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I cast out a stone and see the light that's thrown out

Returned from the point where I saw my will working at the end of my aim.

I want to start with my goal in mind.

Drawn backwards I slide when I leave at slack tide

It's easy to lose the reflection until the ripples have died

But that moment doesn't exist. The water will always move and sway, the goal always changing dipping in and out of a perfect state.

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I dreamt of a man

gentle and tender

who entwined

his fingers with mine

 

The dream felt so real

that for a few seconds

it trespassed

into my waking life

 

I remember

only the sensation

of the touch

the warmth and

strength of his hand

 

And a phrase

made of five words

spoken by this

inimitable man

 

I woke happy

peacefully content

but I wanted to

dream more of him

who made me feel ebullient

 

The moment passed

but the mirth remained

I doubted anyone

could make me feel the same

 

Somewhere there must exist

a savvy and vital man

who is kind enough

to hold my hand

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Delivered the message

cutting through tumultuous times

Just wanted to hear

that message

slicing through futures time

precision aura hone

riding the gases of

absolute zero

surfing the ice forming provider

spinning the worlds of time

waves of exchange

they come to me

In the beginning

they were being pressed

by outside forces

so intense the pressure

my brainiverse sprang into existence

The heat of those moments

attempting to push back the bitter cold

For this my eyes cast

The zoom tells of worlds not so distant

that run through me

searching for that next link

that joins to make the fabric

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I particularly liked the first one, so perfect and beautiful.

 

Ok inspired I will try something.

 

Perfect unbroken light when we began

We were unwoven a pristine duet

Focused with pure intent, love alone

Sacrificing all for that one moment

That single point in time.

Laying it on the line like each moment was our last.

This folly of youth, in pursuit of beauty

Sacrificing truth.

We never knew that things could change

As energy shivers, focus fades.

That's when your vision widens

Suddenly a thousand points of light

A thousand lives shining.

The thred is frayed our love fractured.

 

That was one boooop.

 

When you go I understand but

Can't you tell I am like a pup

Waiting by the door

Waiting for head on paws

When you are here

I bound around

Unleashed bearing grinning teeth

It's my way

Uncensored and indiscreet.

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My mind is trapped inside my body.

An ocean of thoughts and feelings

that never make it to the surface.

You never see a mote of the

beauty and passion I carry inside.

 

And there are days when I want to be me.

My mind swells against the prison of my tongue.

It aches to be free to speak.

A waterfall of ideas raining down, but only a

drop comes forth from my mouth -

"sure", "absolutely", "no problem", "okay".

These aren't words I choose to speak,

but they are words you understand.

Out they come, and you smile and nod.

 

My mind demands more of life.

Surely, there must be more than this.

I would trade the disquieting peace -

I'd discard my clever camouflage -

I'd give up my normality -

 

For a life worth living,

a life where you and I speak about

anything and everything,

where the world is open for exploration,

where communication also becomes

music and touch and 3D art,

where no one is rejected for being different.

 

Where does a life like this exist?

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He looked upon himself

as half the man

in which the fury on thoughts devour

as he lay in the empty valley

No light was cast for him

No, not for him

Why could he not see the path?

The fireflies did not shine

in his world

For had they,

they would have lit the path

to climb rooted stairs

up the mountain side

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something I wrote at 3am:

 

you burnt your brazen black books

their ash filling the air with disgust and despair

your frail flesh pierced with hollow hooks

caught in time, too rusted to repair

 

throttling down withered whisky after whisky

the cold casting poisons pour into the abyss

the thought of getting up seems a bit risky

placing the blue bottle to let out a hungered hiss

 

casually coughing from the last cig

the finest feelings of blazing bliss

while googling the next glorious gig

that we will all morbidly miss

 

pitifully we pass out in pain

arsenic alcohol flowing through our veins

from the pointless pastime with no gain

trapped tight together within our chains

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To be closer to him

I sought out

immortality,

but instead,

a death-like sleep

separates me

from humanity.

 

How could I not

reach beyond my limits

to touch the feet

of Cupid.

 

How could I not

try to taste life

one last time.

 

Rising gracefully

into a last embrace

with him.

 

How could I not

hold his tenderness

in my mind.

 

If he could redeem

my tarnished soul and

wake me from this

languid plight,

will I live once again,

kneeling in his light?

