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This is from my year 12 coursework for English Language. The brief was to write an introduction to a story on any theme you wanted:

 

Felka stepped out onto the metallic platform. She felt increasingly nervous, as she should do. It was natural to feel some form of anxiety when it was one’s first step into the magnificent black abyss that was, essentially, outer space. She took a deep breath and found her place among the other crew members, two of whom had already lit up a tainted smelling cigarette. The security warden gave them a malicious stare, but the two men decided to ignore him (as well as raise a couple of fingers at him when he wasn’t looking). After all, everyone had their way of dealing with interstellar travel. Even Felka felt the growing need to dig into the half melted chocolate bar that was snugly tucked away inside her winter jacket. Later, she thought to herself.

With a thrust of the ship’s engines, they were on their way to whatever extraordinary journey the stars had in store for them. After a while, Felka felt relaxed and familiar in her new surroundings. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror opposite her and the hooded gentleman in the next seat. Not bad, she thought to herself, although her once preened, aquamarine hair was now adopting the classic “out of bed” look. Her cobalt blue eyes stared back. Exactly like her sister, God rest her soul. Then another pair of eyes caught her attention. Dazzling green met hers. It was the hooded man next to her, sharing her moment in the mirror’s reflection. He smiled at Felka and gave a friendly wink. Felka lowered her head, blushed and smiled to herself. Just as she turned to speak to him, a self-important female voice came flooding through the ship’s intercom;

“Crew and guests may now undo their safety harnesses and are free to walk on the ship’s decks. Have a pleasant trip and thank you for choosing to fly on Stellar For Infinity, the only space craft in the Novae Region that offers safety, a warm welcome and refinement.”

The intercom beeped and faded out.

Felka laughed quietly to herself. The ship was hardly refined or had given the impression of a warm welcome, and as for the heating? Well, it was scarcely humid enough to remove her beloved winter jacket from her frozen body. Felka looked sulkily out of the pocket-sized window on her left-hand side and gazed vaguely at the black scenery. All of a sudden a strange hand grasped hers. It was the man who had been sitting next to her. Felka gazed at his face which was now visible without his hood. Her mind went blank for a nanosecond, then he said abruptly; “Let’s get out of here, at least until they turn the heating on anyway.” Felka nodded dimly and gave an absent-minded smile.

“I’m Ethan, by the way.” He gave a fleeting grin and they were off into the darkness.

 

He led Felka down a dark, narrow corridor and after a short while, they entered a large, empty room with steel walls. She swiftly felt a sharp chill upon her skin and she hugged herself. Her vision was restricted due to the lack of artificial light, but suddenly her fears were completely erased from her mind. The sight that met Felka’s eyes was so great and magnificent, that she almost forgot to breathe. On the other side of the massive panel of glass that was separating them from the oxygen-free landscape, was a colossal wave of interstellar cloud. Bright, intense stars, millions of miles away, glimmered with powerful colours of white and blue. Felka pressed her face and hands gently against the cool glass. The soft radiance of the cloud illuminated her skin in a pink haze as she looked in awe at the marvellous spectacle.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

The unexpected sound of Ethan’s voice startled Felka. He gave an apologetic smile and walked over to her.

“Make’s you forget about everything,” he continued, "like nothing else matters.” He stared inquisitively at the crimson sky and sighed slightly.

Suddenly, the piercing sound of an alarm rang through the passageway behind them. They were plunged into complete darkness, except for a mild ray of flashing red light coming from the access strip behind them.

“Is that a bad sound?” presumed Felka, trying to shout above the alarm.

Ethan looked upon her with apprehensive eyes, and nodded slowly.

 

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Note: This is the story I wrote for my trial school cert. English paper. I’ve changed virtually nothing except slight grammar nitpicks, it’s all pretty much as it was in the exam. I’m really quite proud of it, I’m aiming to turn it into a longer novel type project. Hope you enjoy, this will be the first real bit of writing I’ve put up here. It’s longish. The first line is apparently from “A Fine White Dust” by Cynthia Rylant (we had to use one of the first lines they gave us as a stimulus). And yes I wrote it about risotto…

 

 

 

 

I’ve got these little bitty pieces of broken ceramic in my hands, and some of them fine white dust is coming off them, like chalk dust, mixing with the ruined risotto that’s lying at my feet, steaming and sneering.

