Christmas Eve was great! But it looks like we're about to go to my Dad's sister's for Boxing day, so i'll tell you about that and Christmas Day this evening! Quickly though, I got this:

No, Turkish coffee is very small, dark, strong, and with loads of coffee sediment at the bottom.

I could only afford to either go travelling or learn to drive!

Happy Christmas!

i am quite lktwrally too bdrunk to respond. But I met loads of old friends and found out aboyt the next Foals albu,

Have A good Christmas!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpjyH-LkEAg

Milk too of course! This isn't Turkey. Although I do love Turkish coffees too...

I can't dance. I can only flail. In rhythm. You'll have to teach me. In a variety of pubs? I think the only cheer will be alcoholic.

They tasted of glitter.

You'd be easy to please at any rate! I need to learn to drive. But that means I won't be able to go travelling again.

Ah. Is that the thing which you use another thing to talk to people across distances which are too far for shouting and you select that persons name and you can hear their voice and they call hear yours and you can talk to them on it?

Facebook just told me this about that paragraph about the perspex: "Your status update is too long. The maximum status length is 420 characters, but it is 492 characters long."

I get about 3-4 cups (each with two sugars!) within 5-6 hours at the garage every day!

I can't wait for tomorrow night! Loads of my friends should be in Thame, including some I haven't seen for ages. But before that I have to work at the garage from 12-5, and you know there will be queues down the road...

I have already licked them to test them for flavour.

You really should come to Cardiff. Every day would produce overwhelming excitement for you.

What IS that? Really I have no idea. I fail at life. Or win. Depending on your perspective. Or perspex. Some people look at the world through those perspex screens. You know, those perspex screens. You may have seen them in the night clubs. Down where people dance all night. With the neon lights, those perspex screens they have nowadays. Down the town centre, in the disco club. The kids dance in front of them, jump up in the air then wave their hands about. You know, the perspex screens. Some people view the world through them, in all different colours. With the neon lights, down the disco club. The dancers they have there... Waving about... Viewing their life through screens...

I had 4 cups of coffee at work, 1 cup of tea at home, then went into Thame and had 2 cups of Chai Latte coffee with Sam & Davie in Thame before we went to the pub and had 3 pints of ale. Then on a caffeine high and slightly tipsy, I met some other friends and had 6 or 7 half-pints of hot spiced cider. Then I had to get up at 7.30am to go to work, where i've had 3 cups of coffee. It's like one giant cycle!

And when I got back this morning I found a card had arrived. A card with two mini gingerbread men in it! This made me happy.

I maay be a bit drunk...0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6X3JomOOzY

"But whhhhy?"

Did you separate yourself just so you could get the word elf? I wasn't fond of Beauty and the Beast. I just didn't really like any of the characters!

I wasn't. I was licking an strawberry icelolly.

Good. Now have some Ale!

That was Anna's solution too!

"I'm going to tie you to a radiator and grape you!" Sooo wrong.

In the words of Neo: "But whhhy?"

Sleeping Beauty was amazing! It had the evil witch who came through the fireplace and led Aurora hypnotised up the hidden stone spiral stairs. And it had the dark castle at the end, and the dragon. ...wait, do you just dislike it because the Princess is called Aurora? No, I haven't yet! I hoped to, but no one wanted to go with me.

*drops and licks 109 times*

You disgust me!

Oh yes, speaking of which, Anna was creating sexual fantasies about me and Cillian, while I was hoping to persuade him to play me for a few days. He could meet my family and work at the garage, while I could go and see all my old friends!

!!! That's amazing.

No. We'll drink the wine. As if we would waste it like that!

There better be some ankle! I liked Disney when I was a kid. But I haven't watched any of it in years. Apart from Robin Hood. And the Jungle Book. Oh, and Sleeping Beauty of course.

I know.

Ok. *drinks the wine* Mmmm... grape juice.

No, Cillian. If I looked liked Cillian I would have very few problems in life.

No! I don't think so.

Or every which way?

Not EVERY day! But those images have shown me how to grow and instant "moustache." Yeah, my throat is better! Which is good as i'm meant to be meeting up with Emily (old friend) tomorrow to make a snow igloo, with the aid of much mulled wine. If we're not snowed in anyway! It's like Narnia out there. The roads have disappeared under a blanket of white in the darkness, and it's meant to snow until 9am tomorrow morning now.

The pictures of your feet, back and right hip? I've never been to Disneyland/world/cave/tundra/camper van.

It's boooooring, BOOOOOOORING!

I could murder a glass of wine about now!

Cillian was my profile picture for a while!

In a sexy santa costume? I'm sure he will. Or if not, I will.

