Tom's Raps

[gunnerthekiwi]

Yo, I wanna show some love for my man Cheddatom

All you fuckers know this cat is the bomb

And hell no

I don't want to hijack his thread

Just wanna earn some MC cred

Please Chedda

Don't pwn my arse when you get back

Yo motherfuckers, here's my Kit & Tab rap

 

Thanks to Cheddatom

I'm no longer concerned

With my delay's reverse function

That shit's for nerds

Now all I care about

Is gangsta rhyme structures

Gangsta rhyme cred

Kit & Tab mothers

 

Hey fuck it

My rhymes - they really suck dick

What the hell was I thinking?

My flows are plain shit

Moral of the story - don't fuck with Cheddatom

Try and play his game - end up looking like a cock

 

His rhymes are concise

His flows are damn tight

He's a bonafide hussla

Even if he's rice white

His pitch shifter's a Whammy

Mine is a Behringer

That's it, game over

Cheddatom's well better

 

I tried and epic failed

Cause my rhymes just weren't fat

Brap brap motherfucker

That's my Kit & Tab rap

[cheddatom]

yo gunner the kiwi

your shit aint bad

but rapping's not just for christmas

it's not just a fad!

This is KnT rapping

It's no fucking joke

Watch this mother fucker

You're going up in smoke

 

You come onto my thread

Express your love for me

Making me look gay

And think you get off scot-free?

 

You're a KnT regular?

I fucking need a drink

What kind of an epic-moron

Would ever dare to think

reverse delay isn't cool?!!

It's the only type I need!!

I'll put it in my feedback loop

To make your ears bleed

 

We're not nerds in KnT

We're rockers and we're geeks

We play gigs, we get laid

We know how to speak 1337

 

This isn't "gangsta rap" you tit

This is rhyming with aplomb

When have you ever seen me rapping

about how my Hummer's the bomb?

 

Fuck it, you said it all yourself

Your rhymes "- they really suck dick"

You know it's shit and still post it here

It makes me fucking sick

 

Maybe you need some inspiration

Try injecting a load of smack!!

Bash your head against a wall or something?

*yawn*, that's a KnT rap.

[Sir Quinton]

You don't remember me

And I've forgotten too

But it's not so long ago

That I fist fucked you

 

Strangers in the night

See the world in black and white

Lost sould and the burning blud

Forgotten sons in the brotherhood

Twisted values and an Evil9

My warriors are the rejected kind

 

LETS FIST AGAIN

LETS FIST AGAIN

 

Start to like it when I hear it flap

But you no me, I've no clap

It was your mistake

When I saw you hesitate

I shoved my clenched fist

ight up to your prostrate

 

SHIT ON MY KUCKLES

PAIN UP THE ARSE FOR YOU

[Mandy_]

<3

 

i'll write a glorious rap later.

[cheddatom]

wibble

 

Yawn.

 

When you've got something to say

That ain't completely gay

That shows a trace of wit

Instead of a pile of shit

When you've got a decent rhyme

Or just one decent line

When you can use your head

You're welcome back on my thread

[Mandy_]

Yawn.

 

When you've got something to say

That ain't completely gay

That shows a trace of wit

Instead of a pile of shit

When you've got a decent rhyme

Or just one decent line

When you can use your head

You're welcome back on my thread

not bad.

[cheddatom]

When it comes to rhyming names

You're name's not exactly handy

It feels like it'd take an eternity to write a rap about Mandy

 

Oh wait, not it won't

'cos you partonised my shit

If you hadn't noticed I get quite defensive of it

 

That's 'cos yo mama's a ho

And yo daddy's not around

He's out fucking all the other hos about in town

 

I will not take criticism

Your notes are filed in the bin

If you come on my thread you'd better be posting nothing but "epic win"

 

So go cry to your ho of a mummy

No doubt she'll administer a slap

She's tasted my whammy, she fucking loved it, that's a KnT rap.

