a preponderance of survivalist nutters (not so nutty, after all!), Mormons (ditto), and Matt Bellamy (he too was wight all along! I hope he had a can-opener along with that axe...). Should be an interesting mix.

 

:chuckle: I hope he has room in his nuclear bunker for all his sheep, pigs and cows.:chuckle:

 

Actually scary thought but I don't think there's reason to believe that the scenerio he worries about is any more unlikely, than it not happening tbh. There's always going to be a risk I think and that risk is unmeasurable.

 

But then we'll die and we'll die together! Matt is breaking that promise.:chuckle: Sorry.

 

(Someone's already visited that I know, I don't remember in what context though)

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Louhi Escapee

Louhi

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Me too, to all of the above. I just hope he doesn't sabotage that tour with an ill-timed bout of salmonella (from impwopahly made cheese, milk, eggs, meats...) or E. coli or something. Depending on just how hands-on Maffoo insists on being with all of this, it could end in disaster. I can see the headlines now: "Muse cancels four shows: singer's contaminated goat cheese to blame".

 

:LOL::LOL:

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CarrieB Escapee

CarrieB

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Interesting lol.

 

I like cows though, through the whole farm-part of the interview I was like, "Is he gonna have cows too!!?!?!?!?!!111" Cows have been my favorite animal since 3rd grade :shifty:

 

I visited a diary farm once. Was put off milk for weeks! :LOL:

 

Oh just thought is he going to send the calves to the slaughter house? Or maybe he'll just finish them off himself.

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CarrieB Escapee

CarrieB

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me too...

 

it looks like he's been reading the NSC thread :rolleyes:

 

lol

 

we do not hate the new songs..

we just have preferences :awesome:

 

I wondered what he was thinking, whether he was being defensive, but I thought he was nice about it, generous to fans, and he probably could be a politician one day going on the mastery of evasiveness in his answer.:LOL:

 

Did you get to milk one? Its really not that hard. Of course, I was laughing almost every time in the beginning. When we'd visit my grandparents, that was one thing they made us do, next to feeding the chickens, getting the cats out of the barn, moving bales, giving the dogs a good bath, feeding the pigs slop... And, if we were good kids, we got a ride on the tractor. :LOL:

 

There's something peaceful about walking down a farm field, just acres of green or gold. When they grew corn, we secretly ran out there to play hide and seek in the rows. I always got lost, and the other kids would find me easy enough from the way the dogs followed me around. Winter wheat, now that's a crop I'd plant just to be able to walk through it.

 

Sorry, kind of off-topic. :happy:

 

No nothing as romantic as that - a big commercial diary farm, and my god it stank! I've heard some not so nice things about milk since which I try not to think of. Tried soya milk but it's absolutely disgusting.

 

I'm sure Bellz little venture, if it's diary, will be the good stuff though.:)

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