Banksy. Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Such a heart-warming thread It's nice to see how much of a positive influence music can have on people's lives. I just read through the whole thing. Needless to say, those of you who are still with your problems, I hope everything works out for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muse2503 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 This thread is so sad, but so great at the same time. My story isn't as interesting/dramatic as everyone elses, but I just wanted to say that Muse got me through the worst time of my life when I got dumped from a long relationship, I felt like I had something to really connect to and listened to them alot (still do), but they just gave me something to feel happy about until life got better I love Muse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawakangaroo Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 This thread makes me feel guilty for having a fairly good life so far But to all those who went through hard times, glad you found something that helped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachWithAnH Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I just about started cutting again, I feel like a fucking failure. Here's my rant about the person that's cyberbullying me http://musiciansdude.tumblr.com/post/6062613484/fuck I don't think I've ever been so close to really just losing it right now, like throwing shit through walls. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kh95 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I just about started cutting again, I feel like a fucking failure. Here's my rant about the person that's cyberbullying me http://musiciansdude.tumblr.com/post/6062613484/fuck I don't think I've ever been so close to really just losing it right now, like throwing shit through walls. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW No, no. You are not a failure.You are just human. I know, cheesy. You don't know me and I don't know you, but don't give up! Find some other way to vent your anger at life. I know when things get stressful at home, going on walks or on a jog helps. There are times when I get so angry at my step dad that I imagine myself killing him. When that happens I will either go on a walk or cry. I know it is embarrassing to cry, but I always feel soooo much better after I let it all out. Do you have any pets? My dog is always there to make me laugh. He also helps me stay sane. What would he do if I were gone? I always ask myself that. And of course blasting Muse into my head does help. I'm sorry to sound preachy or cheesy, but sometimes cheese in life is a good thing. Don't give up and I hope life gets better for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninjabanana Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Wow, i gotta say, all you musers have such touching stories! It's amazing to know that Muse have helped so many. My story isn't much, but my parents have fought ever since i was a child. I had to watch my dad beat my brother up twice and my sister once, luckily he's never touched me. And now, he's virtually forsaken the whole family to spend all his time with his new girlfriend. Note, he's still married to my mum. And here's the twisted part. He expects us to be HAPPY that he's left us for dead for some woman, he expects us to understand why he's never home anymore and why he doesn't care about us. And he can't understand why we hate him. I don't hate him though, i just hate what he's done. I mean, i can't hate my own father. No matter how much of a bad person he is, i just can't, because he's SUPPOSED to love me. So when he's not there, i pretend he's a better person, that he actually does care about me, and when he is around, i have to pretend i hate him so that mum doesn't think i've betrayed her by "siding with him", because she hates him with a vengeance and thinks that i should too. It hurts me massively to have to do this everyday, and the only thing that has helped me is Muse. Whenever i get the chance, i listen to them and it's like none of my problems exist, like as if i'm in another world completely, just me and my Muse. It's what keeps me sane right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kh95 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Wow, i gotta say, all you musers have such touching stories! It's amazing to know that Muse have helped so many. My story isn't much, but my parents have fought ever since i was a child. I had to watch my dad beat my brother up twice and my sister once, luckily he's never touched me. And now, he's virtually forsaken the whole family to spend all his time with his new girlfriend. Note, he's still married to my mum. And here's the twisted part. He expects us to be HAPPY that he's left us for dead for some woman, he expects us to understand why he's never home anymore and why he doesn't care about us. And he can't understand why we hate him. I don't hate him though, i just hate what he's done. I mean, i can't hate my own father. No matter how much of a bad person he is, i just can't, because he's SUPPOSED to love me. So when he's not there, i pretend he's a better person, that he actually does care about me, and when he is around, i have to pretend i hate him so that mum doesn't think i've betrayed her by "siding with him", because she hates him with a vengeance and thinks that i should too. It hurts me massively to have to do this everyday, and the only thing that has helped me is Muse. Whenever i get the chance, i listen to them and it's like none of my problems exist, like as if i'm in another world completely, just me and my Muse. It's what keeps me sane right now. Wow. I can really relate to you. It is hard knowing that the person who is supposed to