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If you have £5 and Matt Bellamy has £5, Matt Bellamy has more money than you.

 

Apple pays Matt Bellamy 99p everytime

he listens to a song.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Matt Bellamy has allowed to live.

 

Matt Bellamy counted to infinity - twice.

 

Matt Bellamy can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

 

 

And one for Chris :p

 

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chris Wolstenholme turned that wine into beer.

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If you have £5 and Matt Bellamy has £5, Matt Bellamy has more money than you.

 

Apple pays Matt Bellamy 99p everytime

he listens to a song.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Matt Bellamy has allowed to live.

 

Matt Bellamy counted to infinity - twice.

 

Matt Bellamy can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

 

 

And one for Chris :p

 

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chris Wolstenholme turned that wine into beer.

 

:LOL: wine into beer... theory of evolution...:LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

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This thread is WIN

 

 

 

Is there a video of this? I stole some of these :ninja:

 

Matt Bellamy can sneeze with his eyes open.

 

Matt Bellamy does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Matt Bellamy goes killing

 

Matt Bellamy sold his soul to the devil for his good looks and unparalleled musical ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Matt kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

Matt Bellamy built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Matt Bellamy met all three bullets with his eyes, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

They once made a Matt Bellamy toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody

 

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Matt Bellamy, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

 

Crop circles are Matt Bellamy's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*#k down.

 

Matt Bellamy made Ellen Degeneres straight

 

Matt Bellamy once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tyre.

 

Matt Bellamy ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Matt Bellamy.

 

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Matt Bellamy.

 

When Matt Bellamy was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:31, he hit a previously unknown falsetto and the store became a KFC.

 

Matt Bellamy does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

 

Matt Bellamy never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Matt”

 

Matt Bellamy got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Matt Bellamy for every answer.

 

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Matt Bellamy to die before they attack.

 

Matt Bellamy does not wear a condom. There is no such thing as protection from Matt Bellamy.

:awesome: BRILLIANT!!!

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Matt Bellamy knows the answers to all unsolved mysteries.

 

Matt Bellamy has no bed because he doesn't need sleep.

 

Some people think Matt Bellamy has bad taste in clothing. In truth, everyone has bad taste in clothing, because they fail to follow Matt Bellamy's example. Matt Bellamy IS style and fashion!

 

Matt Bellamy once went to Atlantis. It couldn't handle the weight of his awesomeness and it sank into the ocean.

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Matt Bellamy knows the answers to all unsolved mysteries.

 

Matt Bellamy has no bed because he doesn't need sleep.

 

Some people think Matt Bellamy has bad taste in clothing. In truth, everyone has bad taste in clothing, because they fail to follow Matt Bellamy's example. Matt Bellamy IS style and fashion!

 

Matt Bellamy once went to Atlantis. It couldn't handle the weight of his awesomeness and it sank into the ocean.

 

:LOL: i love the atlantis one! Brilliant!

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Matt Bellamy could make an infertile woman have twins.

 

Without Muse there'd be no Matt Bellamy? Rather, without Matt Bellamy, there'd be no music.

 

Christianity in the world is rapidly decreasing. The cause? They now worship Matt Bellamy.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn't have to heat his food. His proximity and hotness can cook it.

 

Matt Bellamy could wake someone up from a coma.

 

Matt Bellamy could put someone in a coma.

 

Girls lose their innocence when they look at Matt Bellamy.

 

Matt Bellamy knows the last digit of pi.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Matt Bellamy kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.

 

When Matt Bellamy wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

 

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Matt Bellamy to give you an orgasm...Fourty seven times.

 

Matt Bellamy had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

 

A man once taunted Matt Bellamy with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Matt Bellamy proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

 

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Matt Bellamy was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

 

Matt Bellamy did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

 

Matt Bellamy's pulse is measured on the richter scale.

 

For Matt Bellamy, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.

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Matt Bellamy could make an infertile woman have twins.

 

Without Muse there'd be no Matt Bellamy? Rather, without Matt Bellamy, there'd be no music.

 

Christianity in the world is rapidly decreasing. The cause? They now worship Matt Bellamy.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn't have to heat his food. His proximity and hotness can cook it.

 

Matt Bellamy could wake someone up from a coma.

 

Matt Bellamy could put someone in a coma.

 

Girls lose their innocence when they look at Matt Bellamy.

 

Matt Bellamy knows the last digit of pi.

 

Matt Bellamy doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Matt Bellamy kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.

 

When Matt Bellamy wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

 

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Matt Bellamy to give you an orgasm...Fourty seven times.

 

Matt Bellamy had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

 

A man once taunted Matt Bellamy with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Matt Bellamy proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

 

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Matt Bellamy was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

 

Matt Bellamy did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

 

Matt Bellamy's pulse is measured on the richter scale.

 

For Matt Bellamy, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.

 

:LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: well... he CAN actually crack open a chicken:stunned::rolleyes::LOL:

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Matt Bellamy can cure female infertility with a single glance - a glance and a raised eyebrow and you're having twins.

 

Matt Bellamy is the real cause of climate change - he's so hot he's melting the polar icecaps.

 

Matt Bellamy bought sexy back first - but then he felt sorry for Justin Timberlake and let him borrow it.

 

Hey, could I sig this please?

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