it's just always been cathartic to be able to figure things out. it really helps pass the time, and i guess the whole reasoning behind the scientific method is figuring out how things work, hypothetical situations and all that jazz. hahahahah is it bad that we can't even demand literacy from people anymore? like i understand there's extenuating circumstances but come on...

that's excellent. it's really genuinely pleasant to meet people more literate on paper than in person. if you have links to your fiction i wouldn't mind reading, as long as youre comfortable with it. it's tough to say when i started, honestly i feel like a douche because i know there is like a formula and method when it comes to writing poetry, but then i just start blurting things out off the top of my head haha. i would like to get into the form of writing actual poetry, like meter and all that jazz, but it's just so nice to go on a rant, even if i stop making sense halfway through and im just rambling it's weird because it really is sort of stream of consciousness you know, i want to convey my actual thought process more than anything else, including the emotions i feel while im writing what i write.

wow. that's just ridiculous. i honestly just don't know how to deal with knowing that sort of thing goes on. i wonder how she's doing now, would you know? i mean i don't mean to pry but like sometimes there just has to be a light at the end. even the best case scenario she probably has to work her ass off seven days a week, maybe it's not so bad though. if youre working towards something that matters then it might not be so awful.

hahahha but you know at least muse has amazing talent. like all three of these guys have invested an incredible amount of time and money honing their craft and it payed off for them. hopefully they live modestly enough but you get the point

hahahahha fandoms are so ridiculous. THEY MAKE NO SENSE, fucking tumblr.

yeah that's why they say the whole cyber bullying thing is such a big deal: since people can be anonymous on the internet they will say things that they probably wouldn't normally you know. that's the weird part about the internet. there's so many people but they're never really looking where you want them to

no i understand, don't worry i'm not upset. it's just difficult for me to wrap my head around the things i hear about everyday, i don't understand how my generation is going to deal with this.

hahahahha well i wouldn't mind being a tool for society as long as its something productive. i feel like being a teacher would be really rewarding. i want people to understand that they can be self sufficient you know. like i never even realized there was a life outside school for the longest time, you know like what is life beyond school? (so naive holy shit.) i want to at least help SOMEBODY understand that they can find a purpose beyond doing "what they're supposed to be doing." and im not saying like oh fuck the system, im saying maybe we can make it a little better for everyone. i hate being so idealistic, but you get the point.

holy god. haha that's a lot of areas to live, seems kinda bittersweet. seattle is amazing, went there with a few friends a couple years ago. that's just so cool to travel all around like that though, especially as a kid. being in a lot of places and seeing all different kinds of people is so foreign haha. literally, i guess.

honestly, (at least for me), it's not even just communicating online. like there's a ton of people i love spending time with and talking to and plenty of women i should be asking out on dates and all that jazz, but maintaining relationships like that (and not just romantic ones, like any type of relationship) requires a lot of time and energy. so it's not just like online, if anything i feel like i'm way more honest about anything online because there's not that face to face you know. i feel like there's less biology in the way with text communication, it feels much less restricted when it comes to sharing ideas and learning things that can actually change who you are or what you think. in person i always feel like i need to put on a show as to how i should respond to a person, whereas online things are much more direct.

hahahah that's too bad your peers aren't very computer literate, it seems like everyone i know is these days. WRITING IS AN ART, I APPRECIATE YOUR GRAMMAR.

hahahahaha i also appreciate the concern, but for reals though you don't need to worry about me at all. the allusion to suicide was in pretty poor taste now that i think about it, especially because i'm not suicidal at all, haha like i promise my life is fantastic. the reason why i wrote that is because like i dont understand what i did to deserve such a great life, when there's millions of people who are infinitely more driven and resourceful but still have to live in squalor, and it just makes me really angry. like there's so many people who can fuck up so much and not have to worry about shit (think the kardashians, your typical bureaucratic politician, any talentless scum that essentially steals money for a living; you know, like a social parasite), then meanwhile EVERY FUCKING DAY i see people working like fifty fucking jobs living in shitty apartments, with no money to spare. and like you know it could have been anybody, im seriously so fucking happy that it's not the case for me you know. it's really actually motivating to think i've been given all these opportunities to become something great, it'd be absolutely unforgivable to waste any of it because there's people in this world who would kill for what i have, in fact there's people who HAVE killed for what i have.

