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FilipeDumas

Poetry (post yours, if you wish)

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I don't claim to be a poet, however i do write some stuff every now and again... I don't usually write things that rhyme... Sometimes a bit of Haiku...Anyway i wrote this and it seems to rhyme... And i like it... So i thought i would share it...

 

Her.

 

Everyday she sits

Under the willow tree

Through narrowed slits

I want her just for me

 

This strange floating thing

Oblivious to my stare

She begins to sing

Sunlight glitters on her hair

 

A tortured tear

Slides down my cheek

Nothing but fear

I cannot Speak

 

For this delicate creature

Shall never even know

I love her every feature

Like moonlight on the snow

 

A feeling such as this

I dare not deign describe

A pure slice of bliss

Now my heart does writhe

 

What is this small hope

Of which i grab hold

Her head turns toward me

With eyes of pure gold

 

...Yep thats it... I guess we all want things we can't have... :)

 

The rhythm is off in some places I think, but otherwise, I find that poem lovely. Angelic. Full of feelings I'm used to. :happy:

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Eh, I just posted this in the 'Top of my head' category, but it's more of a compilations of things I thought and wrote down throughout the day. It wasn't half-assed anyway.

 

Me, The Werewolf

 

Eyes falling out of a werewolf's head,

His werewolf friends often say he's half-dead,

He squints at the light of each new day,

And as love approaches he walks away.

 

Coward, he chastes, coward and fool!

Inside he howls because life is so cruel!

The mighty werewolf, once so immune,

Goes for a mope, alone in his tomb.

 

He has but one thought that he cannot heave,

Why did he fall for a simple young Eve?

A humble young wolf should be happy and proud,

But now the tomb's silence is ever so loud.

 

Red-eyed he is, and sore-eyed he feels,

Not quite come over, he falls but just kneels.

He prays and he prays, for the sickness to fly,

Werewolves live on! Werewolves don't die!

 

Lee Morrison, November 26 2008

 

Filipe, I like your first one best. This is just my interpretation, but it seems to me like it's about a baby in a mother's womb...the baby feels it's mother doesn't care about it(like the common belief that babies can feel trauma and feelings occuring outside the womb)? Or perhaps the mother is taking drugs or alcohol while pregnant...that's how I see it anyway.

I really loved this one. It was beautiful and inspiring :)

Keep up the good work..

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Shattered across the landscapes of my life,

My face crawls somewhere in the labyrinth

That walls the happiness from flowing.

Do these graveyards that hate their dead

Save the world from salvation?

 

Broken across the fields of hollowgrams

Lay the thousands of pieces of my face.

I bathe in the emptiness beyond,

Crumbling the lies and truths invented here,

To find the confusion of this reality.

 

A whirl of emotions, a hurricane of thoughts,

A dæmon in my conscience, an angel in my bed,

A man in my head, a seed in my heart,

A muse in my eyes, a leader in my hands,

Earth quaking.

Mind quaking.

This awakening.

 

 

Pleaaaase critisize me! Tear my morale apart. It will only do me good. Don't forgive any mistakes.

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Guest QueenOfNerds
I don't claim to be a poet, however i do write some stuff every now and again... I don't usually write things that rhyme... Sometimes a bit of Haiku...Anyway i wrote this and it seems to rhyme... And i like it... So i thought i would share it...

 

Her.

 

Everyday she sits

Under the willow tree

Through narrowed slits

I want her just for me

 

This strange floating thing

Oblivious to my stare

She begins to sing

Sunlight glitters on her hair

 

A tortured tear

Slides down my cheek

Nothing but fear

I cannot Speak

 

For this delicate creature

Shall never even know

I love her every feature

Like moonlight on the snow

 

A feeling such as this

I dare not deign describe

A pure slice of bliss

Now my heart does writhe

 

What is this small hope

Of which i grab hold

Her head turns toward me

With eyes of pure gold

 

...Yep thats it... I guess we all want things we can't have... :)

 

I like it a lot, love your sig aswell :LOL:

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-Forbidden Fruit-

Twinkling and moist in the early moonlight

I pluck the fruit and hold its

recently sun- kissed warmth

to my cheek.

I bring it close

pressing my lips to

smooth, firm skin.

Teeth puncture flesh.

I close my eyes and bite.

Relish the moment.

Inhale.

