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Maryii

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About Maryii

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    Member

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  • Location
    In a box
  • Interests
    Fishing and/or smoking
  • Occupation
    Student
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    Yes
  1. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    I have an active imagination...and this has come into shape because my best friend JE went through this rubbish. All the best, JE!! So let me get this straight. First, you hurl your bff in my direction, because you fear me like a volcanic eruption. Then you take it back and tell me that YOU, not HIM, love me very much, and you want to make me yours. Hm. You proposed, told me you even bought a pair of wedding bands!!! I fell for the trap, dedicated my last breath to this "relationship" and then, all of a sudden, I heard you tell me that, in fact, you remained with your ex and that, while you talked to me on the phone, you had your hands all over HER body!!! *takes deep breaths, since the violence is about to rise from the depths of my disbelief... I told you to piss off, stop calling me, stop following me around, take your sorry carcass and go somewhere far far away from me and live happily ever after (cos I'm nice.). And then you cried your eyes out, begging me to reconsider and, again, I told you that I held no grudges, but please, please, get the hell out! You refused, cried some more, and I got so furious that if I did see your sorry arse in front of me again I might just go berserk and, Heavens help me, I might forget myself and do something stupid (this letter should be enough evidence of that). Still, all of your friends seem to believe that the bitch here is me (not you, oh no!) and so I have to put up with this absurd turn of events and carry on, despite the fact that your lies and betrayal have left me unemployed and without prospects! *deep, deep breaths... So I'll tell you this: even IF I do get my job back and rise from the rubble I would like you to know that our relationship from now on means nothing to me. Like I said, I hold no grudges, but since you have failed the Trust Test you can gather your belongings and take off. Oh! And Merry Christmas!
  2. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    This one is to openly admit my eternal love for this thread. This is where it's at! It's like having a private mental dustbin, where I can dump all of my frustrations and mediocre literary aspirations! And the best part is that no-one ever makes any comments, so I'm free to fly! Thanks to whoever moderates this! Much appreciated! The thread is MIIINE!!! MWAHAHAHAH!!! *clears throat. Dear Mr. Bollocks, After careful consideration I have reached the conclusion that my contract is doomed! I have read and re-read all the clauses and it all fits in perfectly! I was promised an important and influential position in your organization, Bollocks S.A. I accepted the offer and subsequently quit my previous job and abandoned my brilliant career in food products and spent several weeks in careful preparation for the initial phase of the project. I spoke to several members of the project and did what I was hired to do: spoke openly about how I believe the project should be run. I dedicated myself to it entirely! I was told by several members that my contribution is invaluable! I was confident and very proud of my "achievements". And now I am told that my presence is no longer needed and that the project will go on without me. I wonder how, since I am spearheading the whole operation! I have no intention of threatening you or any project members and if I, in any way, gave you the impression that I would bludgeon you or project members, please consider the importance of metaphors in the grand scheme of things. Regardless, I would just like to extend my sincere disappointment in you, as project manager. I will watch from afar as the project crashes and burns. Thank you for nothing. Miss Now ps.: time bombs!
  3. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    I decided to write this because I made a connection: I've been reading a book entitled CHILD ABUSE TRAUMA Theory and Treatment of the Lasting Effects (physical, sexual and psychological), by John Briere and to quote the foreword: "...comprehensively and eloquently made the case for recognizing that much (if not most) of what we think of as adult psychopathology actually reflects long-term reactions to child abuse." This thread has a long history (long because it started in 2007) of discussions on the subject. After reading Oddballs piece I realised that if the book is right, no adult in that position would be able to answer the question "Who am I" unless they got treatment. Also that because of the grave nature of the trauma most child abuse survivors (the same goes for rape victims, for example) seldom or never ask for help! I am no expert on the subject, but it takes very little to connect the dots. And I believe that open discussion (and my intention here is to stimulate discussion. Even if it's not the right thread for it, I'd like to start somewhere) is a means of educating people so that child abuse will one day belong in the past. The text is self-explanatory and fictitious. Underneath the text there is a link to the book in case anyone is interested on the subject. Here goes: Case Study #336 Patient: Male, thirty something, successful, accomplished, and severely traumatised. Initial diagnosis: child abuse induced trauma, resulting in abuse-imposed behaviour patterns. Note: Being of such prominence in his chosen field of work and since he is quite capable of achieving his professional goals, it is quite astonishing to find that he is incapable of establishing a healthy, happy lifestyle. In his closed circle people seem to believe that because he is accomplished his emotional welfare is not an issue. Close friends and family members know in detail of his early trauma. Yet, none of them seems to realise that behind that familiar mask there is a traumatised child. As a former patient I cannot watch silently as his abuse-imposed behaviour patterns develop. In face of the facts I would like to ask you, kind Doctors, for advice and immediate help! Yours sincerely, Dr. Now ps.: http://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=2iY-9WEwk1kC&oi=fnd&pg=PR9&dq=child+abuse+induced+trauma&ots=svryQ3_Vog&sig=JQKUHaY0KW58NzxxNmTe9ymgA28#v=onepage&q=&f=false
  4. I like your stuff :)

