cheddatom Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Dislaimer: None of this is meant to be offensive and or personal. It's probably only suitable for adults. Seeing as KnT no longer has a banter thread, and i'm not going to lower myself to the standards of the masses, I will use this thread as an outlet for my rythmic rhyming raps. I was walking down the road when I noticed a rat I stopped to say hello, he said his name was Matt (ME) "I knew it, I recognised you, you're Matt Bellamy!" (RAT) "Don't be so offensive, what the fuck are you tellin' me?" (RAT) "I look nothing like that cunt, i've got a big tail" (RAT) "That doesn't stop his fans sending me his hate-mail" I felt really bad, Muse had ruined his life All he ever wanted was a little ratty wife A peaceful existence away from rock 'n' roll This look-alike business had really taken it's toll Groupies and emos, and real rock fans They all want a piece of this little rat-man I took him on home to try and cheer him up Extra herbs in his roll-ups, extra sugar in his cup This rat was miserable, depressed, it was really rough I decided there and then that this guy had had enough I won't lie, I almost cried, my decision was tough I squashed him with my foot into a little pile of mush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee_and_tv Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Good work Tom, one of your best yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 It only takes one wanker To loose your KnT Banter It only takes one whammy To get your hands all clammy It gets you sweating with desire your love burns like a fire Rock your whammy up and down Rock your whammy all over town Ladies need a man who can not only dive-bomb He can harmonise, he can detune, Use his whammy with aplomb They want a man who knows the fret board, Really good with his fingers You need to know when to shred, And when to let it linger warm her up with your hands Then wack your whammy out Toss off in her face But ask the bitch to pout What's the point of all this? We want our banter back I got side-tracked by women Probably 'cos i'm mid-fap I've got to go finish off Wipe myself on the cat But give us banter back That's a KnT rap Motherfucker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Rap with a message, you just get that on Radio 1... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dramatic Hammer Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 8/10, needs more whammy. Perhaps a little twisty chaos pad wouldn't go amiss? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 8/10, needs more whammy. Perhaps a little twisty chaos pad wouldn't go amiss? Sorry, no prob... Twisting in my pad Showing off my whammy This party's like Kaoss! I say to my girl Tammy "I'd rather a huge mansion" The cheeky fucking bitch!! It's MY twistly kaoss pad I want to scratch her like an itch "yeh it would be nice dear in a huge mansion together" I'm lying through my teeth I should have stuck with that girl heather She liked my twistly pad She loved my massive whammy If only she liked my awful habits We would have been really happy! I like to pull girl's teeth out Until all that's left are gums Much less scratching on your whammy Blow jobs are much more fun Waking up from the roofies They wonder what the fuck's going on There's a cock in their mouth that they can't bite I think this rap's about done. uh. Whammy, whammy! Whammy, whammy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 on fire today. and they say dope ruins creativity... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 olol i'm actually at the apex of my current binge. Going to the states on thursday, can't take anything with me obviously, i'm going with my dad and brothers. This will be the longest i've been without weed in around 18 months so no idea what to expect. Listen to me kids Drugs ain't cool It can happen to anyone Even if you finish school You can get a degree Work a full time job Be in a cool band You're still a drugged-up slob So when you're offered a joint Even though it looks fat Just say no kids That's a KnT rap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Born Lee Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 brother speaks the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 If you're not a weedy geek who uses the net to look tough If you're not a nerdy musician who's gear is never enough If you've never got an erection looking at an amp head You're not from KnT get the fuck off my thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemsy Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 My whammy is totally rocked. Uh! YEAH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 I'm logging out of kit and tab Only for a few days Flying off to the states Ending my drug-haze I'm going to bad-boy records They fucking love my raps I'm going to get my cock out and shout FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP Some classics from the archive to keep you going.... PICS or GTFO You're gay IMO I fucking love your floor Lets start the show: I show you my amp you stop and leer Masturbating over gear we're all fucking queer Playing soggy pedal board The last one has to lick it Our gear means we'll never afford A sh*tty muse ticket That doesn't matter We won't miss it Since they stopped copying rage Muse have really shit-it Can someone show How to get that MOTP sound? Does anyone know? Can it possibly be found? Course it fucking can Search