 

“That’ll teach you to try and eat me,” it says as it bleeds through my grey shag carpet, the creamy red sauce congealing on each thread like that fake blood they use in films.

 

I ignore its comments, still fingering the remains of my shattered bowl. Die, risotto, die.

 

 

“You really can’t get anything right can you?” the risotto jeers, still creeping out onto my floor. Maybe it will seep through the too-thick carpet, soak into the floorboards underneath and fester for months in a mildewy lump. Maybe it will get so mouldy under there that one day, when I walk over to answer the door, the floor will crack and I’ll come crashing through and fall into the lap of Mrs McMahon who lives below me. Maybe we’ll watch The Bill together and she’ll give me risotto. Maybe.

 

“Shut up, risotto,” I say through gritted teeth, dropping the shards of bowl into its stupid smug face. I storm past it into the kitchen and look for something to clean up the mess with. If the risotto had been in any way GRATEFUL for me sparing it’s life, lazy thing could have cleaned itself up.

 

There’s nothing else to eat in my fridge, as usual.

 

“Bite me!” snarls the risotto blob on the floor.

 

“Believe me, I would have!” I call from the kitchen. Stupid pasta…

 

I stop and consider my situation. It’s Friday night, I’m home alone in my empty flat, and I’m talking to, no, having a heated argument with my stuffed up dinner. And I laugh, in fact, I laugh so hard, so long, I barely remember why I started. I laugh until there are tears streaming down my crumpled face, until I double with wild cackling. Then I stop, partly because this really isn’t that funny and partly because I’ve just found a small piece of ceramic in my right index finger. Ouch.

 

From the bin, I hear the risotto giggle.

 

I sit down at my desk, I’m sullen and hungry. The sheets of lined paper sit ominously in front of me, the shoddy keyboard sits to the left, virtually unplayed for nearly two weeks. I pick up a pen and sigh. It’s like this every evening. I sit at the same desk, pick up the same pen, play the same three notes and wait for something inspiring. It never happens.

 

Ever.

 

Nothing, in six weeks.

 

Just the same thing again and again. Pen, play, wait. Pen, play, wait.

 

And wait.

 

AND, as I don’t get played if I don’t write music, that darn risotto was my last meal.

 

There’s always a reason I can’t write, why the words turn to dust in my mouth, or the melodies wilt and crumble in feeble attempts at being original. Tonight, it’s because I have something else in my head. The same line over and over and over, something about boys liking girls to like boys who like girls or nudity or, well, whatever. Curse you Blur. Why did you have to write songs that were so catchy? Why can’t I write songs like that? Why can;t I find the sound I want, why don’t the words sound right, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

 

Five minutes later I’m lying in bed, as usual, resigning myself to another fruitless night. But this time I feel different. I think about my problem: I can’t find my sound. I have no money. I haven’t left the flat in nearly a month. And I can’t until that sound has been caught, until there’s are words and elusive squiggles on paper and cash in pocket.

 

But listen.

 

What if the sound I’m looking for isn’t here, isn’t in my head or in my flat. What if it’s… Out There? What if what I need to write my music is experience, is colour and lights and people, or cars or noises or fumes…

 

I need to get out.

 

My mind is buzzing as I tie up my shoes, put on a jacket. My heart races like I’m leaving the country, not my flat.

 

Maybe I’ll find what I need outside tonight. Maybe not. Maybe a bus will come racing down the street and smash me to pieces when I cross the road. Maybe my dinner will jump out of the bin as I’m leaving and try to assault me in a sticky, risotto-y way.

 

Maybe.

 

But nothing’s ever going to happen to me, ever, unless I leave this shambled apartment. Tonight.

 

 

 

 

So yeah. I'd love some feedback possibly?

 

I feel like my writing style has become something like Chuck Palahniuk combined with Kurt Vonnegut to create something not nearly even one hundredth as good as either...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Mind Broken, Heart Fucked

 

I can’t tell you all the things you’ve done to me

Driving me insane with your inability

To see me for more than I am

And that I loved you when you touched my hand

 

What do you have to hide?

We can love, even if we have to lie

Why did I have no luck?

