cheddatom Posted October 6, 2009 Author Share Posted October 6, 2009 oooorrrrwwww yeeeeeaaaaa boooiiiiiiiieeeeee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QueenOfNerds Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 I've got an itch little bitch wanna scratch it? I had so much fun using your mum can you match it? fisted too my elbow I said "hell no she's no lady" she is just a smut loving slut, she's so shady" And on your fireman's hose when it grows come and show it 9 inches or more? I'm your whore I will...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Well, my mama's dead and my heart's as strong as a horse I should have no trouble out-performing a corpse I'm not surprised you got up to your elbow in that cunt She's been in the ground and wrotting for months! Damn girl you're not just flirty, you're dirty, and over thirty, i've suddenly come over all squirty That's right, i'm rolling out the fire-hose for you You say you'll blow it but I don't think for one minute it's true The high-pressure repercussions could tear off your face! Be careful, it's a warning, i'm not just putting you in your place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QueenOfNerds Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Nice. I must ponder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 The longer you ponder the fonder you become of Cheddatom 'cos he's stronger and knows how to make you come With a fondle of your fondent and a smack of your bum Now even your teeth are tingling, wasn't that fun? Admit it bitch this battle was pointless Just a thin veil to hide virtual coitus I'll keep rapping until you have to confess to wanting Cheddatom in a state of undress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QueenOfNerds Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 The longer you ponder the fonder you become of Cheddatom 'cos he's stronger and knows how to make you come With a fondle of your fondent and a smack of your bum Now even your teeth are tingling, wasn't that fun? Admit it bitch this battle was pointless Just a thin veil to hide virtual coitus I'll keep rapping until you have to confess to wanting Cheddatom in a state of undress Well duh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 Is that a confession? Let me teach you a lesson about men, you have to spell it out with a big pen You can play with your hair pout your lips, he won't care he's a boy you have to tell him that you are his toy So dress up all slutty Talk to him all smutty Get him drunk Until you've got your lips around his trunk he won't have a clue that he can have you Take my advice Ladies, tell him at least twice Tell him "fuck me, I want you to fuck me" "take me all around my house on one big fucking fuck-spree" Tell him "fuck me, I want you to fuck me" "take me all around my house on one big fucking fuck-spree" Then he might get it If not don't sweat it Don't fret He is controlled by his cock don't forget Get him to come round Show him your sexy gown Dance a bit Watch his cock grow then go play with it He might be shocked He might think he's being mocked Say he's huge Put on some rouge Don't be a prude You'll never lose! Tell him "fuck me, I want you to fuck me" "take me all around my house on one big fucking fuck-spree" Tell him "fuck me, I want you to fuck me" "take me all around my house on one big fucking fuck-spree" Uncle Tom's sex advice column, soon to appear in Hello magazine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QueenOfNerds Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Are you telling me to tart up for my boyfriend or you? Won't I get my head kicked in by your kickboxing girlfriend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 It's advice on men in general, but seeing as i've never seen you that mightn't be the best idea. What if you're old and wrinkly!! Eugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QueenOfNerds Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Doesn't stop you with yo dead mamma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 Oh no you di ent! That was flippant! If you don't rap your mama jokes it makes you look a dick end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 Ok, i'll admit, it my raps have dried up I'm really trying to spit it but I just come out with muck Instead of original content I just react to other raps I'm ashamed that i'm so lame i've got to make a come back It started as a laugh to rap about guitar geeks and stuff Pedals and racks, amps and cabs, then some people got e-tough They had to take me on at my own game and kinda won They got owned by my raps but then my originality was done Sitting in my office now i'm totally on my own Talking to almost no-one I actually ignore my phone Often I can't help but think that if only i'd known my raps would dry up, my mind come un-stuck, my reputation blown! I would have done things differently Done my job less competantly Get paid off with redundancy And sat back on my ass 'Cos staring at this data Everyday my lunch feels later My eyes feel like two craters And i'm slowly getting fat Oh well it's home time now, i'm going for a beer and a smoke Hopefully i'll get to plow my girlfriend, I like a weekend poke That's unlikely, not that we row, i'm just not sexually attractive When she first saw me it was like "wow" but then she remembered her plastic. That fucking rampant rabbit toy is the bane of my existence Longer, fatter, harder, softer, vibrating penis pretence I should melt it down into a crown to wear as a sign of bitterness I'd wear it and just my gown all around town to protest at the chasteness That'll do for tonight i'm going out to get pissed I've got thirty quid to my name and tomorrow it'll be missed But beer and smoke and friends will slowly take the pain away Have a good weekend you KnTs i'll be back Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QueenOfNerds Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I sit in my little office all day alone and I do what I can to ignore the phone I am just rendering takes no effort at all so I have played a game all day, so not cool. I could have been doing some work of my own so many skills that I should hone should've worked on my showreel or gone for a swim instead I just wait for the work to roll in. Why have we gone all emo today? I just wrote this poem so I could say you're not alone we're all lazy as fuck. (and with your weekend shag I wish you good luck) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaveTheHostages! Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I just ate a motherfucking sandwich thats my rapping done for the day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 I'm back I'm here to blow your mind with just one rap My last few submissions show I need a change of tack A new track, a new plan of attack, it's out with the weed and in with the smack That's right motherfuckers, i'm now on heroin It started as a fad-diet 'cos yo mama wants me thin Now i've lost my weight, it's great, but I can't go back to gin Injecting this shit into my veins is spaced out "epic win" I feel so dizzy it's like serious concussion I knew I shouldn't have taken that second white russian It's yo mama forcing it on me despite the repercussions She's a mental bitch though, can't even hold a discussion She loves date rape She wears spandex and a cape She gets you all fucked up then shoves her pussy in your face If you're lucky you'll suffocate It stinks worse than old-skate Her flaps dangle round your ears pull them hard to seal your fate In the morning there's a sharp contrast She even makes you breakfast She says it's all in the past She can't beleive how long you last! She's aghast at your mast all her lovers have been surpassed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 haha, welcome back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 Phill with two ls, one for each of his bitch-tits His mama's obese but he still makes her legs look like bread sticks Once upon a time he auditioned to be the michelin man He was laughed off the stage, they told him to put away the frying pan "You're too fat, you've got way too many tyres!!" Too many tyres to be the michelin man? He must be about to expire. Before you go to your grave Phill, i've got to let you know Your's is deffinitely the best mattocaster copy, honestly, fo sho apart from musecaster's. heh, did you see this one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 haha yeah i vaguely remember that one. i'm surprised you managed to find it though. oh it wasn't in K&T it was on the page before... derrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted November 5, 2009 Author Share Posted November 5, 2009 deeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr Phill's retarded His intellect discarded Detsroyed when my raps caused his brain to be bombarded I regarded His sexuality unguarded Since we went clubbing and he pulled out his gay ID when carded A bonafide poof His worst nightmare is a muff If you showed him a burberry cap he'd think that meant you were tough So if you're buff And you like a bit of rough Phill will fuck you silly until you're screaming "please, enough!!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 deeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr Phill's retarded His intellect discarded Detsroyed when my raps caused his brain to be bombarded I regarded His sexuality unguarded Since we went clubbing and he pulled out his gay ID when carded A bonafide poof His worst nightmare is a muff If you showed him a burberry cap he'd think that meant you were tough So if you're buff And you like a bit of rough Phill will fuck you silly until you're screaming "please, enough!!". That started strong, but by the end i found myself disappointed. I bet it's not the first time that's happened with you is it Tom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted November 5, 2009 Author Share Posted November 5, 2009 pwned I think I just got owned! Crashing down with gravity philled with my inediquacy I groan who am I to moan? I know that my depravity has left a gaping cavity the size of my bone In yo mama's corpse The coroner thought it was a horse they had to call in inspector morse on the phone This is a gift it's not a loan Print me off and read it while you fap to me at home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 fuck you mother fucker and your fucking censor-shit I can swear as much as I want but I still have to suck your dick? I heard a rumor you're a kiddy-groomer with no sense of humor You don't have to chastise me just 'cos I'm not a bull-shit consumer That's not a tumor? Oh, it's your penis. That retarded growth would give a heart attack to a hygienist I can't tell if that's mould or if it's pubic hair Are you supposed to have little green shoots sprouting there? Put it this way, at least you'll never be starved You could plant some crops in your crotch and world hunger would be immediately halved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 I'm not annoying, you're just jealous 'cos i'm employing, yo mama's lips and i'm enjoying her amazing sucking skills. While she sucks, she's toying, very soon i'll be deploying enough sperm to leave her buoying in a huge puddle of muck. I don't want to be nasty, but she needs vaginoplasty, it looks like a cornish pasty or a halibut's gills. It smells like rotten gammon or gone off atlantic salmon no wonder there's been cock-famine if I went near I'd up-chuck. Just oral's fine, she's still happy, in her fragranced adult nappy, she keeps it on else I get snappy, obviously 'cos of the stench. I sealed it on with gaffa tape, the antithesis of normal rape, I still violate her face until I make her gag and wretch. It's all fine and consenting, it's just that she's lamenting the loss of the pensioner who was renting, a room in her cunt. When he died he fermented, but he had rented and it totally dented her monthly income. This explains her current position, gagging like a trooper on a mission, sucking for britain while she gets pissed on, what a hard working whore. Even when i'm done, and you can't see her face for all the cum, she sticks her finger up my bum, desperate for more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Today I was presented with a predickament Do I fuck my girlfriend for her Christmas present? I'm an expert lover, once described as pleasent But i'll have nothing for her if the bitch won't give consent! All girls have rape fantasy, there's no way she'd resent me for tying her down and fucking her until i'm spent. I think that's right anyway, or maybe 99 percent. One in a hundred odds for her present being torment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fbastidas Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Oversensitive people have made me apprehensive People that can't take a joke, they're being reprehensive They make me pensive, I don't want to offend I've tried making that clear but all they do is condescend. So what now? No more yo mama jokes I can't say I f*cked her even if it IS a hoax I need a smoke, I can't take this frustration Rapping about yo mama is a form of relaxation It's OK, I don't need to be distasteful In fact my use of expletives could be described as wasteful It's disgraceful, I swear far too much And now all my school-kid fans are far too out of touch Yes, that's right, the fan-base of my rhymes Are underrage, unsupervised, victims of our times They read my lines, and they're totally disgusted They've never studied violence or war, they're all maladjusted In case you can't tell, i'm being very sarcastic I'm slightly bitter only 'cos i've always been bombastic enthusiastic, and now I feel i'm being called a twat Sorry if I offended you, that's a KnT rap. Cool. I hadn't use the forum in a long time. You haven't lost the flavor. Groovy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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