 

 

 

 

EDIT: You will have to think this one quite fast otherwise the rythm just doesn't groove.

[Mandy_]

i wasn't being patronizing.

i really do love your rhymes.

[cheddatom]

Mandy's upset

'cos of my trash talkin'

Bitch if you don't like it

You better get walkin'

'cos around here

you' gotta have a sense of humour

I wouldn't hang around

If you can't laugh at a tumor

 

 

Mandy, for the first time in my life yesterday, a MAN touched my balls. A MAN. You have no idea how I feel.

[ZachDeLaRock]

wow dude your raps are pretty good, I learned to rap while I was schooling in the hood

I love rock music unlike most of my friends, they all beat me up when i played them "the bends"

that's why i love rage, the perfect combination, rapping and rock brings this sense of elation

i just dont get that with muse or radiohead, thats why i'm so surprised to see a rapping thread

on the muse messageboard, its pretty fresh yo, we need more contributions, your turn, go!

[Fbastidas]

You only kno' how to cook your rhymes

While reading a book on your hips

Sorry, these rhymes ain't a crime

Cause' I'm out-rapping you without any tricks

 

Think bout it cheddatom

Cause' I'm making you explode like a bomb

And maybe I ain't got no whammy

But my raps could sure win a grammy

 

biotchhh

[gunnerthekiwi]

You only kno' how to cook your rhymes

While reading a book on your hips

Sorry, these rhymes ain't a crime

Cause' I'm out-raping you without any tricks

 

Think bout it cheddatom

Cause' I'm making you explode like a bomb

And maybe I ain't got no whammy

But my raps could sure win a grammy

 

biotchhh

 

In reply ...

 

lol, I think this thread is for rapping in English

Go start your own thread for spitting this pigeon shit

You'd need a modicum of intellect to beat me in a battle

So why don't you go back home to your pram and your rattle?

Oh yeh, that's right, I saw you at yo' moms'

She's a fat mother fucker but her throat is the bomb

I love it when she chokes on a little bit of sick

I get a tingle from the stomach acid on the end my dick

You said you're out raping but I think you mean you're fapping?

Either that or you haven't a clue how to spell the word rapping

Without a whammy you will never be able to construct an intelligent rap

So suck my dick, yo' mamo too, that's a KnT rap.

 

[Fbastidas]

Man, you think your raps sound straight from the ghetto

Schemer, know your path, you're another Jared Leto !

And no, this ain't no battle, Cheddatom

You're decieving 'cause you don't know my Mom

And if you knew her, why don't you tell me her name?

You're just making this up 'cause your raps are so LAME

And yeah, I do know how to spell the word rapping

You're jealous because even with that I'm making you pop

STOP! I don't need to use any insult in my rap

But yours?, It's a depending bunch of crap !

Cheddatom, There's no dick here

I can pick the scattered words in my head

And make my elaborate raps sound clear

Oh, by the way, your momma's calling cheddatom

Go away and play your whammy,

Go away and construct your insults, your KnT crap

Even when there's nobody left, you'll remember my rap.

 

RESPECT

[gunnerthekiwi]

Man, you think your raps sound straight from the ghetto

Schemer, know your path, you're another Jared Leto !

And no, this ain't no battle, Cheddatom

You're decieving 'cause you don't know my Mom

And if you knew her, why don't you tell me her name?

You're just making this up 'cause your raps are so LAME

And yeah, I do know how to spell the word rapping

You're jealous because even with that I'm making you pop

STOP! I don't need to use any insult in my rap

But yours?, It's a depending bunch of crap !

Cheddatom, There's no dick here

I can pick the scattered words in my head

And make my elaborate raps sound clear

Oh, by the way, your momma's calling cheddatom

Go away and play your whammy,

Go away and construct your insults, your KnT crap

Even when there's nobody left, you'll remember my rap.

 

RESPECT

 

Shit just got real.