  5. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    :shifty:Failed Artists United FC Memo Failed Park Visit Account #1: How to look like a retard in front of everyone you know Part I Highlights: * Lack of info: Helpful or Detrimental? How to look like a retard in front of everyone you know Part I I am growing a beard. I am 28 years old. Female. And I am growing a beard. Funny pics aside, everytime I go to that park I feel like a complete and utter idiot. For having been there a gazillion times, perhaps? And being stood up every single time? Certainly not. But for still, after all this time and endless convos about how shit the circumstances are, getting off my sorry arse and walking all the way to the park. Idiot. And then there's the infamous walk back home, with its bitter aftertaste and general chucking of objects as soon as I enter my tiny room where, just for reference, I've spent the best part of summer. Spending summer in a box isn't the problem here. Makes no difference. What pisses me off royally is the stupid notion that today - TODAY!!! - things are about to change and I'll get that orange tan I've always wanted. But the orange tan never comes and, once again, I stand in the park, chilly wind blowing and all and I feel like shit. I've got the fucker on my speed dial. And he goes on and on about how that bad trip thing is really getting on his nerves and that unfortunately, regardless of our tear-filled agreement, he aint showin up. Could make an effort and come up with a glorious graphic novel piece, flourishes, abstract angles, endearing characters and awesome visual art. Can't be arsed. Listening to Portishead does not help. Priceless. I could also decide to wear a water flower on my lapel and distribute happiness to other people's children. Like I always do. Forget about the empty "friends" list. Who needs them, anyway? Right? Right? Made you smile there. So come on down! First round's on me! I could also decide that it's time to stop blabbering about my oh-so-sorry-arse to a bunch of strangers, but the empty bottles being hurled at me only make it all much more adorable. Init. No. I am NOT picking a fight. Just generally pissed off. My favorite part to play has always been that lonely-figure-on-the-background-that-raises-the-hairs-on-the-back-of-everyone's-head. Just for being in the room. Awesome. Thanks for the kissles! As for the park. Work work work. I know damn well that most people who know my work ethic well (or as well as I've invited them to) fear me quite a bit. Charming. And I understand that that fear is beyond me to solve because it stems from other people. Don't ask what you already know. So I'm in trouble. I need a successful "park visit" to make it all worth it. The dark ages I mean. Isn't it a pain when your own life is beyond your control? Most people would agree. If they knew. So what should I do: a) Sit here and write more shit that nobody understands; b) Feel really sorry for myself, lie down on the floor and cry for three days; c) Attempt communication through other means (and hope that this time the level of understanding of the third party will improve enough to allow a successful visit), or d) Go back to the park? From what I gather, a) is always an option, since people seem to enjoy a silly soap, b) is NOT an option, cos I've done it before and it only adds to the problem, c) is risky and makes me feel really stupid, but I've done it before yet the results bite me in the arse (and it hurts like hell) to this day, and d) is what it is. Redemption? No. Because it's unintelligible. Yes. People have feelings. And it's (supposed to be) a good thing. Instead, I have a quirky (?) habit of not being able to express myself in a way that human beings understand and to top it all off, paranoia sets in at just about the right time to make me feel (Feel!) like I've done it again and everybody really hates me this time around. Not that difficult to understand then that my inability to speak on most occasions is a direct result of years in confinement (inside my own head) in possibly the most stressful job position ever attained by yours truly. That aside, consider the endless interviews, The March itself, destructive criticism, lols, betrayal, more lols, forgiveness, more trips to the park, more trips to the dealership, numbness due to excessive exposure to other peoples shit and excessive exposure of my own shit to other people, the aggro that follows, some peoples apparent inability to separate fact from myth, that creeping feeling of devolving into teenagehood, alarm bells ringing, not finding a soul to have an interesting convo with (even if it's about the weather and especially if there's a storm), the Great Badass Off The Charts Record Breaking Motherfucking Storm itself. Shall I continue? I feel like a twat. Deservedly. And I would like to add that all twats have things in common and one of them is a loving heart. Lols, claps. Goodnight.
  6. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    A few ideas... Bureaucracy I received e-mails From two people From the same office Asking For the same thing I kept the farce
  7. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    Long time no see, guys... It's good to be back. I read The Unfortunate Man. I'm really interested in knowing what happens next. Particularly, her side of the story...
  8. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    Hey guys... I am very pleased to see this thread is alive and well! I've been quite busy lately, but hope to post soon. I haven't finished reading everything you posted after my last login, but I have enjoyed what I read so far. Keep up the good work!
  9. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    Could it be that the more I write the worst I get? lol Thanks for the comments though... Have a great weekend!
  10. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    International signs of distress Messages in smoke Bright colors Deaf and dumb rescue teams Can't hear my cries Won't see my signs I'm in despair I'll have to push my luck and reach Tapping fingers to the beat
  11. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    Thanks guys... I agree it's a cliche, but her brothers are bringing her down, so they ARE her foes I guess... I would like to rhyme, but everytime I try it sounds a bit childish to me...if I manage to do a decent rhyme I'll post, I promise... Please keep the thread alive!
  12. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    Looking back I understand That all my wrong turns Led me here No turning back now Terrified of misconceptions I walk on Deserted in the valley Will I be welcomed home With love, bread and wine In the end Or with dishonor There's no other way but upwards I march on and on Deserted in the valley My brothers dispute my right My only allies Are my foes Time to toughen up There's no other way but upwards I march on and on Deserted in the valley Clenching fists I hike on up The pain and the fear Block the way I increase the pace Terrified of misconceptions I walk on Deserted in the valley
  13. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    Incisive once again! I've experienced that recently and even though we (my friend and I) agreed to meet for new year, I know that the lack of communication will eventually destroy whatever bond we've built. Sad. I've been very productive lately and I intend to write much more... You have inspired me! Thank you so much! All this stuff I've been writing about has been burning inside for so long... It's good to be able to share it with someone.
  14. Maryii

    The Writers Block

    Born years apart We're twins And I loved you And I hated you And you drove me away Opposite poles we are I cut the chord Defying control Torn Fearing you'd come for me Come for me You screamed my name For so long I looked up to you I looked down on you It drove me astray Here's another one as promised... I hope you like it!
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