be your father and is supposed to love you and protect you doesn't care about you and just hurts you and your family. In a way, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one going through things like this, but I'm sad that others have to go through it too. It makes me so angry and so jealous when I see girls with really great fathers. Cuz, I know that I don't have that. I'm so sorry that you have had to see your siblings get hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninjabanana Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Wow. I can really relate to you. It is hard knowing that the person who is supposed to be your father and is supposed to love you and protect you doesn't care about you and just hurts you and your family. In a way, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one going through things like this, but I'm sad that others have to go through it too. It makes me so angry and so jealous when I see girls with really great fathers. Cuz, I know that I don't have that. I'm so sorry that you have had to see your siblings get hurt. Yeah, it's one of the worst things. He gave me a birthday card last year and i tore it up, at the same time it was like i was tearing a part of myself too. I always look at some people and think, damn, i wish i had a dad like that. It hurts alot. It sucks to know you're going through the same thing , but like you said, it's kind of relieving at the same time to know i'm not alone. Yeah, i had to watch my dad stomp on my brother's head when i was 8 or so. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. More recently though, i've had to watch my mum hit my dad sometimes. I can't blame her though, because my dad beat her too when i was really young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kh95 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Yeah, it's one of the worst things. He gave me a birthday card last year and i tore it up, at the same time it was like i was tearing a part of myself too. I always look at some people and think, damn, i wish i had a dad like that. It hurts alot. It sucks to know you're going through the same thing , but like you said, it's kind of relieving at the same time to know i'm not alone. Yeah, i had to watch my dad stomp on my brother's head when i was 8 or so. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. More recently though, i've had to watch my mum hit my dad sometimes. I can't blame her though, because my dad beat her too when i was really young. Thats really scary. I'm so sorry. He has given each of us (mom, two sisters, brother, and I) an apology card recently, as if that is going to make us forgive him for the 15 years he has abused us. But he still hasn't changed. He will never change. I threw away the card, even though deep down, I wanted to believe that he was actually sorry. But I know he isn't. I don't even think he knows my birthday. You want to know what's pathetic? He wrote my name on the card, and he spelled it wrong. It really makes you feel like dirt when your "father" can't spell your name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninjabanana Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Thats really scary. I'm so sorry. He has given each of us (mom, two sisters, brother, and I) an apology card recently, as if that is going to make us forgive him for the 15 years he has abused us. But he still hasn't changed. He will never change. I threw away the card, even though deep down, I wanted to believe that he was actually sorry. But I know he isn't. I don't even think he knows my birthday. You want to know what's pathetic? He wrote my name on the card, and he spelled it wrong. It really makes you feel like dirt when your "father" can't spell your name. An apology card... why not come to your faces and say sorry? That's terrible. I hate that feeling, your heart believes one thing but your mind knows the truth. He doesn't know how to spell your name?? I swear, something like that would make me hit my dad. That is absolutely terrible. I'm really sorry for you too . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kh95 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 An apology card... why not come to your faces and say sorry? That's terrible. I hate that feeling, your heart believes one thing but your mind knows the truth. He doesn't know how to spell your name?? I swear, something like that would make me hit my dad. That is absolutely terrible. I'm really sorry for you too . Thank you. He is just a coward. He hasn't actually spoken to me for a few years. He is just a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurnOurHorizons Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Thank you so much. Reading that really was a comfort. We are coping and I'm just looking forward to when I can move out and hopefully things will get better for my mom. Thank you for your friend request and I would love to talk sometime! Aww, I'm glad you are coping. Thats okay, and sure, anytime! In my 15 years I've learnt that having someone to talk to can help alot, even if it doesn't solve the problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aman779 Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 My story is not sad at all and doesn't have anything to do with saving lives. Really, I had started 7th grade and i met this girl, we both ran in an election. my parents were fighting mostly cause my mom has bipolar disorder. She had some episodes. Anyway, I had to drop out and it made the girl really sad. We had stopped talking and we got new friends. I always loved her but i get too nervous talking to her or making friends at all. Muse was there for me, Thoughts of a Dying Athiest was my first song and then my Muse library extended and saved me from depression. My friends just made