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Neil.

Dear Niall

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Why?

 

Because

 

He was not calling Jamie gay and he was not using gay in a negative sense. He was expressing his opinion that the use of the word gay in such a fashion is immature. You shouldn't be banning him, you should be agreeing with him.

 

But, as I said,

 

The intent was not insult. But if you like to think it was insult, this won't go anywhere.

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Now, I've never been to a pub, but from general experience in public places, especially ones where alcohol is involved, that's where I've seen those kinds of words used the most.

that's why i fucking said fucking nice fucking polite fucking company.

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Well heres an flip side of it. A few years ago I attempted suicide. I jumped out a speeding boat into rough sea. Thankfully I didn't die and at once I realized what I was thinking was wrong. I learnt my lesson and moved on with my life. No one knew and no one had to know. Sometimes my friends will say "X wants to make me kill myself". Do I dislike the use of the phrase? Yes. Do I find it somewhat offensive? Yes. Do I call them out on it and tell them about my experience? No, because they are joking. It is a very morbid joke but it is still a joke. Yes, a morbid joke but still a joke. Compared to what Alex said what others say around me in very public areas it is nothing to bat an eye lid at. This is a case of mod over reaction.

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Now, I've never been to a pub, but from general experience in public places, especially ones where alcohol is involved, that's where I've seen those kinds of words used the most.

 

I've been in, and worked in pubs. If that kind of behaviour goes on then generally the people involved will be berated or thrown out. Obviously not everywhere, but some places are shit holes, but generally barpeople won't want one group of bellends offending everyone else, because they won't want to drink in an atmosphere like that and will go elsewhere.

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that's why i fucking said fucking nice fucking polite fucking company.

 

I guess I just have bad luck then. This is why I just go on mobile muse board when I go out.

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I am straight. And yes, I have been gay bashed.

 

LOLLED.

 

"I'm an alcoholic, but I don't drink. But I'm an alcoholic."

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Now, I've never been to a pub, but from general experience in public places, especially ones where alcohol is involved, that's where I've seen those kinds of words used the most.

 

So that justifies it?

 

Well heres an flip side of it.

 

[sob story]

 

No, because they are joking. It is a very morbid joke but it is still a joke.

 

Ignorance isn't a very funny joke though.

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LOLLED.

 

"I'm an alcoholic, but I don't drink. But I'm an alcoholic."

 

I assumed she meant bullying. It was a misunderstanding, as explained a few posts later.

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This is a perfect example of a conversation where unfortunately half the people taking part have no idea how to hold a discussion or follow the basic maxims of argument; quoting out of context, missing the point, straw man arguments, tit-for-tat over resolution etc. People who are so far behind they think they're first. Unfortunately those people will never be fixed, I've found the best thing to do is just leave them to their devices. in the words of 'Jam'; "thick people are great at winning arguments, because they're too stupid to realise that they've lost"

 

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Ignorance isn't a very funny joke though.

 

Joke is still a joke whether it is funny or not. A good joke will be funny and the funniness of a joke is up to the individual to decide.

 

Also, can you remind me what the original posts were? I've forgotten them and since you're new to this debate you should remember where they are.

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Point people are making is Alex's post was caricature and not insult. He responded sarcastically immaturely to Jamie calling him immature. It's like criticizing Stephen Colbert for being a Republican.

 

So that justifies it?

 

When did I say that?

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I assumed she meant bullying. It was a misunderstanding, as explained a few posts later.

 

Ah right. I suppose the fact that you'd see 'gay-bashing' and 'bullying' as synonymous speaks volumes for some people's ability to cohere

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Well heres an flip side of it. A few years ago I attempted suicide. I jumped out a speeding boat into rough sea. Thankfully I didn't die and at once I realized what I was thinking was wrong. I learnt my lesson and moved on with my life. No one knew and no one had to know. Sometimes my friends will say "X wants to make me kill myself". Do I dislike the use of the phrase? Yes. Do I find it somewhat offensive? Yes. Do I call them out on it and tell them about my experience? No, because they are joking. It is a very morbid joke but it is still a joke. Yes, a morbid joke but still a joke. Compared to what Alex said what others say around me in very public areas it is nothing to bat an eye lid at. This is a case of mod over reaction.

again, nope. You're not offended by the jokes, but some people might be. We all have our triggers: mine is people being called ugly because they're wonky. Mate of mine can't stand people using the word 'stupid'!. Another can't stand dead baby jokes because of reasons. There's a time and a place for being a cunt.

