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Aw, that's so cute. :happy:

um....

Matt Bellamy doesn't get drunk on red wine, red wine gets drunk on Matt Bellamy.

/lame

 

:awesome:

Aww, thanks for liking it! :happy:

 

i found this thread while googling matthew bellamy on a unicorn. can't say i'm not disappointed. guess i'll jump on this bandwagon. :D

 

Matthew Bellamy CAN believe it's not butter.

 

That's so funny, rofl!

Wait, unicorn brought you to this? Did it link you to a post? Because a couple of days ago I wrote something about Matt and a unicorn...omg so funny.

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Most people enter into prenuptials before getting married....but Matt is so interesting he has his potential girlfriends sign a relationship contract just so there are NO misunderstandings! :p

 

 

PRE-RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT OR RELATIONSHIP CONTRACT:

 

The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being

of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him"):

 

1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship

(colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees

to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children,

bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social

diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active

relationships with anyone else that have not yet terminated.

Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated

complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or

organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result

in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a

chance to get anywhere.

 

2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the

person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred to as the

"matchmaker")blameless in the event that the "fix-up" turns out to be a "real loser" or "psycho bitch". (For definition of "real loser", see "John DeLorean:

 

My Story", available at most bookstores, or any picture of Bob Guccione in "Penthouse". For definition of "psycho bitch", see Sharon Stone

in "Basic Instinct" or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction".)

 

3. DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed

past the first date, both parties mutually agree to use the following

terminology in describing their said "dating":

 

For the first thirty (30) days, both parties consent to say they

Are "going out". (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of

exclusivity.) Following the first thirty (30) days, both parties

may say they are "seeing somebody" and may be referred to by third

parties as "an item". Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the

first date, either member may elect to use the terms "girl/boyfriend" or “lover" and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as "a couple". Under no circumstances are the phrases "my better half", "the little woman", “the old ball and chain", or "my old man/lady" acceptable.

 

Furthermore, if both members consent, this timetable may be sped

up; however, if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this

schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market".

 

4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days, both

parties agree not to ask questions about the other's whereabouts on

weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. No unreasonable

demands or expectations will be made; both parties agree they have no

"rights" or "holds" on the other's time.

Following the first six weeks or forty-five (45) days, if one

party continues to be "missing in action" without explanation, the

"wounded party" agrees to "give up".

 

5. DATING ETIQUETTE: For the first thirty (30) days, both members

of the couple agree to be overly considerate of the other's work

pressures, schedules, and business ambitions. All dates will be made at

least twenty-four (24) hours in advance; there will be no "running off

in the middle of the night to console an old girl/boyfriend", and both

parties agree to strike the phrase "but he/she needs me" from their

vocabularies.

 

Further, during the first six (6) weeks each member of said

relationship agrees to attempt one spontaneous home-cooked meal or to

arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers. Following the first forty-five (45) days, both parties will return to their normal personalities.

 

6. TERMS OF PAYMENT: It is agreed that-respective gross income

aside "he" will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theaters, and

breakfasts until: "He" considers her suitably impressed, "he" is broke, or "he" says, "this is ridiculous, you pay!" Not included in this agreement are meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time.

 

7. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: (occasionally known as the "Why do I

bother to keep my own apartment?" codicil): Should said relationship

progress to the point where the couple spends more than four nights a week together, every effort shall be made to split the time between their respective apartments. Further, it is agreed that both sides will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates. He agrees to "pick up after himself" while in residence at her apartment, including washing his whiskers out of the sink, and assisting with household duties. By the same token, she agrees to respect his right to keep his apartment "a mess".

 

8. THE 90-DAY GRACE PERIOD: For the first three months, each

member of the couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric

use of phrases like "Let's move in together", "Why don't we start a family?" and using archaic terminology like "Let's get married".

9. THE "L" WORD: For the first sixty (60) days, both parties

agree not to use the phrase "I love you". They may love plants, dogs,

cats, concerts, or the way a particular pair of jeans fits, but not each other. Failure by one party to abide by this rule will result in the other party using the "G" word... "Gone".

 

10. GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION: Any of the following will be

grounds for immediate termination and final dissolution of said

relationship:

 

Infidelity: Running off at any time to console an ex-girl/boyfriend,

Ending an argument with the sentence "My ex used to do the same thing";

Suggesting that no matter how kindly that the other member should

seek "help"; Ending any argument with the phrase "My analyst thinks

you are..." "

 

 

 

 

 

11. DECLARATION OF STRENGTH: At the time of breakup,

each party reserves the right to make the other feel guilty by using one or all of the following phrases: "You'll never find anybody better"; "Nobody could ever make you happy"; "I'll find somebody

who can really appreciate me"; "My analyst thinks you are..."

(appropriate psychosis/neurosis goes here)

 

12. MISCELLANEOUS: Both parties agree to remain exclusive until

such time as the relationship appear to be "on the rocks".