Swallow.

Exhale.

 

This one is about a vampire feeding.

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-Orphan-

Abandoned here,

I'm different from you.

I can feel what you feel.

It's not pretty.

It is...

Beautiful and terrible.

A star child in the midst of earth people is a terrifying life.

Always just left of center

But normal enough.

Normal enough to pass,

Unless I speak my mind.

I'm a square peg, baby.

A star child,

an orphan among the homeless.

 

 

Hot off the presses! Er... my mind that is. :D

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Guest QueenOfNerds

-Orphan-

Abandoned here,

I'm different from you.

I can feel what you feel.

It's not pretty.

It is...

Beautiful and terrible.

A star child in the midst of earth people is a terrifying life.

Always just left of center

But normal enough.

Normal enough to pass,

Unless I speak my mind.

I'm a square peg, baby.

A star child,

an orphan among the homeless.

 

 

Hot off the presses! Er... my mind that is. :D

 

I totally get this one, especially that part! ^

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-Forbidden Fruit-

Twinkling and moist in the early moonlight

I pluck the fruit and hold its

recently sun- kissed warmth

to my cheek.

I bring it close

pressing my lips to

smooth, firm skin.

Teeth puncture flesh.

I close my eyes and bite.

Relish the moment.

Inhale.

Swallow.

Exhale.

 

This one is about a vampire feeding.

 

I prefer this one of the two. Though before I little bit you added thought it was portraying Eve as malicious. :LOL:

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I've just discovered this poem and I adore it.

 

He Fumbles At Your Soul

 

He fumbles at your Soul

As Players at the Keys

Before they drop full Music on --

He stuns you by degrees --

Prepares your brittle Nature

For the Ethereal Blow

By fainter Hammers -- further heard --

Then nearer -- Then so slow

Your Breath has time to straighten --

Your Brain -- to bubble Cool --

Deals -- One -- imperial -- Thunderbolt --

That scalps your naked Soul --

 

When Winds take Forests in the Paws --

The Universe -- is still --

 

By Emily Dickinson

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Relapse (Swallowing Ink At A Gulp)

 

Weak, sullen and deprived

Reaching the shore, I'm sodden

With sweat and the elements.

But so blissfully distant!

So blissfully emotionless!

Sturdy and strong, at a guess...

 

It strikes!

The retreating figure so free,

From her once soothing, ugly congestion.

And the little she had swayed for me and made me sick.

I was sick, and that wasn't good for me.

I was sick, and that wasn't good for me.

 

LM, March 2009

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here's a few of mine. let me know what you think.

Plastic Words

 

The words don't mean

Anything.

They are

Pointless.

They mean nothing to

The heart

and the soul.

Nothing more than mere plastic.

They don't move the heart

They don't help the world

Or show the truth.

There is nothing to show

For them

They are alone

Boring

Dull

Soulless

Heartless

Brainless

Plastic.

 

Move forward

 

Never look back,

Keep moving forward.

It's the way to go.

Keep looking at the future,

Never in the past.

Because if we dwell on the past

We just might find

That the world that we knew

Got left behind.

If you keep looking back,

Who know what you'll miss!

A good friend

A new love

A first kiss.

Don't lose yourself to the past.

Don't dwell on what might have been

Only what could be

All you have to do is

Move forward

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Ok, so this was probably the first ever poem I wrote, I wrote it for English last year, constructive criticism would be apreciated.

 

The Question

My question hangs in the air

Already I regret it, I wish now that I hadn’t asked.

I brace myself for the soul-crushing “No”

How can only 2 letters be so horrible?

Your lips part, a single breath escapes your mouth

Already my world is crashing ‘round me

As you reply your mouth curls upward,

I cannot believe it, you are laughing at me already!

Your reply is soft, like a lover’s touch

But it stuns me, like a boxers punch

The single word you utter hits me like a truck

Yet it causes no me no sense of pain.

I feel a sense of relief wash over me,

No longer do I regret the question.

I realise now that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

How can only 3 letters be so wonderful?

 

It's about the feeling of a shy person asking another person on a date or somesuch thing.

 

Also, I figure this is the best place to ask the question, what are some good melancholic poets?