 

Lol, yeh, that's fucking memorable

Like yo mama's blow jobs are terrible

They're not, she's fucking skilled

It's the only thing that stopped you from getting killed

Seriously, go buy a dictionary

I hope your dick's bigger than your vocabulary

You're telling me to get out of MY thread?

I don't even think Bono's got that big of a head!

You cocky little shit should shut the fuck up now

else i'll have to do it for you, i'll show you how

first, you've got to tie them down

Their face in some shit, their ass standing proud

Next, you've got to lube up your dick

If you ain't got lube, use your victim's sick

The less the better, you want to make it hurt

Then aim at their face when you're ready to squirt

Wait, we're not finished yet

I'll gouge out your eyes and feed them to your pet

Now it's time for skull fucking: my balls, your chin

All that's left is a mash of brains and sperm within

So give up trying, go buy a new sombrero hat

GTFO my thread, that's a KnT rap.

 

/battle

 

/battle indeed. Bitch .

[Sir Quinton]

Yawn.

 

When you've got something to say

That ain't completely gay

That shows a trace of wit

Instead of a pile of shit

When you've got a decent rhyme

Or just one decent line

When you can use your head

You're welcome back on my thread

 

Now hold on, Cheddar Dong

Let me tell you where you're going wrong

You got to big for your boots.

Need to get back to the musical roots.

 

So don't be fooled 'cause you rhymes are whack.

You work in a shop, and your mum smokes crack

Your ladies tits succumbed to gravity

have you seen the size of her vaginal cavity? *we call it the rave cave*.

To top it off your only friend is a stick

So can't you see you're just a bitch with a dick.

[New Born Lee]

Fuck your own asses and shit that fuck

throw your own shit in a pool of sharks and try your luck

Suck on a cock that's strutted slack down the hardest streets in my 'hood

and fucked a million fuckin' apple bottoms and still got wood

Get AIDs a thousand times and go sit on a glock

that's got my hand on it and shoot till you got blood in your sock

Add that to the million fuckin' times I fuckin' garrott your face

With a steel fence while my current bitch sprays your blinkers with mace

After that I'll just sit you in front of a tv with Peter and Jordan til you die of boredom and that's what I'll write in your post-mortem

Cuz I'm a doctor a lawyer yeah I'm in fuckin' control

It's just too fuckin' bad you had to go and mess with me, ho!

[SaveTheHostages!]

Wow i used to think they were legendary

Cheddatom's raps made him an MC

but now, rhyme after rhyme

they seem to be a twisted crime

 

after all, he won a rap election

but now they all seem to be self protection

probably 'cos he's coverin' his erection

 

other playas in this thread

seem to be racing ahead

Sir quinton has his head in the game

he makes Tom look lame

you think he might have left by now

Fbastidas rhymes hit him with a 'POW'

 

that Kiwi seems to have run him down

the gunner left him with a frown

chedda doesn't know what to say

how 'bout "I think its retirement day"

 

If Tom can claw his way back

after he loses his virginity

with a pre-pubescent fap

i may respect him some more

but muck it up and you'll look like a whore!

 

watcha gonna say now Tom?

 

whatcha gonna

[cheddatom]

I've never been subjected to reading such drivel

Shit rappers all around, i'm stuck in the fucking middle

Why don't you go suck ma whizzle nizzle?

fo shizzle dizzle, fo shizzle dizzle dizzle

 

Your three line verses ain't got no groove

Why you trying so hard, you've got nothing to prove

We can all see you're the best of the lot

You really know how to work your tongue on my cock

 

I can't beleive you like that twat Sir Quim

His raps are as lame as your cock is thin

with lines like "your only friend is a stick"

You know Tim Westwood would be fucking sick

 

If you knew how to read, you'd see I can't post

That's why Kiwi posted my rap that made Fbastidas toast

I won that battle, and i'll dominate this one

Yeh, that's right bitch, my name's CHEDDATOM

 

Why the fuck I would want your respect ain't exactly clear

Your mother hasn't even been round to see you this year

Your own fucking mother would rather give me head

Than be at home to tuck you up in your bed

 

You know there's no point in crying just 'cos your mum's a ho

I splattered her face with cum like a painter's radio

She loves it when I get my cock and poke her in the eye

And then we watch that video where the little girl made you cry

 

We laugh so hard it hurts to watch your utter humiliation

I begged her to put it on youtube for the benefit of the nation

She wouldn't, so I killed her, write about that you little twat

You'll need to do better to beat me when it comes to KnT raps

[cheddatom]

I wrote the above during my exile from .mu in reply to the shit rap above.