 

--

 

Thou and I

under a different sun

would never need

to journey away.

 

Everyone we meet

would understand us

and the words

that we say.

 

We would belong

as we are,

never as they would

have us be.

 

For you are already perfect.

Truthfully,

that is what I believe.

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We miraculously made beautiful patterns

On the page with 26 letters up, a single word wide.

Side to side waltzing around the awkward fact that I seemed to fall so easily

for your eyes and your hair your use of language and sound.

On my own I helplessly go from point to point

Fruitlessly from A to B.

What choice do I have but to aimlessly give my love without a thought of a return. Only a cold echo.

Regardless, I am whatever makes me. I'm filled with love regardless.

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a world covered and consumed by distortion

wretching and raving in its righteous retortion

as lines of static chaotically consume the skies

flailing and falling in the retaliation it tries

 

hollow horizons collapse and crumble

bleeding and burning though their worthless waste

mountains of mould twist and tumble

ending everything with a harsh eternal haste

 

trusting others burns a truly terrible fate

cursing kindly this harsh undeniable hate

burnt loathing leaves scatter the solitary soil

while citys crack and pour oceans of oil

 

hollow horizons collapse and crumble

bleeding and burning though their worthless waste

mountains of mould twist and tumble

ending everything with a harsh eternal haste

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If I were to listen to my dreams my skin would be screaming out why did you separate yourself

Why did cut yourself from his flesh.

I would take myself to the highest building and I'd

Leave myself there and not return.

If I see things through the pain that is what I would do.

I am reminded when I wake, he was the one who left me I just made the first move.

Place were traded and she came first and always did and always will.

Threat away regret away nothing changes the choice you made. Here I am still healing skin still screaming to you I'm nothing but a memory.

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Raise voice to the heavens above

Let it sound a quiet as love

Dark consumes so be aware

dance about without a care

All of those struggles we feel

Only seem... oh so real

Push back the night

shine through the day

you'll make them all

just fall away

When things get strange

and torn apart

remember how you felt

from the start

Tell the heavens no way

begin moving hand

gesture a new sound

with curves and lines

write away the sands of time

make it better

sealed with love

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There is no such thing as a fair world

Knowing that is everything.

I feel it time and time again

How I let time rush off

Looking forward instead of in.

Wanting not having.

I have so much in my grasp.

Potential.

Voice and hands all seeing eyes

How can I let hatred blind me.

I won't argue for your weakness anymore

I won't fear what is coming.

I'm just starting to fly.

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After things were finalised, not content to

Remain a drab bird but becoming a prized peacock

A hundred colours consumed and atomised,

Perfumed and painted every hue.

Colours that heal stripped back to nature

Alone, colours reveal when peeled to the core.

 

 

I've been getting into colour a bit. I doodled. They are rubbish but the colour is important to me right now.

 

20140916_154418.jpg

 

Naiyls!

20140917_222303.jpg

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Me again.

 

clay cliffs shaved clean

By the waves

A cascading curtain reflecting him alone

A world away from my luna home.

He is beautiful, when I look back

But what a shame to change In such a shallow way when the waves are slack.

If only I could go back

But that is a poisonous pastime

When the one I left's no longer mine

And no longer who he was.

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sometimes i see ballrooms. i see stars and sandy beaches and forests and rain with soft, grey clouds and beautiful people everywhere. i float around in 3/4 like a little speck of dust bouncing through a drafty room.

sometimes i see nothing but red. i find people repulsive. i want to shatter glass, and break buildings. i want to run a thousand miles until my heart pops, i want to break bones and tear tendons.

 

sometimes i don't feel anything at all. i'm just in bed, waiting to fall asleep. listening to a fan blow air. sitting in a classroom. walking. this is how i am most of the time.

 

externally, there is no distinction from these states. i might be able to describe what i am feeling, but there is no real way to truly emote the things i feel on the inside because i never learned how. i can smile, but it is a poor imitation to the things i feel in my head. i do not cry. i try not to tell people my problems. i take care of my friends like i would take care of a garden. you will never get a message from me in the middle of the night. sex is biological. i want to do well in life because i want my children to do well. i want to be a good father so my children will know right from wrong.