Each party agrees to give the other at least five minutes notice

before terminating said relationship. At the termination of said affair, both parties agree to be mature and return compiled socks, sweatshirts, books, record albums, door keys, and personal undergarments with all due haste through impartial

intermediaries.

 

Both parties agree to refrain from slandering the other for a period of at least seven days (bedroom performance included), and further consent to use one of the following nebulous terms in the description of the breakup:

 

"The timing wasn't right."

"He/she wanted more than I could give."

"He/she was too involved in his/her career."

"He/she decided to go back to his/her lover/hometown/therapist."

 

13. ADDENDUM: After the initial breakup - no matter what -

> both parties agree to give the relationship "one more shot".

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Most people enter into prenuptials before getting married....but Matt is so interesting he has his potential girlfriends sign a relationship contract just so there are NO misunderstandings! :p

 

 

 

PRE-RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT OR RELATIONSHIP CONTRACT:

 

The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being

of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him"):

 

1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship

(colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees

to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children,

bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social

diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active

relationships with anyone else that have not yet terminated.

Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated

complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or

organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result

in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a

chance to get anywhere.

 

2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the

person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred to as the

"matchmaker")blameless in the event that the "fix-up" turns out to be a "real loser" or "psycho bitch". (For definition of "real loser", see "John DeLorean:

 

My Story", available at most bookstores, or any picture of Bob Guccione in "Penthouse". For definition of "psycho bitch", see Sharon Stone

in "Basic Instinct" or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction".)

 

3. DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed

past the first date, both parties mutually agree to use the following

terminology in describing their said "dating":

 

For the first thirty (30) days, both parties consent to say they

Are "going out". (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of

exclusivity.) Following the first thirty (30) days, both parties

may say they are "seeing somebody" and may be referred to by third

parties as "an item". Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the

first date, either member may elect to use the terms "girl/boyfriend" or “lover" and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as "a couple". Under no circumstances are the phrases "my better half", "the little woman", “the old ball and chain", or "my old man/lady" acceptable.

 

Furthermore, if both members consent, this timetable may be sped

up; however, if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this

schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market".

 

4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days, both

parties agree not to ask questions about the other's whereabouts on

weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. No unreasonable

demands or expectations will be made; both parties agree they have no

"rights" or "holds" on the other's time.

Following the first six weeks or forty-five (45) days, if one

party continues to be "missing in action" without explanation, the

"wounded party" agrees to "give up".

 

5. DATING ETIQUETTE: For the first thirty (30) days, both members

of the couple agree to be overly considerate of the other's work

pressures, schedules, and business ambitions. All dates will be made at

least twenty-four (24) hours in advance; there will be no "running off

in the middle of the night to console an old girl/boyfriend", and both

parties agree to strike the phrase "but he/she needs me" from their

vocabularies.

 

Further, during the first six (6) weeks each member of said

relationship agrees to attempt one spontaneous home-cooked meal or to

arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers. Following the first forty-five (45) days, both parties will return to their normal personalities.

 

6. TERMS OF PAYMENT: It is agreed that-respective gross income

aside "he" will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theaters, and

breakfasts until: "He" considers her suitably impressed, "he" is broke, or "he" says, "this is ridiculous, you pay!" Not included in this agreement are meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time.

 

7. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: (occasionally known as the "Why do I

bother to keep my own apartment?" codicil): Should said relationship

progress to the point where the couple spends more than four nights a week together, every effort shall be made to split the time between their respective apartments. Further, it is agreed that both sides will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates. He agrees to "pick up after himself" while in residence at her apartment, including washing his whiskers out of the sink, and assisting with household duties. By the same token, she agrees to respect his right to keep his apartment "a mess".

 

8. THE 90-DAY GRACE PERIOD: For the first three months, each

member of the couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric

use of phrases like "Let's move in together", "Why don't we start a family?" and using archaic terminology like "Let's get married".

9. THE "L" WORD: For the first sixty (60) days, both parties

agree not to use the phrase "I love you". They may love plants, dogs,

cats, concerts, or the way a particular pair of jeans fits, but not each other. Failure by one party to abide by this rule will result in the other party using the "G" word... "Gone".

 

10. GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION: Any of the following will be

grounds for immediate termination and final dissolution of said

relationship:

 

Infidelity: Running off at any time to console an ex-girl/boyfriend,

Ending an argument with the sentence "My ex used to do the same thing";

Suggesting that no matter how kindly that the other member should

seek "help"; Ending any argument with the phrase "My analyst thinks

you are..." "

 

 

 

 

 

11. DECLARATION OF STRENGTH: At the time of breakup,

each party reserves the right to make the other feel guilty by using one or all of the following phrases: "You'll never find anybody better"; "Nobody could ever make you happy"; "I'll find somebody

who can really appreciate me"; "My analyst thinks you are..."