 

 

ooo yeah, i'm back from my ban

I haven't got money and I haven't got a plan

But I know i'll always have my own back

I can always depend on my ability to rap

 

Mother Fucker!!!!

 

brap brap brap brap

[cheddatom]

Oversensitive people have made me apprehensive

People that can't take a joke, they're being reprehensive

They make me pensive, I don't want to offend

I've tried making that clear but all they do is condescend.

 

So what now? No more yo mama jokes

I can't say I f*cked her even if it IS a hoax

I need a smoke, I can't take this frustration

Rapping about yo mama is a form of relaxation

 

It's OK, I don't need to be distasteful

In fact my use of expletives could be described as wasteful

It's disgraceful, I swear far too much

And now all my school-kid fans are far too out of touch

 

Yes, that's right, the fan-base of my rhymes

Are underrage, unsupervised, victims of our times

They read my lines, and they're totally disgusted

They've never studied violence or war, they're all maladjusted

 

In case you can't tell, i'm being very sarcastic

I'm slightly bitter only 'cos i've always been bombastic

enthusiastic, and now I feel i'm being called a twat

Sorry if I offended you, that's a KnT rap.

[cheddatom]

I can't let go of my rage, I need to turn this page,

I'm walking around all day in a twisted crimson haze

Old grannies are driving, chavs are always fighting,

They've been fucking lucky so far it's only MY lip i've been biting

I should steal a tank, like I envisage when I wank

Run them over, blow them up, make them walk the plank

What they need is a raping, their wounds left gaping

I bet you think I watch to much Saw and my words are just aping

Well it's honestly not, I want to see you all rot

If you've been trained in psychology you'll know i've lost the plot

I need to sate my thirst, but who do I rape first?

Oh, that's right, I know who, they're the fucking worst!!

micro fucking soft, they can fuck right off!!

Loose ME 2 hours of work just to update my fucking laptop??

You mother fucking twats!! I need that data back!!

I'm going for a lie down, that's a KnT rap.

[cheddatom]

I've been working on lots of data today tying up my processor, so in the meantime I wrote a rap...

 

There's a lack of rapping talent here

And that shit just ain't cool

So settle down, listen up

I'm about to take you to school

That's right my knt kiddies

Here's your rapping masterclass

Get it right, and soon enough

You'll be owning cheddatom's ass

 

First you've got to feel the groove

construct in your head a beat

Make sure it's greasy, thick and bold

Guarantee those dancing feat

 

Next you need some inspiration

to write down your first rhyme

I personally use some special herbs

I'm not talking about thyme

You can't rely on this alone

You need to be a fiend

Look at life and laugh along

Use the stories you have gleaned

 

For instance walking yesterday

Through stoke-on-trent town centre

I happened across a scallywag

and joined him in his venture

Down an alley we dragged her

This saggy wrotten pensioner

we added her to our pile of corpses

to become a permanent fixture

The stench of flesh and semen

made me wrech and vomit

The funniest thing was later on

the next victim slipped on it

 

Sorry kiddies, back at school, lesson number three:

Don't tie yourself to one form, let your mind run free

Just 'cos one groove works for verse one, doesn't mean it's set

You can change it, mix it up, or even better yet...

