Yeah, it would be cool if he got so mad he tried to hurt her. Obviously failing altogether, or stopping himself just in time, i mean, but love-hate relationships are the BEST! lol

You don't have to take my advice - i'm no Dickens. Or Shakespeare. Or Austen or Bronte or, or, or...

Oh, but murder is the best bit! lol

Me too. Gave me shivers the first time i heard it.

Sounds good. Perhaps it could be his mother's voice? Although, he's no where near the site of the accident... and he'd know her voice anywhere. Hmm... Why don't you just say: 'and there was no one there'. It's a tad predictable, but you could have him get really really pissed off about it and do something rash to hurt himself and/or her.

I'm writing a book.. well, a story. It's embarassing. There are so many things i need to edit. I'm on like... chapter 21 or 22 now, but to be honest i need to go through it and change some things. I know how it should go, but i keep getting distracted. When i'm done with this one i'll think about doing a fantasy one. I was trying to move away from that, but this one sounds too unrealistic for a realistic story.

Bad boys FTW. Yummy, too! They're always down right sexy! Fallen angels books, surprisingly, tend to be the ones with the baddest of all boys in them. I suppose that's why they fell - no way near pure enough! Mine! I want! lol

I know... In a sort of scary way, it would be fun. I'd like to marry a silly smelly old man and then go and sleep with the king - wouldn't that be fun? I'm not the most beautiful, but then again he wasn't picky! lol and then i'd smother my husband while he was sleeping so that i could marry a rich Lord by the King's orders. Wouldn't that be amazing? lol

Definitely. If you want to get into quoting, then try working this one out (in relation to poxy governements, i mean): "Why can't we see that when we bleed, we bleed the same?"

I know. If they wanted to help 'their people' then they shouldn't keep things away from us. They shouldn't keep anything hidden. That's the best way to start a rebellion. They're stupid. And i know they're hiding something - they're just hiding it so well that i can't work out what it is.

Thanks. They're sad... no, they're despairing, angry and fearful, but that's what makes me sad. That you should feel that way, isn't fair. You should read the comments on them. You're right about a nice place - all those comments are really encouraging.

I read your story. Or however much of it is on there anyway. It's dark stuff. It kinda scares me how i know that that kinda story is the sort of thing that pops into my head every now and again. For all the stern control and slight smiles i really do have a dark mind. I liked it though. In a funny way, it suits my taste in genre. I guess it was kind of you venting how you feel. The self harm and seeing people stuff. I GUESS. I may be wrong, but it's just a guess.

No, i know. 30 years... Feels like it should be, but it isn't. Not really.

Sounds like fun! I quite like a sci-fi every now and again, but generally i stick to my bleak romances and dark fantasies. Everything about them is frightening in a really good way - if that's possible. I like how they can really get under your skin and make you yearn to spend your every second trying to reach the last page. When you do finish it, you mourn the loss of such a great story for weeks after.

I tend to delve into the darker, more gothic side of fantasy novels. These days a lot of them are about Vampires who want to be good - so it's a rare treat to come across a really really bad-boy vampire or fallen angel or... no, the werewolves are never bad-boy. I do read a couple of the 'my soul is damned, i wanna be good' stuff, but i just end up falling in love with the wrong one... the baddie. He's always the exciting one, the sexy one, the bad bad bad one. My favourite. It's a shame though, because they're usually always killed off (which is sad but still exhilerating) or made good (which is sad and boring).

The Tudors are my favourite. Take, take, take. I wonder if i could cope in a society like that. Despite my hedonistic, cynical view on life i am quite, stupidly perhaps, generous. I think i'd quite like the dirty, scheming, sexy underbelly of court life - now that i could cope with.

Questions will always be there. Just to annoy us. I was thinking about Showbiz. Matt says the album is more about the act we put on every day rather than actual show-business (recited almost to the word!) and i was thinking about how the Tudors just spent most of their time lying and stealing and doing other 'ungodly' things. Not to say that there weren't good people up at the top end. Henry VIII himself was a good boy before he fell for Katherine of Aragon. She couldn't produce the sons he needed, so he decided to take advantage of his position - why not? everyone else did it.

But anyway, what i meant was; we're all different people under the mask. Pretence was... is everything. Everything. It hasn't changed. If you look at the people at the top, can you really say you trust them? i sure as hell can't.

That scares me. Genuinely. I can't stand that some things are hidden under so many thick layers. It scares me. What have they got to hide? What's that bad that they won't disclose it, even in the craziest of conspiracy books?