 

I know pub landlords who would kick someone out for saying somebody else's beard is shit but will tell everyone to 'fuck off home' at last orders... we're not saying be super polite and ubernice all the fucking time but there's a time and a place for potentially offensive matey injokes, and that's in private.

 

Mate and I went round Berlin last weekend quietly making each other laugh by muttering the N word for our own, private lulz, but we wouldn't dream of using it loudly in public. Basically, if there's a chance you can offend someone, shut up! And I don't just mean 'offend', for some people these words can be triggering to the point of serious upset. Just because you can laugh at your own life situations with your mates, some people really can't.

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You might not care, but the majority of people within the LBGT+ spectrum do. I'm bi, like you, but people in "straight" relationships are far less likely to be abused with that word than people in same sex ones. As a personal example, my brother came out when he was in his mid 20s. He, unbeknownst to me, was bullied at school and called "gay" and "faggot" because he was not into sports, and liked reading and studying and had more female friends than male ones. He's not really very camp, so those words were flung at him not necessarily knowing he was gay. He didn't come out for years because of it, because these bullies told him basically that gay was undesirable, unacceptable. He hates hearing things like "oh my phone won't send texts it's being gay" because of his experiences.

 

This is just a personal one, because it's obviously one I am close to, but I know of similar experiences. I know it's not always easier on the women, my married female housemates are looking for a holiday at the moment and they have to pick countries where they won't be abused for being same sex, but as bi femmes we do get it a little easier.

 

Bold bit= true, good point.

 

I do wonder if I were a lesbian and had been bullied and called horrible things because of my sexuality how much I'd mind hearing the word "gay" used so casually by people. I say this because I'm not easily offended by words, if they're not said in malicious ways. I'm not bothered if I hear jokes about sexual abuse, despite some things I went through as a kid. And I don't mind if someone jokingly uses the word "retard" and I have a sibling with downs syndrome.

 

I don't know what that says about me, nothing good I guess.

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fact of the matter: if you were in a pub, in polite, public company, and you were using racial slurs or 'gay'-as-a-pejorative, saying 'retard' or calling a mate who's shit at pool a 'woman' or calling your friend a 'stupid ugly wonky-eyed bitch' even jokingly (that last one might be a personal trigger lmao lmao), people around you hearing that would be offended, and the landlord would kick your ass out. You might be with your mates on this board and 'only joking', but you're with your mates in a public setting. So wind your neck in

 

Never go to a pub in Sittingbourne.

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I guess I just have bad luck then. This is why I just go on mobile muse board when I go out.

 

& this is why mobile muse board needs to remain polite, public company :D

Never go to a pub in Sittingbourne.

 

hahaaa

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Well what was your point?

 

That I've seen that kind of thing happen in more public places than in private company. Observation and post. Wasn't really arguing anything there.

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Joke is still a joke whether it is funny or not. A good joke will be funny and the funniness of a joke is up to the individual to decide.

 

Jokes have audiences.

 

A bullet is pointless without a target. How effective it is is dependent on what it hits.

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LOLLED.

 

"I'm an alcoholic, but I don't drink. But I'm an alcoholic."

 

That's a terrible example and shows how ignorant you are of alcoholics. Drinking a lot doesn't make you an alcoholic. Go to an AA meeting and tell someone who no longer drinks that they aren't an alcoholic and they will laugh in your face because you are an idiot.

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Night everyone, gay-bash again and I'll personally glass you

 

x

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again, nope. You're not offended by the jokes,

 

"Do I find it somewhat offensive? Yes"

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