it worse. She thought I was a weirdo. Matt, Dom, Chris and every one else were like the friends I never had. I had multiple other things that saved me but each of them blew out: Other Forum (blew up 3 months after release) Minecraft Classic Server (Blew 12 months after) Minecraft Server (Blew 15 months later) Muse (Never blew out ) I love all Musers and we all should lead happy lives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LyraSilvertongue Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Wow. This thread is amazing. All of you are amazing. Here is my story. My step dad has been verbally abusing my mom, brother, two sisters and I for my whole life, which is 15 years. When my mom married him, he was prince charming, she said. After a year, he changed. Some people may say that verbal abuse isn't that big of a deal. I disagree. He has bruised my mother before and recently kicked my little brother. He throws things at my mom including a heavy tape measure that just missed her and broke her shower door. When my sister was five, he taped her to a chair because she didn't finish her dinner. My "father" hasn't talked to me in three years. He doesn't acknowledge that I exist, except for when he wants to yell at me. He gets mad when I sing or even when I talk around him. Nobody believes us. I don't blame them. Outside of the home, he is the nicest guy, so they say. When we try to tell them, they just say, "I just don't see him doing that!" I guess it makes sense. Out in public, he is happy and cheerful and we are sad, standoffish, and shy. He acts inappropriately towards other woman, which hurts my mom so very deeply, and yet gets furious when my mom talks to a young man who could be her son! My stress level is unhealthily high. I have trouble trusting anyone and have a intense fear of men. I cry almost every night, wishing I was never born. I've had suicidal thoughts that nobody knows about. I know it may seem easy just to leave him, but it isn't that simple. My mom would have to find a job and support four kids. My mom has been subjected to abuse her whole life. Even as a kid. But it is all my fault. If only I wasn't so stupid, annoying, bratty, then maybe he wouldn't hurt us anymore. I hate the feeling, when he walks into the room, I get scared. I can feel his hatred towards me. Anyways, enough with my stupid self-pitying. Muse had served as my escape. A world where he doesn't exist. It's all mine. The music takes me away and helps me cope. It gets me through. Not to mention Matt's dashingly good looks which helps me take my mind off whatever is happening in the real world. So thank you Muse for being there for me and thank you Musers for listening to me. No, absolutely not. The problem is with him and him alone. Please don't blame yourself. You've done nothing wrong. One day you will escape this horrible man and you WILL be happy. And maybe one day your mum will find the strength to leave him too. Men like him make me so angry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aman779 Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 No, absolutely not. The problem is with him and him alone. Please don't blame yourself. You've done nothing wrong. One day you will escape this horrible man and you WILL be happy. And maybe one day your mum will find the strength to leave him too. Men like him make me so angry. +infinity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LyraSilvertongue Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I just about started cutting again, I feel like a fucking failure. Here's my rant about the person that's cyberbullying me http://musiciansdude.tumblr.com/post/6062613484/fuck I don't think I've ever been so close to really just losing it right now, like throwing shit through walls. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW Zach, you don't know me at all but if you ever need someone to talk to (sometimes talking to a complete stranger can be the best thing) just send me a message, ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dontask Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Zach, you don't know me at all but if you ever need someone to talk to (sometimes talking to a complete stranger can be the best thing) just send me a message, ok? This to you, and to anyone. An unbiased ear is sometimes the most helpful thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibelongtoyou4 Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Wow. This thread is amazing. All of you are amazing. Here is my story. My step dad has been verbally abusing my mom, brother, two sisters and I for my whole life, which is 15 years. When my mom married him, he was prince charming, she said. After a year, he changed. Some people may say that verbal abuse isn't that big of a deal. I disagree. He has bruised my mother before and recently kicked my little brother. He throws things at my mom including a heavy tape measure that just missed her and broke her shower door. When my sister was five, he taped her to a chair because she didn't finish her dinner. My "father" hasn't talked to me in three years. He doesn't acknowledge that I exist, except for when he wants to yell at me. He gets mad when I sing or even when I talk around him. Nobody believes us. I don't blame them. Outside of the home, he is the nicest guy, so they say. When we try to tell them, they just say, "I just don't see him doing that!" I guess it makes sense. Out in public, he is happy and cheerful and we are sad, standoffish, and shy. He acts inappropriately towards other woman, which hurts my mom so very deeply, and yet gets furious when my mom talks to a young man who could be her son! My stress level is unhealthily high. I have trouble trusting anyone and have a intense fear of men. I cry almost every night, wishing I