(appropriate psychosis/neurosis goes here)

 

12. MISCELLANEOUS: Both parties agree to remain exclusive until

such time as the relationship appear to be "on the rocks".

Each party agrees to give the other at least five minutes notice

before terminating said relationship. At the termination of said affair, both parties agree to be mature and return compiled socks, sweatshirts, books, record albums, door keys, and personal undergarments with all due haste through impartial

intermediaries.

 

Both parties agree to refrain from slandering the other for a period of at least seven days (bedroom performance included), and further consent to use one of the following nebulous terms in the description of the breakup:

 

"The timing wasn't right."

"He/she wanted more than I could give."

"He/she was too involved in his/her career."

"He/she decided to go back to his/her lover/hometown/therapist."

 

13. ADDENDUM: After the initial breakup - no matter what -

> both parties agree to give the relationship "one more shot".

 

:stunned: Did you write all that.

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:stunned: Did you write all that.

 

Matt has attorneys who draw up solid contracts just so no one has any misunderstandings when they enter into any type of agreement with him...especially dating relationships...

 

BTW, the woman's name who shall not be mentioned in this forum refused to sign the pre-relationship agreement and that is why Matt dumped her ace...regardless of what you read!!!!

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wildwilly's dating contract -- while not being conventional "most interesting rock-star" hyperbolic material -- is made of win, but I'd add two codicils:

 

To #1: add the phrase "and any paraphilias" to the list of things to be disclosed up front. There's nothing like being in a relationship for six months only to be surprised that one's lover has a secret fixation with [dungeon play/furries/watersports/underage Japanese schoolgirls/elective amputations/fill-in-the-blank secret kink] to have a really, really bad day. 'Cause, you know, if I wanted to participate in that freakshow, I'd have sought out that kinkster subcultcha on Craig's List in the first place.

 

To #7: I wholeheartedly agree with the importance of men's washing their whiskers down the sink, but in the interest of gender equality, to say nothing of bathtub hygiene and aesthetics, it's equally important for bathers of both genders to daily remove their hair from the bathtub or shower enclosure and its drain area. (Otherwise, after a while, it starts to resemble Yak Shaving Day down there.) Failure to comply will result in immediate termination of said relationship, etc.

 

Dunno about his last post about Matt, though. That's an uncleared minefield you're pirouetting through, dude!

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Most people enter into prenuptials before getting married....but Matt is so interesting he has his potential girlfriends sign a relationship contract just so there are NO misunderstandings! :p

 

 

 

 

 

The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being

of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him"):

 

1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship

(colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees

to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children,

bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social

diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active

relationships with anyone else that have not yet terminated.

Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated

complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or

organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result

in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a

chance to get anywhere.

 

2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the

person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred to as the

"matchmaker")blameless in the event that the "fix-up" turns out to be a "real loser" or "psycho bitch". (For definition of "real loser", see "John DeLorean:

 

My Story", available at most bookstores, or any picture of Bob Guccione in "Penthouse". For definition of "psycho bitch", see Sharon Stone

in "Basic Instinct" or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction".)

 

3. DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed

past the first date, both parties mutually agree to use the following

terminology in describing their said "dating":

 

For the first thirty (30) days, both parties consent to say they

Are "going out". (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of

exclusivity.) Following the first thirty (30) days, both parties

may say they are "seeing somebody" and may be referred to by third

parties as "an item". Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the

first date, either member may elect to use the terms "girl/boyfriend" or “lover" and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as "a couple". Under no circumstances are the phrases "my better half", "the little woman", “the old ball and chain", or "my old man/lady" acceptable.

 

Furthermore, if both members consent, this timetable may be sped

up; however, if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this

schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market".

 

4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days, both

parties agree not to ask questions about the other's whereabouts on

weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. No unreasonable

demands or expectations will be made; both parties agree they have no

"rights" or "holds" on the other's time.

Following the first six weeks or forty-five (45) days, if one

party continues to be "missing in action" without explanation, the

"wounded party" agrees to "give up".

 

5. DATING ETIQUETTE: For the first thirty (30) days, both members

of the couple agree to be overly considerate of the other's work

pressures, schedules, and business ambitions. All dates will be made at

least twenty-four (24) hours in advance; there will be no "running off

in the middle of the night to console an old girl/boyfriend", and both

parties agree to strike the phrase "but he/she needs me" from their

vocabularies.

 

Further, during the first six (6) weeks each member of said

relationship agrees to attempt one spontaneous home-cooked meal or to

arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers. Following the first forty-five (45) days, both parties will return to their normal personalities.

 

6. TERMS OF PAYMENT: It is agreed that-respective gross income

aside "he" will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theaters, and

breakfasts until: "He" considers her suitably impressed, "he" is broke, or "he" says, "this is ridiculous, you pay!" Not included in this agreement are meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time.