You left me mind broken and heart fucked!

 

Your eyes are a forest I get lost in,

Your smile is the sun in my sky

I long to feel your pressure upon my skin

Why couldn’t we have given it a try?

 

You left me dying inside!

In my dreams is where I like to hide.

I feel like I have been hit by a truck

Yeah, you left me mind broken and heart fucked!

 

So tell me what it is that I did wrong!

I’ll fix everything that did you harm.

I will love you and wait for the day

You come up to me and say

 

“I love you as well

I’m sorry I put you through this hell.

Let’s go make out in my backseat

You mean everything to me”

 

But that is just a dream.

You are exactly what you seem

A heartless bastard with the guts

To leave people mind broken and heart fucked!

 

 

 

:$

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Mind Broken, Heart Fucked

 

I can’t tell you all the things you’ve done to me

Driving me insane with your inability

To see me for more than I am

And that I loved you when you touched my hand

 

What do you have to hide?

We can love, even if we have to lie

Why did I have no luck?

You left me mind broken and heart fucked!

 

Your eyes are a forest I get lost in,

Your smile is the sun in my sky

I long to feel your pressure upon my skin

Why couldn’t we have given it a try?

 

You left me dying inside!

In my dreams is where I like to hide.

I feel like I have been hit by a truck

Yeah, you left me mind broken and heart fucked!

 

So tell me what it is that I did wrong!

I’ll fix everything that did you harm.

I will love you and wait for the day

You come up to me and say

 

“I love you as well

I’m sorry I put you through this hell.

Let’s go make out in my backseat

You mean everything to me”

 

But that is just a dream.

You are exactly what you seem

A heartless bastard with the guts

To leave people mind broken and heart fucked!

 

 

 

:$

I'm not an expert, but I really like your writing:)

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I'll share another one:

 

 

To Love Is To Die

 

To love is to die

To surrender your being into someone else’s hands

As life’s hourglass burns through its sands

 

Give up your dreams

As your heart breaks out of your chest

And your head screams

 

It is wrong

But it feels so right

To lie beside a lover on a cold winter’s night

 

Lost in time

The moment will pass

With no reason or rhyme

 

Stay asleep in your dream

Waiting for true love’s kiss

Don’t blink or you might miss

 

People come and people go

Throughout this crazy life

But only one will true love know

 

To love is to die

Whether it is right or wrong

Be assured it will last long

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I'll share another one:

 

 

To Love Is To Die

 

To love is to die

To surrender your being into someone else’s hands

As life’s hourglass burns through its sands

 

Give up your dreams

As your heart breaks out of your chest

And your head screams

 

It is wrong

But it feels so right

To lie beside a lover on a cold winter’s night

 

Lost in time

The moment will pass

With no reason or rhyme

 

Stay asleep in your dream

Waiting for true love’s kiss

Don’t blink or you might miss

 

People come and people go

Throughout this crazy life

But only one will true love know

 

To love is to die

Whether it is right or wrong

Be assured it will last long

 

I like this one too:D

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  • 2 weeks later...
I'll share another one:

 

 

To Love Is To Die

 

To love is to die

To surrender your being into someone else’s hands

As life’s hourglass burns through its sands

 

Give up your dreams

As your heart breaks out of your chest

And your head screams

 

It is wrong

But it feels so right

To lie beside a lover on a cold winter’s night

 

Lost in time

The moment will pass

With no reason or rhyme

 

Stay asleep in your dream

Waiting for true love’s kiss

Don’t blink or you might miss

 

People come and people go

Throughout this crazy life

But only one will true love know

 

To love is to die

Whether it is right or wrong

Be assured it will last long

 

Came out of lurking to say that this one is beautiful, I'm not an expert on these sort of things but I really do like this :happy:

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Dedicated to Rudderless Hippy

 

Drifting through the musky leaves,

Rain falls on a barren bough.

Sheltering beneath the eaves,

I wipe the drops from my brow.

 

Autumn turns into winter.

Down comes the heavy white snow.

Covered in a wet glitter,

I shovel it to and fro.

 

Spring melts the icy slush.

The sun teases from above.

Life reappears in a rush.

I foolishly talk of love.

 

Summer brings out cute couples.