was never born. I've had suicidal thoughts that nobody knows about. I know it may seem easy just to leave him, but it isn't that simple. My mom would have to find a job and support four kids. My mom has been subjected to abuse her whole life. Even as a kid. But it is all my fault. If only I wasn't so stupid, annoying, bratty, then maybe he wouldn't hurt us anymore. I hate the feeling, when he walks into the room, I get scared. I can feel his hatred towards me. Anyways, enough with my stupid self-pitying. Muse had served as my escape. A world where he doesn't exist. It's all mine. The music takes me away and helps me cope. It gets me through. Not to mention Matt's dashingly good looks which helps me take my mind off whatever is happening in the real world. So thank you Muse for being there for me and thank you Musers for listening to me. No, absolutely not. The problem is with him and him alone. Please don't blame yourself. You've done nothing wrong. One day you will escape this horrible man and you WILL be happy. And maybe one day your mum will find the strength to leave him too. Men like him make me so angry. Aww, hun I'm glad you're staying strong and finding ways to deal with it, such as going out for a run or a walk, like you mentioned in a later post. I completely agree with Lyra. I don't care whatever happens, it's not your fault. I know sometimes you may feel like it is, I can certainly relate to that feeling, but it's really not. If you ever wanna talk I'm here, by the way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kh95 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 No, absolutely not. The problem is with him and him alone. Please don't blame yourself. You've done nothing wrong. One day you will escape this horrible man and you WILL be happy. And maybe one day your mum will find the strength to leave him too. Men like him make me so angry. Aww, hun I'm glad you're staying strong and finding ways to deal with it, such as going out for a run or a walk, like you mentioned in a later post. I completely agree with Lyra. I don't care whatever happens, it's not your fault. I know sometimes you may feel like it is, I can certainly relate to that feeling, but it's really not. If you ever wanna talk I'm here, by the way Thanks guys. Hearing those things is actually really reassuring. Many of the people that we try to get help from only belittle our situation and make it seem like it isn't that big of a deal. So, it's nice to hear that we actually don't deserve this kind of treatment. I know it isn't my fault. I was just really unhappy that day. It goes up and down. One day I am confident, knowing that I am doing everything I can to keep the peace and then the next day, it is all my fault. I'm always on this emotional rollercoaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drawakangaroo Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Thanks guys. Hearing those things is actually really reassuring. Many of the people that we try to get help from only belittle our situation and make it seem like it isn't that big of a deal. So, it's nice to hear that we actually don't deserve this kind of treatment. I know it isn't my fault. I was just really unhappy that day. It goes up and down. One day I am confident, knowing that I am doing everything I can to keep the peace and then the next day, it is all my fault. I'm always on this emotional rollercoaster. Yeah, it's horrible when people try to say, "Well you have it good compared to the starving kids in Africa" or stuff like that. Sure, that's true, but that doesn't mean your problems don't mean anything. It's all about expectation and what you see around you. If anything, the starving kids are better off emotionally because everyone else is starving as well, so they're not alone or odd. But in your case, you're surrounded by a world where families seem perfect and happy, or at least they're supposed to, but you've got huge problems in yours, making it seem abnormal. So being emotional about this type of thing is totally understandable. Just my theory. And I know what you mean by the emotional rollercoaster thing, it sucks. If you need to talk about anything I'm here too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachWithAnH Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 No, no. You are not a failure.You are just human. I know, cheesy. You don't know me and I don't know you, but don't give up! Find some other way to vent your anger at life. I know when things get stressful at home, going on walks or on a jog helps. There are times when I get so angry at my step dad that I imagine myself killing him. When that happens I will either go on a walk or cry. I know it is embarrassing to cry, but I always feel soooo much better after I let it all out. Do you have any pets? My dog is always there to make me laugh. He also helps me stay sane. What would he do if I were gone? I always ask myself that. And of course blasting Muse into my head does help. I'm sorry to sound preachy or cheesy, but sometimes cheese in life is a good thing. Don't give up and I hope life gets better for you. A lot of the time, I do cry, while everyones gone or asleep. Thank you Zach, you don't know me at all but if you ever need someone to talk to (sometimes talking to a complete stranger can be the best thing) just send me a message, ok? I will definitely take that into consideration next time the shit hits the fan, which it probably will soon :/ This to you, and to anyone. An unbiased ear is sometimes the most helpful thing. I do sometimes tend to tell complete strangers or people I barely know my problems, but it would never be at the scale of the stories I've shared here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick4Kizna Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 A