you fucking twat! This is fucking K&T This is the K&T Rap. Yeh, dig it The K&T rap. I wrote a letter to Santa Then wiped my arse on it I wrote him one last year It wasn't worth shit So I wrote a new letter To embody my G.A.S A KnT rap To shove up yo mama's ass So I asked my parents, I asked for a fuzz factory So I can twist it's knobs And make my guitar sound nasty And yo, I asked my parents, I asked for a Kaoss Pad (not 'cos i'm a wannabe) To make my guitar sound mad I asked them for a diezel A VH4 They said "no way!" "We can't afford any more!!" How about that? The fucking cunts I'll never get brutal tone Christmas sucks. I just want my fucking presents I just want my fucking money Bring me twistly guitar gear and bring it in a hurry Since I got my whammy My life's been turned around With a small cock and ugly looks My love-life had run a-ground Now i've got my whammy My head's held proud and high I walk past groups of hot chicks And every one of them sighs I'm like a fucking lynx advert The effect is that extreme Some people like to blend the dry But that wouldn't work with the meme If you get a whammy You can be as cool as me women want to whammy your whammy They want to whammy while you pee If you get a whammy You put your wank-sock in the bin No more fapping, only tapping You're made of epic-win! Since I got my whammy I whammied your mum, your dad, your cat No more bedroom-wanking now That's a KnT rap uh whammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 that's some serious lyrical onslaught right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Quinton Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Get a job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemsy Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Get a job! As a rapper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Get a job! Ha, he's actually at work doing those. That's why he's only on between 9am and 5:30pm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futurellama Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Get a job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dip Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I read the title as Tom's Rape I'm a little disappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Born Lee Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 When I came across the raps of Tom I get restless 'Cos another rap winner wasn't on my guestlist But then I should expect this A game with a lotta dough, a frame with a lotta snow With a name that you gotta know and fame that you gotta show Bitches all bitchin' about their kit and tab, Point 'em in the direction of the Girly Thread 'cos that's where all the bitches at. Hardwood bodies and silver strings Don't mean a thing when you got bling matched with the ho's that you bring, Cos y'all know Gemsy can sing Y'all know my lyrics can dance Y'all know it's hard enough keepin' dip away from that ass Gotta banstick for the sass? Like a lean poet needs grass, Your ass needs a coolin' so where's all the popsicles at? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemsy Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 A brother lol'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 23, 2009 Author Share Posted June 23, 2009 Ha, he's actually at work doing those. That's why he's only on between 9am and 5:30pm.  Fuck yeh I get paid to rap Sit on my ass, go to the bog to fap Do some data manipulation, take some sales calls Write a KnT rap with my shit on the walls  I'm glad to see some participation But i'm not interested in collaboration Post raps in my thread while i'm on vacation? You cheeky fuck I ought to teach you a lesson  I'll leave it 'till tonight when yo mama's home I'll get her to spank you while I give her the bone I'll spunk on your guitar and ruin it's tone Maybe that'll teach you to leave my thread alone  Motherfucker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theanatomyofguns Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 I read the title as Tom's Rape I'm a little disappointed.  But with Tom it's basically the same thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 23, 2009 Author Share Posted June 23, 2009 But with Tom it's basically the same thing  CheddaT will rape your mind through your eyes I'm not a physical rapist, that's all lies At least I'm technically innocent - I said "surprise!!" Or are you s'posed to stop when you hear their cries? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 In the interest of archiving my raps, included below is my rap about Bshuker, a clever guy who took a joke the tinyest bit too seriously... I once knew a guy, I thought he was cool Everytime I read his posts, it was like being at school I took a little time to wind up the motherfucker He rose to the bait, my man bshuker Yo, Don't riiiise to it It's just some dumb trolling by a little shit Just because you normally get away with it y'all don't need to go have an epileptic fit check it, you know fuck all about MIDI your all time favorite artist is a rapper called fiddy You know, you ain't got a clue about racks You're so backward you don't even know how to use a FAX Yo mama, knows more about gear than you She laughs at your rig like you haven't got a clue Yo bshuker, get her to teach you how to tap It'll take you 20 years, yeh that's a KnT rap motherfuckeeer bshukeeeer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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