The new Horrors album is awesome!

/late

It has?!

Night!

But you might be wrong, I could have sworn I saw a light coming on!

Init though?! Face bovered? >

Init though. Yeah?

Is it though? Part Two on ow not to behave in Brrritin yeah? If you is slummin it then don't act like this:

It was good. Jolly good in fact.

We have Newcastle Brown Ale here! It's an odd one though. Kind of a bit like a milder Guinness crossed with bonfire smoke. Nice though!

*sends honey ale*

I had an ale. A honey based ale. Twas good.

Err no. Don't do that!

I have all 3 series.

Oh and learn how to act English. This is a perfect lesson in Englishness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCkFhafk26A

eels up inside ya! Findin' an entrance where they can!

Oh, and never say Devon-shire. And learn how to say Edinburgh. And Milton Keynes. Or you shall be tricked! By tricky people!

Eel?! I'll get an eel wriggling inside ya love! EDIT: Ohhhh wait you said Ee!

As long as you remember it's mostly concrete jungles and hooded chavs (with some nice bits hidden away)!

Nice bits include: parts of London - Oxford - Cambridge - Bath - Warwick - Stratford Upon Avon (sort of) - Somewhere on the coast in Dorset/Devon/Cornwall if you can find somewhere mildly affordable to stay! - Pembrokshire (in Wales - again with expensive though) - York - Yorkshire Dales - Edinburgh (although i've never been there ) - lots of places i've probably never been or forgotten

Well you'll be able to tell me when you come!

Naaaw! Well I hope it works out (and Britain won't be too much of a disappointment!)

Well there are many types of ale! Any many lagers too. Mostly though they'll probably be worse than American ones!

I've never had a real job. Just several lame-o jobs.

To the point where I rarely drink lager!

It will. Very probably. Even in the height of summer! You should come in winter/autumn/spring. You'd be sick of rain pretty soon!

I meant lager in general! I haven't tried American beers though. Well, apart from Budweiser (being the only one you can actually buy in Europe). Nah, lager is good for hot days. But I prefer ale in about the same way that I prefer red wine to white wine.

Naaaaw! I hope it rains for you.

It has actual flavour!

This sounds like a rather odd tour you're taking! "Britain: A guide to Alex Kapranos' favourite pastries".

You'll have a shock when I get some English ale down you.

It looks like a small cake shop from my quick google image search!

You should have wine instead.

Go to what?! I haven't even heard of it!

It would be the chips and beer which are your problem there!

Oooh what stuff?

Heavy stuff? I usually just have some soup or pasta for lunch! I have big stir fries or curries each evening though. With lots of rice. In fact I really do eat loads. I just happen to be stick thin.

When you come over here we'll have the best lie ins.

A cure for all ailments! But I guess it would make it very easy to accidently overdose whilst walking through the park...

I always skip straight to Lunch. Breakfast is the least important meal of the day! Especially when you wake up after 10. And Marks always wake up after 10 when they can help it.

They should. Nice smelling medicine!

But then i'll fall asleep! And being asleep isn't much better than dying. Unless I dream i'm awake... Or have magical sexy dreams.

A midnight snack!

As long as they stop making pollen. I took medicine! It was useless!