Under the green trees they sprawl,

Talking smuggly of nuptials.

Alone, I wait for fall.

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Dedicated to Rudderless Hippy

 

Drifting through the musky leaves,

Rain falls on a barren bough.

Sheltering beneath the eaves,

I wipe the drops from my brow.

 

Autumn turns into winter.

Down comes the heavy white snow.

Covered in a wet glitter,

I shovel it to and fro.

 

Spring melts the icy slush.

The sun teases from above.

Life reappears in a rush.

I foolishly talk of love.

 

Summer brings out cute couples.

Under the green trees they sprawl,

Talking smuggly of nuptials.

Alone, I wait for fall.

 

A poetic dedication! Thank you it's lovely as usual!!

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Some things are best left unsaid,

Hiding within

Screaming to get out

Longing for relief

Hoping for belief

Some things are best left unsaid,

Filling aching minds

Deluding the insides

Poisoning the soul

Needing to be known

Some things are best left unsaid,

Tearing at heart strings

Sinking into pits

Clogging up arteries

Stopping up intent

Some things are best left unsaid,

Pushing at the skin

Tearing at the throat

Grasping for the air

Forming harsh notes

Some things are best left unsaid,

Famous last words

Leaving the unknown

All alone and dead

Never to be said.

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Behold the cheesiness!

 

 

 

I glance up and smile

At the crystalline droplets

As they fall from the vast obsidian

 

Up to the nonexistent sun

Of that auspicious March night

I glance up and smile

 

As if by chance

It incites a feeling within me

Of random content

 

And if only that

Small moment of wellbeing

I glance up and smile

 

And the tiny flakes

Like pieces of sugar lace

Doth melt upon my skin

 

Their faint touch

A mere goodnight kiss

Caused a light heart and

I glance up and smile

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

God I missed this thread :D

Let's hope I didn't put this one up before

then I'll feel like a real ass :erm:

 

Blushing Brightly

 

I watch you

Examine all your movements

As if in a trace

I pray

Your eyes won't meet mine

Even though that's what i want

Gliding

Going with the flow

So beautiful it hurts

Then a slight pause

Time stands still

Connection

A smile across my face

My head is fluttering

Sheer euphoria

I hide my face

You look a bit confused

Don't be

If you could see my face

At the very moment

Red and blushing brightly.

 

------------------

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hopeless Romantic, Still

 

My eyes were in the sky

To cure a heart darkened; a flower

An angel. Admittedly, a jealousness

of his closeness, of his happiness.

His fantastic (fainting!) fancy.

My male objective too - part of this,

The uni world that strobes and curves

And smiles and romps in white plaster rooms.

 

I looked up that morning, with objective

striking through my morning walk, through

any riffs and thought rambles, my eyebrows

furrowed; an unbecoming suave smile

on baby, dreamy eyes and distant face.

All the while, a familiar weight:

Stomaching.

 

Finally, food inside and balled fists,

I enter the expected theatre.

Not here, or at least,

Not in her usual seat.

Didn't come today? Sick? Or decided to sit with friends.

And all my shadows go.

All my guts relax.

 

I smile a familiar smile, and true is my relaxation,

As I listen and write to a melodic, American, cantering voice.

Not even listening. Probably that little blond head there.

I take from all the intelligent waffle-

Charlie Marlow, Powell and Barall-

 

If we wre meant to fall over one another,

First, you have to bump into me,

My love.

 

--------

 

Plug - http://leeolittlefaith.wordpress.com/

:happy:

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Nothing Here to Fear

 

When will this end?

When will I feel like me again?

This is diluting my soul

And making me want to explode.

Sometimes I just want to scream

And ask what’s wrong with me?

I don’t want to give in

Why did this have to begin?

Just when I feel alright

You come back into sight

Making me want to cry

What else is there to try?

I swear this isn’t the real me

This isn’t who I want to be

But it’s so hard to let go

Of everything I know

Can’t you take my hand

Just try to understand

It’s not what I meant to say

Don’t let it end this way!

Stand up, reach out, explain

I can’t handle the blame!

I need to feel release

Please give me some peace.

You hold the only key

To set my torment free.

There isn’t a monster here

There’s nothing here to fear.

 

Plug: http://mjarre.wordpress.com

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