 

7. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: (occasionally known as the "Why do I

bother to keep my own apartment?" codicil): Should said relationship

progress to the point where the couple spends more than four nights a week together, every effort shall be made to split the time between their respective apartments. Further, it is agreed that both sides will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates. He agrees to "pick up after himself" while in residence at her apartment, including washing his whiskers out of the sink, and assisting with household duties. By the same token, she agrees to respect his right to keep his apartment "a mess".

 

8. THE 90-DAY GRACE PERIOD: For the first three months, each

member of the couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric

use of phrases like "Let's move in together", "Why don't we start a family?" and using archaic terminology like "Let's get married".

9. THE "L" WORD: For the first sixty (60) days, both parties

agree not to use the phrase "I love you". They may love plants, dogs,

cats, concerts, or the way a particular pair of jeans fits, but not each other. Failure by one party to abide by this rule will result in the other party using the "G" word... "Gone".

 

10. GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION: Any of the following will be

grounds for immediate termination and final dissolution of said

relationship:

 

Infidelity: Running off at any time to console an ex-girl/boyfriend,

Ending an argument with the sentence "My ex used to do the same thing";

Suggesting that no matter how kindly that the other member should

seek "help"; Ending any argument with the phrase "My analyst thinks

you are..." "

 

 

 

 

 

11. DECLARATION OF STRENGTH: At the time of breakup,

each party reserves the right to make the other feel guilty by using one or all of the following phrases: "You'll never find anybody better"; "Nobody could ever make you happy"; "I'll find somebody

who can really appreciate me"; "My analyst thinks you are..."

(appropriate psychosis/neurosis goes here)

 

12. MISCELLANEOUS: Both parties agree to remain exclusive until

such time as the relationship appear to be "on the rocks".

Each party agrees to give the other at least five minutes notice

before terminating said relationship. At the termination of said affair, both parties agree to be mature and return compiled socks, sweatshirts, books, record albums, door keys, and personal undergarments with all due haste through impartial

intermediaries.

 

Both parties agree to refrain from slandering the other for a period of at least seven days (bedroom performance included), and further consent to use one of the following nebulous terms in the description of the breakup:

 

"The timing wasn't right."

"He/she wanted more than I could give."

"He/she was too involved in his/her career."

"He/she decided to go back to his/her lover/hometown/therapist."

 

13. ADDENDUM: After the initial breakup - no matter what -

> both parties agree to give the relationship "one more shot".

:stunned: Someone has a lot of time.

btw, tl;dr. :p

 

edit: I don't mean any offense btw, I'm just being honest in that... well, I didn't read it. :erm:

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Here are some favorite relationship songs from The Most Interesting Rock Star in the World:

 

Favorite song on the first date:

 

I love you so let's honeymoon tonight and I might invite you to a concert tomorrow.

 

Songs He sings to break up:

 

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

 

If the phone doesn't ring, you'll know it's me.

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His natural overflow of coolness can be felt and heard from miles away....

 

And here is The Most Interesting Rock Star singing in falsetto:

 

I'm too sexy for my fans

Too sexy for my love life

I'm too sexy for my Muse shirts

So sexy it hurts so good!

And I'm too sexy for the ladies

Too sexy for Milan

New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for my groupies

Too sexy for your panties

No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a rock ICON you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the concert stage

Yeah on the concert stage on the concert stage, yeah

I do my little turn on the concert stage

I'm too sexy for my guitar riffs

Too sexy for my politics

Too sexy by far

And I'm too sexy to have a spat

Too sexy for your pussy cat

What do you think about that?

I'm a rock ICON you know what I mean

And I do my guitar riffs on the stage

Yeah on the concert stage on the concert stage, yeah

I hit those high notes on the concert stage

I'm too sexy for my

Too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a Rock ICON you know what I mean

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His natural overflow of coolness can be felt and heard from miles away....

 

And here is The Most Interesting Rock Star singing in falsetto:

 

I'm too sexy for my fans

Too sexy for my love life

I'm too sexy for my Muse shirts

So sexy it hurts so good!

And I'm too sexy for the ladies

Too sexy for Milan

New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for my groupies

Too sexy for your panties

No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a rock ICON you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the concert stage

Yeah on the concert stage on the concert stage, yeah

I do my little turn on the concert stage

I'm too sexy for my guitar riffs

Too sexy for my politics

Too sexy by far

And I'm too sexy to have a spat

Too sexy for your pussy cat

What do you think about that?

I'm a rock ICON you know what I mean

And I do my guitar riffs on the stage

Yeah on the concert stage on the concert stage, yeah

I hit those high notes on the concert stage

I'm too sexy for my

Too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a Rock ICON you know what I mean

 

This is :awesome:

And now I'm imaging Matt singing this with his falsetto :chuckle:

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