We'll make you a sexy DVD then.

Sounds like a nice little fantasy you're creating there! A nice little, little bit of man love?

I like the way you just presume we'd both be up for that...

Ah. No.. Damn.

I thought he may do better in the sexiest male category.

Do you think I could hire him to play me for a few days? He could go to work at the garage and meet my relatives for Christmas, while I could just relax and go drinking with my friends instead.

Yes, I decided to change my face and liked the look of his.

Do you like it when love 'n' licks makes you wet? ...How can quoting a toy advert seem to take things too far...

Well, there are other ways... but I still can't get over that advert enough to suggest them!

I couldn't grow one. I can only grow one like... Oh dear! I really should turn google images 'safe search' back on... well that linked back nicely to "love 'n' licks"! ...err... well I can't grow a proper one anyway! This is weird. Three lines in a row of me trying to cut back on everything sexual now! I must be ill. I do have a sore throat! Pity me!

Oooh why are you going to Disneyland? Christmas?!

I've actually always wished I had a Scottish accent for some reason! Or an Irish one. And I have lost branches of my family in Scotland, and all of our ancestors lived for at least 200 years in Ireland! And after all that i'm stuck with a boring South England BBC accent.

They are! ... WAIT A MINUTE! "...as I listened to tons of IAMX in the shower..." I failed to appreciate this image first time around....

Pffft! It's stuck to my face all the time though. I want to put on a new face each morning! Like a new pair of clothes. ...Sounds like the start of a new Hannibal film there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o-obIuin7E

Who needs words and images...

I didn't realise you were that way inclined.

A moustache party? The sad thing is i'd have to wear a fake one.

Actually, just watch this at your leisure for all the possible phrases you'll ever need: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzszTRCoj44

I can try to adopt it myself?

You should do! I find bizarrely that the demo album sounds awesome through my laptop speakers, yet rubbish (sound/mix wise) when on headphones or proper speakers. No idea how that works!

I keep getting bored of my own face!

It was! Sadly I forgot to take the photos though.

I shall happily do the Ghostbuster dance with you... Behind closed doors.

You should go again! Or come to Britain.

I'll have your guts for a fucking skipping rope! Then i'll rip out your lungs, have them sundried, and wear them as a fucking waistcoat.

It's a Scottish accent! As demonstrated by the crossest man in Scotland:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAIF7HB8xaU

Did you ever finish downloading/listening to the Sneaker Pimps' Album 4 demos btw?

I'll take some photos then.

Awesome. ...or it means i'm a fool.

Usually silly questions. What song is this lyric from, who won the world cup in this year, how many species of birds are in "The Twelve Days of Christmas" song, what currency is used in the Vatican, which airport was Die Hard 2 set in... One last night was "What did women campaign to get Queen Victoria to close at Christmas?" and my friends rather too loudly responded "her legs." Another was "Whose catchphrase was: 'It's all done in the best possible taste?'", so we wrote Hitler. No one takes them seriously, and it's just an excuse to have a laugh and a few drinks! Although i've been to some where the winning team gets free drinks! In one in Cardiff you win a minute behind the bar to pull as many free beers for yourself as possible!

There are some awesome cluttered bars too to be fair. There's one in Cardiff called Milgis which has a heated yurt (round tent) in the back full of old stuffed armchairs, wicker chairs, cushions and mattresses.

Don't you start fucking swearing at me or i'll make you sound like a clown running through a fucking minefield! Right? Fuckity bye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxDBwjQOhdk

Oh good.

I can certainly confuse!

GB is real you mean.

It's not the same thing at all! Pubs are old cluttered and homelike (Pub = http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/14/c4/25/cozy-little-pub.jpg ), bars are modern, stylised and cold. The quiz's are always shit to be fair, but nearly everywhere seems to do at least one a week!

To be fair all of that is fucking stolen or adapted from 'The Thick Of It' (or the film version 'In The Loop')! So I can't really claim credit for it.

Blank as opposed to filled with images?

I can only try.

Pfffft, they're both fictional creations and fun!

One ale tasted of earwax, which was unsurprisingly horrible. The other I tried tastes of Mulled Wine in ale form, and was deliciously amazing. WAIT WAIT WAIT! You have never taken a quiz at a pub?! Drunk pub quizes are everywhere in England! DO YOU EVEN HAVE PUBS OVER THERE!?! Australia just had bars. Rubbish! ...I may be a little drunk.

Non-lubricated might not get in. Alternatively push so much cotton wool down their throats that it pokes out the end of their arse like a fucking playboy bunny then throw them into fucking prison showers. It'll be like the fucking the Shawshank Redemption, but with more tunnelling through shit and no fucking redemption.