Politics is messed up. Badly.

Cheers. You know, you're an amazing writer. Truly exceptional. The whole poem is beautiful, but in different ways. It goes from beautifully serene to beautifully dark and frightening, in moments. You're really good. I can see elements of your own experiences in it. I liked the... uh, stanza about a child's imagination. Can i read some of your other ones? They're underneath the about the author bit, but i kinda feel... i don't know. it's silly, but i feel like i should ask permission.

You like historical-fictions? Obviously 30years ago isn't really history (well it is, but it isn't), but the others are. I love historical-fictions. I've been obsessed with history since i was, like, five or something. I read those kinda books every now and again. In-between my dark-fantasy novels, of course! I love the Tudors best! lol! I can't get enough - it was such a bleak, but merry and modest but sexy era! It's almost funny how contradictory everything was. Pretence was everything. Everything.

It's funny - in some ways, life hasn't changed a bit, has it?

lol! That would be amazing, right?!

Whooo! I like your one! Definitely definitely KINKY! whoa, that would be amazing...

anyway! How about... getting all three of them high and seeing what happens - never know; could be kinky! lol

Do you wanna send it to me? Obviously - you don't have to. Send it in a private message if you want.

Read any good books lately? I'm reading the Vampire Diaries - really good. I'm really stuck into all the supernatural young-adult/teen books hanging around at the moment. They're a good little gothic escape from the real world. I don't care that my mum wants me to read 'real' books. I do read a 'real' book every now and again, anyway, just to take a break from the witchery and ripping out of throats, but it's my choice what i read in my spare time. Cut me some slack, won't ya?! I hate being told what to do. Anyway - back to the original question - read anything good?

I like politics. I want to know how our government works... or doesn't work. British politics is almost as messed up as American. The American government scares me. Genuinely - why does everyone worship Obama like he's God come to earth? It's just weird. We'd clap politely and then leave, but in America everyone whoops and screams and then sticks sround for ages afterwards as well. I don't know why, but that feels wrong to me. It awakens the conspiracist inside me!

Good Luck!!!

meh, i've had it before - like i said; won't take two minutes. Of course; thanks anyway!

Well done! lol, first i thought that said Vest! What's it about?

I know! No way is this fair! lol Yeah, i think adenoids have something to do with... their behind your nose and prevent... infections i think. I really should care enough to look it up, but i can't find it in me!

So yeah, i gotta wait. BORING!

I know! I'd actually talk better with a random old woman who needs directions than i would with kids my own age... that is; if i didn't know them.

lol, Don't sweat it! I sit typing away! I'm a bit of a nerd i must admit. At the hospital this morning during the wait i read like half my book. We did have to wait a really long time - to be fair. I hate all this 'pedo' bullshit. Sure, there are a couple of freaks out there, but it's not like i'd talk to any old person on these things. I'm not stupid.

It's better to sit and tap out some random poetry or something than lock it all up inside.

lol, i'll survive. Doc says i've got to have grommets in my ears - they're tiny bits of plastic that are put into the ear drum to make a little hole; allowing the air pressure to be released. The operation won't take two minutes. Sounds easy. Well i've had them before (when i was about 5) and they did work... while they were in and then for two years after they came out. After that my hearing just went back to the way it was before. And it's taken the NHS four years to realise this - even though i've been going back and forth between doctors and hospitals since year five. I'm in year nine, just to clarify. I'm not impressed. You know the new government want to reform the NHS, right? Well this is why. I could have this operation done tomorrow since there's no one else on the waiting list, but the hospital has to ask the PCT (primary care trust) for the funding first (taking up to a month and a half) and there's a chance they may say no, which means an appeal would have to be made, which could take another month to come through. I could have this operation tomorrow - and yet i have to wait even longer. Don't they realise how badly this affects my life? I just don't hear some things at all. It's weird to think that those things don't even exist to me whereas other people can hear them clearly. Four years has been such a long time, so why hold up any longer? just do it illegally for fuck's sake; do i look like i care whether we get the PCT's go-ahead? The other problem is that the tube that connects my ears and nose is so badly blocked with fluid it's in a state of almost disrepair. How depressing is that? To think these grommets may not even work... In which case i'd have to have them again and again, possibly having to have operations throughout my life to keep putting new ones in. That's very very worse case scenario though. The hope is that the released pressure will help the tubes to clear on their own. Treatment won't work because the tubes are too tiny to operate on. Annoying. Oh yeah, and they wanna take out my adenoids - don't even ask me what that is.