 

Take a tip from Snoop

Do do do doop

Make your own words up

Keep it loose

Let out your juice

Shoobeedeedee Shoobeedeedee wap wap

Just remember to rhyme

Keep your beats in time

And don't let your audience loose interest

Delete your shit lines

A shit rap is a crime

Make them think your cock is the biggest

 

That's it for now kids

The rest is up to you

She me your best rhymes

Show us what you can do

 

So if there is another brother who can insult my mother while he can keep it clever rhyming in a rap

Then show us my rapping brother, I fucked your ugly mother while you were looking at child porn having a fap

You haven't got the skills to give the girls their thrills that's why I wear your girlfriend's head on my cock

I cut her some new gills so now she doesn't get killed while she's gagging on it and begging me to stop

[SaveTheHostages!]

You think you can say izzle like the dogg

you've been askin for a motherfucking flog

I can't believe that they let you outta yo home

Its high time you go to the place ET phoned

People let you walk around and pretend your black

When everyone else knows your weak in the sack

Not whites in general just you on your own

Just before you go on a racist moan

you let your side down so let it sink in

there ain't a chance you'll get a fucking win

 

Maybe you shouldn't have been like your momma

she sucks my dick whilst you stay in all summer

but now your on the street following her trade

Whilst I been working and got myself made!

When you seem me the envy falls inside

You try and work up a false sense of pride

You catch me up and try to take me on

But you ain't cool enough for the Rasta Mon!

 

I used to know a man like yourself

He had problems with mental health

He tried to make it big time like me

But my rhymes lost his sense of rationality

So if you wanna keep your head

You better stay wankin in bed

A man said "God save his soul"

But why won't you go die in a hole!

 

(your face)

[cheddatom]

wibble wobble

 

Lol, dude, at least you tried

But reading your rap, I died a little inside

I'm not saying you're miles off, but you're fucking far wide

I can't beleive you posted that, where is your pride?

 

Oh, that's right, down the shitter with my leavings

My depucilation of your mother left you sick-dreaming

You saw my sperm on her tits and your life lost all meaning

You saw the turd on her face and like a girl started screaming.

 

So yeh, maybe I don't get out of the house much

Maybe it is sad that I love yo momma's touch

But basically, no one else's throat feels that lush

So stop whining, you won't find a cock in your bush

Yep, that's right, that's a pube you're looking at

There's no way you'll be fucking anyone with that

Let alone yo momma, she needs to fill her twat

That's why she loves my monster-cock, that's why she loves my raps.

 

I agree I can be a little crazy

I wouldn't say insane, but I am a little hazy

I like to space out while I look at a daisy

But just 'cos i'm a stoner doesn't make me lazy

 

I work everyday, I work 9 to 5!

I'm working my ass off to keep your mum alive

Since I took out her liver it costs shit loads to survive

Dialasis, tranfusions, this shit makes me strive

 

So i'm a hard working hard living rapping white boy

You can try to wind me up but I see through your every ploy

You can try to hide your blatant racism by trying to be coy

But frankly even my kid could see it, and he thinks my cock's a toy!

 

So Savethe hostages, if that is your real name

Thanks for rapping with me and joining in the game

A lack of original content was making this thread lame

But could you try a bit harder just to make it a little less tame?

 

I could do with a proper punch, instead of a little tap

You remember how I smacked you while you were laying on my lap?

This is the kind of attitude you need, don't give me anymore crap

Let's hear the best you can do, I hope it's better than my rap.

[SaveTheHostages!]

Some times I think your too sensitive

Lashing out at anything, afraid to live

But not just that my mum thinks it too

10 seconds in her grave and she made you spew

 

And anyway you calling me racist

I target you not white people, face it!

Maybe its time that you learn to think

But a shit is all I seem to give!

 

Maybe its time that you turned around

Don't let no tears touch the ground

Maybe its time that you improved your skills

I've seen better things from people on happy pills

 

Maybe you are just a natural sweater

But your rhymes look like something in a thank you letter

So now that you finished mopping the floor

Go spend your last quid on motherfuckin' whore!

 

You may think that your job is cool

But i've never seen such a miserable fool

Cos I do what I love and I love what I do

Thats including your momma too!