so, i'm a math major, to answer your other question i figured it was an extremely marketable skill to have, and it's really interesting to think that studying math is sort of defining the way the universe works on the most fundamental level, it's one of the few subjects that actually seems to have intrinsic value to me. not to mention that our society SEVERELY needs people to be mathematically/scientifically literate, you know so even if im too stupid to do everything even if i get halfway there that's an accomplishment in of itself, like the things i learn are more important than earning the degree, IMAGINE THAT...

hahaha online activism changing the world one hashtag at a time huh?

hahahahha half the people on my facebook live within five miles of myself yet ive only know them from school or theyre just friends of friends of friends i meet out and about in the world. another significant portion are people i see about bi-annually, and then the remaining .1 percent are people i actually care about.

yeah i hear you, it does sound sort of jaded to say that rape is not the biggest crime we have but i guess that's the world we live in these days. its just upsetting to see people actually notice a problem in society but still in the back of my head i know nothings going to change.

haha i havnt met very many from the internet really. unless you count people from facebook, but that doesn't count. as far as i can tell i could only expect someone to be as good as i am, and im kind of flakey in general, so i dont hold it against people if they leave me alone. haha normals just a word, don't worry about trying to figure that out itll just keep you up at night.

nice to meet you julie, your name makes more sense now. i'm nick. usually i tell people where im from: if you've ever heard of fresno, california, that's where i live and it blows mad dix. im actually in a suburban town like directly adjacent to fresno called clovis, but the only reason clovis is any better is because the schools are nicer and there's (much) less meth use and generally deterioration of the public space.

i take it you live in america?

hahahaha its worth it if you can get through all the cryptic nonsense trust me.

i should get her some flowers, hahaha shes worked really hard lately for my sisters wedding.

the monotony must be awful, how could a bunch of librarians be boring tho? /sarcasm

speaking of facebook and social media in general, how do you feel about the whole #yesallwomen trend going around? ive just been really conflicted, its actually been on my mind a lot and everyone i talk to is either indifferent or completely, unrealistically idealistic. i dont think rape is okay (obviously), and ive never thought of women as inferior or things to be used as objects (the men in my family are actually much more inferior than the women, believe me). but i get so angry when people 'tweet' about the objectification of women, because these facts are here in my face, it makes me feel like i have to apologize because im a guy. like what are we supposed to DO about it, ive known my whole life that rape is wrong and that the only distinction between men and women is genetic. i am emotionally incapable of raping somebody, but here i am being blamed for it, along with every male friend i have.

idk. i just think its idealistic to believe that we can 'get rid of rape,' or 'solve poverty' or world hunger, or any one of these social issues that have been present since the dawn of civilization, and my blood pressure has been going through the roof every time i get on the internet. #yesallwomen reminds me of kony 2012, and i remember what an absolute waste of time and what an embarrassment it was to everyone i saw that participated. BECAUSE NOTHING CHANGED.

also i love chuck palahniuk's fiction. its really really fucked up and weird but i think you may like it, as long as you dont get grossed out easily, cos its usually pretty gross.

hahahaha thank you it means a lot. im still kind of a fuckup, but i had a really excellent education growing up, and im really inspired by musicians (like matt bellamy ) who have really dedicated their lives to something, as well as people in my family who are really successful because theyve worked so hard. if youve ever heard of fresno (im from a suburban area east of fresno called clovis), its the most socio-economically divided city in america, it just lends A LOT of insight and comparison among people and lifestyles. plus im an idealistic college student in my early 20's so you know im just ooooh so enlightened about life (sarcasm).

so i dont really deserve any credit, thank my mom. but ill take the credit anyways, so thanks.

you read my mind

happy late birthday lenny

hahah Nick, i remember you, you fucking panda. And thank you very much, take care!

Fluh i bet you dont remember me or use this anymore but happy birthday!

hahaha who in blazes is errol garner?

those lecture classes are so. damned. boring. this last semester i took..... armenian studies... history of rocknroll (which was retarded btw), like basic physics, and a pretty awesome philosophy class. armenian studies was actually really interesting until we got to the genocide.

and you too im happy other countries can celebrate our raping and pillaging of the new world.

I think they have those ones as well, but my uni seems to have quite a penchant for like, jazz musicians. The creation and conditioning thereof. I've gone to those ones, because secretly I want to be Erroll Garner

Oh. Economics. That sounds so dry. Poor you. Nice of him to let you out early though. I don't think anyone would go to a lecture that late at my uni... I had law til 5pm this semester and though it was a class of like 200, by the end of the semester, there'd only be about 60 people dotted across the lecture hall. What else are you taking other than economics?

Also, hope you had a nice Thanksgiving the other week or whenever it was.

like.... how did you get into the business? did you go to MI or something?