ANYWAY!! lol

I get lonely sometimes - but that's not always a bad thing. I'm not sure why, but once i've been lonely for a while i appreciate my friends much more. You will get new friends - i know you will. It took me a while, because i'm so shut away with strangers. I don't open up at all until i know the person and then i'm completely the opposite! I shriek and shout and laugh and cry - but i'd never do that in front of people i don't know well.

I hated change until i got to high school. I'm more open-minded about it now. I understand that it's all a part of life. Change is something you can learn to love. I get sick of monotony so quickly now - i need change. Routine drives me mad! Be sad you're leaving people behind, but be happy you're starting something new. I was so excited about high school. I wanted a total fresh start. I got one... sort of. It's good - i know you'll enjoy it. If you let yourself.

It's good you're writing. Poems are the best (yes i'm nerdy. I also have very few friends and spend the majority of my time on World of Warcraft! Yeah right! Whatever). Music and writing have always helped me through... everything, really. It's good that you're on a help-site. It's good that you're so determined to get out of this. You will. Some day, you will.

lollollollollollollollollollollol!!! lol!

ha! Kinky! Let's think of loads of kinky things! What about... tying Matt and Dom together in my basement?? now that is kinky!

Yeah. I know studying is important, but that doesn't mean i like it! I hate it!

Uh oh! What exam is it? Feeling confident?

Aw, man, that's not a good thing! So. What are you going to do about it then? Why are you slipping back?

I'm alright, i s'pose. My ears and throat really hurt, but that should be sorted soon enough. I'm tired, but that's nothing new. Just watching the footy, but nothing happening. i hate football.

No way! Not a chance - he knows that hysteria riff off the top of his head and the rest of the song too. And he plays sunburn to perfection. I'm not that good.

He is! And very very tall! lol

Knock him out with a baseball bat - that'll do it! lol, poor kitty!!

How's - everything - going? Do you feel like you're getting any better?

I actually spend a lot of my time with boys. I prefer their company somehow...

Hmm, fun - sometimes! lol

I know - that's something you don't appreciate about primary school until it's gone; it's much less tiring than high school.

He's alright. He doesn't say much. Just smiles every now and again. It was really good though - he's so much better than me! Eeek! But my guitar teacher was there to introduce us and stuff, so that we didn't just sort of sit there in silence! It took me a while to adjust to singing with him in the room. I don't like singing to a small crowd. He likes Muse - that was the selling point really! He says more by email than he said the whole 2hrs we played today! But, oh well, he still seemed nice. But it was really cool to play music with someone else. I did feel a bit... like i wasn't very good, with him and my guitar teacher both outdoing me (!), but still i enjoyed it.

Fine by me! Good word, isn't it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 'then i ate it'! lol I found a rotten BANANA the other day and then i threw it out the nearest window. lol

kinky! lol

yeah, same. i don't have many exams at the moment, but i have loads coming up after september. I hate revising.

lol

kinky - like a cross between dodgy and sexy! That's the best definition i can think of! Kinky is like cheeky and sexy and sometimes creepy and dodgy too!

GO BANANAS!!

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

I didn't miss many people. Only my boyfriend. All the girls there were mean - and there weren't many girls in my year anyway. I broke up with my boyfriend last feb - 2009 one i mean - ... It made him sad, but for me it was just a relief. He was the last thing tying me to my primary school and when we split i didn't even have to make a vow not to think of primary school again, because i was already there - not missing it a bit.

It will be weird and scary and awful sometimes, but it'll be great. You'll love it - you'd be mad not to. It's such a change from primary school. It's so much better.

I know!!! I wanna sleep!! Not all this school nonsense - who's idea was that? ridiculous! It's hot and i'm tired... i can't deal with all this. i'm too tired...

I'm meeting up with a guy who plays bass tomorrow! I'm really excited. It may be that we meet up once and that's it, but it would be nice to see each other regularly. He says he knows a drummer - it would be cool!

lol

I read weird books - my mum gets annoyed that i don't read 'proper' stories. More serious ones. But i do sometimes! And that's not the point. What i read in my spare time is for my own enjoyment not for any educational purpose at all. If i enjoy supernatural books, then why shouldn't i read them?

It is; i don't know what the alure is, but it's there somehow. I got dragged in and sucked under! Loved it.

thank you! lol

I know - i have a way with that sorta thing. Sorry.

Pasta, pasta, pasta. Yummy! Can we drench him in creamy pasta sause and lick it off? eww!!! But yum! SOOOOO dodgy! So kinky! I love that word!! BANANAS!!!