Kicking butts, thank you.

Anything new?

Love, Mum

because I kicked his arse the same very day in person.

So what's up?

Love, Mum.

Hmm, he might have accepted me because we used to be married ^^ (long story). I'll talk to Dad (Matt), he'll kick Dom-bear's arse. Send another request.

Love, Mum.

Dearest daughter,

I have a gift for you.

Go to MySpace.com and open Dominic Howard's profile. Don't try to fool me, I know you added him. Now, take a look at his relationship status. Mmh? Huh? Rrrright, great, isn't it?

Cheers,

your mother, who is single as well ^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Ha, you thought I'd forget, but noooo! I did not, just have not been on todays.

Heck, I hates A Levels, anywho, from Germany with looooooove,

Lilly der Specht

I know many Emmas. Three.

But I am glad you've sorted it out. I am already practically over my frantic hatred towards my former partner, this cuntsucking piece of horse shit.

Well, not quite, but I am working on it.

There is an improvement, then. I'd very much rather you told me, because otherwise, I am not useful and it scares me. xD It's your decision anyhow.

Damn, what happened?

I didn't mean it that way. Of course, if you really love her, you will stay together for ever. And ever. And ever. You just have to be sure what you want. And if you are sure, hold on to it.

Well, you weren't going to break up with Jenny, you weren't going to break up with Sarah, and you aren't going to break up with Meaghan.

Oh, dear, I didn't mean to offend you. It was meant as a compliment, a heartbreaker, you know, a pimp xD Don't worry, you'll manage that, remember what I've told you. Life ain't a pony zoo.

Thanks, bud. Sowa, what have you been up to, heart breaker? xD

I lack a hug

Tomorrow never knows xD Just preparing, for possible future interest ^^

Kidding, am young and crazed.

He looks like a smoking schoolboy and babbles something about nonconfortism and rock'n'roll when I try to teach him manners in a gentle way. Well, then he may suck my big toe.

And who wants a bellied guy, who is already an alcoholic at 19?

Beh, oh my God, and I slept with him?! Ew!

So how is your brother doing? ^^

What a girly girl you are.

Fuck it. Fuck him. I'll find myself a pwettier and a more talented one. I mean, he really is fuckugly!

Anywhoooo ... I am looking for an acoustic guitar cover of Padam Padam... Hmmmm *scratches chin*

Spare it for me! My partner broke up with me! I wants destruction!

Duuuuude, let me trash it!!! I want destruction badly.

So how's the ugly Strat? *snicker*

Ha, I am the happiest nanny in the History of slutty rockstar gals! My version of Matthew Bellamy alá smoking schoolboy has returned and I am GAY! (In the sense of being one glad biscuit!)

MARIE!!! Where are you all the fine time, daughter of the son of a daughter of children of a bitch?! xxx

Well, yeh, maybe a tiny bit disturbing that prank was.

Anyhow, ward, how is your state of mind... doing?

Dear deadstar78,

then you excuse me for MY late reply, as I was out on Sunday (as I always am).

Anyhow, I would rather not let publicity face my little poster, because it's just not good enough to publish. (Well, okay, the true reason is my being a lazy arse.) But thank you very much for the nice request.

Yours sincerely,

Lilly the Lasur.

Dear ward,

I'd very much rather you returned the porn collection you borrowed.

Videos you owe:

Alice in Fuckland,

Gary Blotter and the Sex Shop,

Little Prince of Foreplay,

Mickey Mouse,

Boston Tea Fuckery

and last but not least - Born to Fuck.

Prank!