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Ugh, I was going to quote, but did you have to center every line individually? :LOL: *face explodes with BBcode*

 

I love your poem. I usually don't like poems set in a plain-english sort of way like this one, but the theme won me over. I was dubious when you started describing how a word could be so horrible..cliché, maybe...but the descriptions are simple and accurate which is often way better than flowery stuff, and I particularly admire the structure of the poem.

 

And I can't really answer the question, since I'm only recently a real poetry enthusiast and I'm not up to knowing who poets are and reccomending them. :LOL: I just really like Yeats. :LOL:

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Ugh, I was going to quote, but did you have to center every line individually? :LOL: *face explodes with BBcode*

 

I love your poem. I usually don't like poems set in a plain-english sort of way like this one, but the theme won me over. I was dubious when you started describing how a word could be so horrible..cliché, maybe...but the descriptions are simple and accurate which is often way better than flowery stuff, and I particularly admire the structure of the poem.

 

And I can't really answer the question, since I'm only recently a real poetry enthusiast and I'm not up to knowing who poets are and reccomending them. :LOL: I just really like Yeats. :LOL:

:LOL: Sorry, I just copied it out of Word.

 

Cheers for the good feedback :D

I'll try to not include clichés in future work. :) By Plain-English do you mean the lack of rhyme or the sort of words I used?

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:LOL: Sorry, I just copied it out of Word.

 

Cheers for the good feedback :D

I'll try to not include clichés in future work. :) By Plain-English do you mean the lack of rhyme or the sort of words I used?

 

No no, I wasn't annoyed by the cliché because the poem made it good! You described the moment so well, I forgot about it, so write as many clichés as you want so long as they're that good! :LOL:

 

Plain English...I wasn't sure if it was the correct word to use. But the speaker is pretty much telling it like it is, not using any dramatic way to say it, just using similies and metaphors, its simple but very effective. For example:

 

But it stuns me, like a boxers punch

 

could have been more dramatic or exclamatory

 

There, it stuns, like a boxer's punch!

It stuns me cold like a boxer's punch.

 

But your simple line works, it seems to communicate like the rest of the poem the speaker's youth or lack of experience. Not that I'm saying your vocab is weak, just that keeping it simple really worked for this poem. That's what I was trying to say. :D

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No no, I wasn't annoyed by the cliché because the poem made it good! You described the moment so well, I forgot about it, so write as many clichés as you want so long as they're that good! :LOL:

 

Plain English...I wasn't sure if it was the correct word to use. But the speaker is pretty much telling it like it is, not using any dramatic way to say it, just using similies and metaphors, its simple but very effective. For example:

 

But it stuns me, like a boxers punch

 

could have been more dramatic or exclamatory

 

There, it stuns, like a boxer's punch!

It stuns me cold like a boxer's punch.

 

But your simple line works, it seems to communicate like the rest of the poem the speaker's youth or lack of experience. Not that I'm saying your vocab is weak, just that keeping it simple really worked for this poem. That's what I was trying to say. :D

Ah, I get what you mean :) Thanks :D

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something i wrote quite some time ago, so it might just be suckage. just some excessive wordplay, doesn't have any real meaning

 

 

The void is filled with love and wait

The dancing twirls of thought sedate

Wandering images playfully pull

The strings of consciousness

 

And the world begins to slow and show

Down the stream I’ll flow

From whence? To where? I do not know

 

Past the figure of an eight

Past the lovely soul of mate

At this I stop a while and stare

For golden ribbons filled her hair

I’ll miss her so, so young and fair

I turn off and go, go to float

Perhaps she could have told me where

Edited by thom yorke

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Guest QueenOfNerds

Lee what has happened to your Avatar!:LOL:

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Lee what has happened to your Avatar!:LOL:

 

It became aufsome, as opposed to :awesome:. Or whatever. :LOL:

 

For the moment I'm lacking in poetry. Lost my muse...well, technically forcing myself not to write about my muse. Still. :LOL:

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If You See Me Falling

 