lot of the time, I do cry, while everyones gone or asleep. Thank you I will definitely take that into consideration next time the shit hits the fan, which it probably will soon :/ I do sometimes tend to tell complete strangers or people I barely know my problems, but it would never be at the scale of the stories I've shared here This is probably the only thing I'll post here. Whatever you do to cope, just don't turn to drugs. Takes a long time to come back from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLlSS Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I only just found this thread today, and Im not a very good reader, so i might have accidentally missed some bits out. I think the great thing about what i've seen in this thread so far is that most of the posts have been really positive. Its about how peoples lives were aweful, but arent now. Im hoping to bring some more positivity to the thread and try to be as least depressing as possible. I apologise in advance If it doesnt seem very positive. My story is slightly different to the majority on here, because it wasnt just Muse that got me through my tough times, it was the community of Musers online that helped me get through it all. Even if I wasnt directly talking about my problems to people, just the fact that i could interact with other people with similar interests to me made a real difference. Being a 'Muser' made me feel like part of something huge and great. Its just about the only thing I feel I can be really proud of. A year ago or something, I created a thread about how much I appreciated having other Musers around to help when things werent so great (this was on another account, which had to be deleted because of certain abuse incidents). Anyway, to my story. In the past year my life has been crazy. In September, after I saw Muse at Wembley, I decided to speak to a doctor about my thoughts. (Not before coz i didnt want to ruin my chances of being able to go to Wembley, which was the second best night of my life. The first being my first ever Muse gig, in the second row on the Saturday of the Seaside Rendezvous gigs) She told me i had Psychosis and Depression and that I needed to be treated in a secure Psychiatric Hospital in Plymouth, Devon. At school aweful rumours spread about what had happened to me, most of them wernt true and it really got to me. I stayed in the hospital for 3 months. During that time I went outside once or twice and saw my family twice. During the 3 months, I listened to Muse almost non-stop. I found that Bliss helped me the most. It just seemed to provide a great escape from what is a really shitty world (thats just my experience of it though) On the computers there, they let me watch Muse DVDs (although i had to argue alot about that because they wernt sure if i was allowed to watch dvds that had swearing in) and they meant that I could forget about everything else and just immerse myself in the brilliance of Muse. As time went on I started to feel alot more positive about things, and my love of Muse turned into a healthy obsession. We had quiet rooms in the hospital which are soundproof with bean bags and punch bags and stuff. And they let me play my guitar there. I found playing Muse the ultimate escape. I also had a book of things that Musers had written here on .mu and it really did keep me going. Apart from a few minor trips to hosptial since, I have been slowly making even more progress. So much progress that i even managed to take 4 of my GCSE's which nobody thought I would be able to manage.( I did my maths GCSE a couple of hours ago) So yeah, im sorry i waffled on a bit there, long story short, THANK YOU MUSE AND MUSERS FOR MAKING MY LIFE SO MUCH BETTER!!! You guys are all the best, and youv all helped me directly, if not indirectly to make my life a bit better. Nobody here has made my life worse (recently) So yeah, I also hope to talk to some of you at some point, dont be put off by my wierdness, im almost completely better now Thanks guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibelongtoyou4 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Thanks guys. Hearing those things is actually really reassuring. Many of the people that we try to get help from only belittle our situation and make it seem like it isn't that big of a deal. So, it's nice to hear that we actually don't deserve this kind of treatment. I know it isn't my fault. I was just really unhappy that day. It goes up and down. One day I am confident, knowing that I am doing everything I can to keep the peace and then the next day, it is all my fault. I'm always on this emotional rollercoaster. I know what you mean about people making you feel like your problems are insignificant. My friend is in a similar position as I am, and I always comfort her and give her advice. When I feel incredibly depressed and angry, she tells me that my opinions are wrong and petty. I can also relate to your alternating opinion on whether it's your fault or not. Usually when an "incident" happens, I feel like I started everything and it wouldn't have happened if I had or had not done something. After I get over it, I realize it's not my fault. It's funny how we have two different things going on in our lives, but we share several of the same emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachWithAnH Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 This is probably the only thing I'll post here. Whatever you do to cope, just don't turn to drugs. Takes a long time to come back from. I did drugs when I was going through a rough time earlier in my life. I was way to young to be doing anything of the sort, because I was 12 and 13 and I really fucking regret it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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