 

i detest the people who wear their hearts on their sleeves. those people who think so much that their lives or emotions are more important than anything else in the world are so fucking desperate. not only is it desperate, it is ignorant and unfulfilling, to go about chasing perfection like they do. what's worse is when they take advantage of people like myself, who think they might be able to inject some rationalism into the situation. not a chance.

 

the best way to describe people like me is inert. we don't interact with other quite so much. we stay on a certain course until a force acts on us and changes our trajectory. the worst part about all of that is that once we are stopped, there's no moving forward. we just have to wait until someone else puts us back in motion. so whatever you do, if you know someone like me, don't mess around with us.

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That wolf did howl

cast upon nights glare

Scanning horizons

teeth seething with primal form

drool glistening against the stars

heavied breathing

reeling senses

He enjoys the hunt

held at the ready

but when he is in doubt

devours from inside out

very few match his strength

yet in this presence

he cowers his ears

and turns tail

disappearing into the forest

leaving only the prints of a failed hunt

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A heart upon sleeve

more precious than gold

Handled with gentleness and grace

for the human spectra

does span greatly

and my ears are tuned

to receive kindness

not hate

For that, I do not apologize

when the utmost honesty was conveyed

crumpled up and thrown away

So I will wait for you to see

no lies did cross

upon these lips

My heart will walk

alongside my mind

as I move forward battling time

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Watching them pass through, giving each one meaning. Even our feelings have names.

We can't help it, it's our nature.

It's hard to see ourselves so a mirror isn't a bad thing.

Projecting what you want takes time

It's no mean feat, and it's a path to take alone.

I am not static, my image shifts and changes and I am not afraid of what I see, not afraid of the image I project. I change every day up and down, finding a way to see but not judge, feel without giving it a name it's a journey to make alone without fear.

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The bodiless symbioses

are what succors me,

but once again,

I find I believe

in the heroes of old-

Orion, Adonis, and

Hippomenes the bold.

Elated though I am,

I feel peacefully content

to watch from afar

as they unfold

their master plan.

Confident I am

that what will come

from them will be as

wonderful or greater than

anything foretold.

 

--

 

Traveling to the fuzzy line before the unknown,

I pushed away all that would easily go,

to not witness the transition,

but it is not a quick expedition.

The strife I struggled through

was a byproduct of this isolation,

but better to feel petty wrath from afar

than the pity and sorrow up close.

At least, that is what I said to comfort myself,

but that primal need to live and breathe

makes me want to scream-

'Don't let me go!'

 

You drew me to your warmth and

how I rushed to speak to you in my way.

But to spare you sadness,

I thought it best to stay silent and away.

And yet, if you have need of me,

I would try to extend time to include unwritten days,

but I cannot say how long I can stay.

 

If I had the ability to alter destiny,

I would make certain your life was long, full and happy,

because I adore you,

you lovely, clever fool.

Do what you must do,

but know I believe in you.

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Beautiful work guys!

 

 

In The Light

 

Bound to the Earth

as I move with the Moon

Can you hear my cry

while you sleep against the tide

As it becomes harder to see

while watching shadows

play in the light

 

I’ve fallen in this spell

My soul grows fond

bathing in stars

warming the universe

 

Imagining your whisper

was a touch

gazing past the nothing

through the storms

seeing certain patterns

emerge

Watching shadows play in the light

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Split Ends.

 

The roots were holding on next to the keratin, nestling, gently

the wind caressed them sometimes, hair and not hair

alike. Near-motionless at the swivel chair, she and

the solar headband, leaning, taking in. Subsisting on overheard

conversation. Faster creatures with active powers swinging by and

wrapping around. Life was self-revolving, self-resolving. Flash-

forward. Stunted petals are growing back stronger. Something happened.

She evolved perhaps, took another's skin perhaps; some say the roots took

hold of her ears, but today she seeks. Her white feet are paddling. She runs.

Edited by New Born Lee

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I think you're extraordinary even when you goof or fumble,

and you're always kind and caring even when you want to walk away.

I think you're absolutely wonderful even when you curse or mumble,

and you're always smart and funny even when you run out of things to say.

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I come to try countless keys to locks

And throw myself onto the rocks

And discover what confirmation I can find

In shadows shown only to the blind

Taking time to count the stars

In hopeless desperate hours hours

Because I still can't see quite clearly.

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