If you see me falling

Would you pick me up

If I fail to be all I can be

Would you stand by me

What I did before is in the past

I will turn a new leaf and make it last

Under the moon I feel its bless

Clensing this unintentional mess

I feel I now can be all I can be

For sakes alive my soul is free

In all the world's exquisite charms

My only haven is in your arms

If you see me falling from above

Catch me and bathe me in love

~~~~~~~

 

I'll throw another one on later.....bye! :D

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Ok, so this was probably the first ever poem I wrote, I wrote it for English last year, constructive criticism would be apreciated.

 

The Question

My question hangs in the air

Already I regret it, I wish now that I hadn’t asked.

I brace myself for the soul-crushing “No”

How can only 2 letters be so horrible?

Your lips part, a single breath escapes your mouth

Already my world is crashing ‘round me

As you reply your mouth curls upward,

I cannot believe it, you are laughing at me already!

Your reply is soft, like a lover’s touch

But it stuns me, like a boxers punch

The single word you utter hits me like a truck

Yet it causes no me no sense of pain.

I feel a sense of relief wash over me,

No longer do I regret the question.

I realise now that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

How can only 3 letters be so wonderful?

 

It's about the feeling of a shy person asking another person on a date or somesuch thing.

 

Also, I figure this is the best place to ask the question, what are some good melancholic poets?

 

I'm glad I use WYSIWYG! :p

 

Wow. I love the atmosphere this creates, the way you manipulate the mind to work as opposed to saying "She said yes"

 

Great stuff, my stuff is sucky.

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If You See Me Falling

 

If you see me falling

Would you pick me up

If I fail to be all I can be

Would you stand by me

What I did before is in the past

I will turn a new leaf and make it last

Under the moon I feel its bless

Clensing this unintentional mess

I feel I now can be all I can be

For sakes alive my soul is free

In all the world's exquisite charms

My only haven is in your arms

If you see me falling from above

Catch me and bathe me in love

~~~~~~~

 

I'll throw another one on later.....bye! :D

 

I really like it. Well done, it's beautiful!

 

I post my poems on http://comptine.tumblr.com

So go there, read, register and like, etc.

 

Here's one that I've uploaded there:

 

On the grass

 

With every cloud that passes by

I think that now’s the time to die

With every bug getting into my hair,

I say it wouldn’t be more than fair

With every straw that tickles me,

I wonder if this is what it is to be

With every darker shade of blue,

I feel the night is the only thing true

With every star reaching my eye,

I realise it’s not time to say goodbye

With every bit of quiet in the city,

I miss my loved ones, and never seeing them again would be a pity

With every star that fades away,

I know there must be a reason to stay,

With every lighter shade of blue,

I realise I need to stick too,

With every bit of sound reaching my ears,

I stand up, walk away, and wipe out my tears

With every step closer to being dead,

I need to live before preparing for what lies ahead

With every bit of hope I can defend,

I refuse to believe this is the end..

 

 

 

Yeah, hope you liked it. Doesn't flow too easily, but depends on how you read it.

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I really like it. Well done, it's beautiful!

 

I post my poems on http://comptine.tumblr.com

So go there, read, register and like, etc.

 

Here's one that I've uploaded there:

 

On the grass

 

With every cloud that passes by

I think that now’s the time to die

With every bug getting into my hair,

I say it wouldn’t be more than fair

With every straw that tickles me,

I wonder if this is what it is to be

With every darker shade of blue,

I feel the night is the only thing true

With every star reaching my eye,

I realise it’s not time to say goodbye

With every bit of quiet in the city,

I miss my loved ones, and never seeing them again would be a pity

With every star that fades away,

I know there must be a reason to stay,

With every lighter shade of blue,

I realise I need to stick too,

With every bit of sound reaching my ears,

I stand up, walk away, and wipe out my tears

With every step closer to being dead,

I need to live before preparing for what lies ahead

With every bit of hope I can defend,

I refuse to believe this is the end..

 

Yeah, hope you liked it. Doesn't flow too easily, but depends on how you read it.

 

I like the simplicity and loose structure. It brings across the relaxed, introspective, dreamy feeling of lying on the grass.

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Can't believe I've never posted in here. I used to write poetry all the time. I should get back on it.

 

My most recent is probably two years old.

 

 

Explosions

 

Too good to care

make your plans and keep them

Destroy the thought of freedom

A push, a shove, ignored

Let the flame of fear ignite.

 

 

Watch it explode

begin to implode

the whole of itself exhumed

Feel it erode

A soul on its own

In a plan of destruction sold.

 

 

Scratch out the truth

rewrite the words

continue to spread

a sense of fear

A fear that controls

the minds of the naive.

 

 

Scramble our thoughts

you're too blind to see

the devastation and shame

you have put on our lives.

 

 

 

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